So what does your family think about poker?

[Perseus]

Thought this might be an interesting topic.

I was talking to my girlfriend last night, and I realized how lucky I am that she supports me 100% in many things, including playing poker for some part time income.

Also, in my immediate family we've been playing all sorts of games (including a real cutthroat scrabble game) since I could barely speak, and my parents recently asked me to teach them how to play.

Friends I know are not as lucky, and many of their family members see poker as a problem (a serious one at that).

I was wondering how the family and friends of 2+2 members view poker, and how you guys deal with adversity.

Jon

[manpower]

I rarely talk about it with company. I'm not making enough for it to be a big deal so I don't make one out of it. I think my dad is actually proud of me though. He usually asks how the bankroll is whenever I talk to him. My mom probably harbors a quiet disaproval, but is smart enough to realize that a profitable hobby is better than the alternative. I'm happy to report that I haven't gotten involved with any women who would object to the game.

[Reef]

they pretty much rather me being a jigallo

[wall_st]

Oddly enough my family seems to have no problem with my playing at all. In fact I like to log most of my hours when I spend time at home because I can do so relatively undisturbed. However my girlfriend seems to be playing the role of that girl in rounders. She seems disturbed that I play, considers it gambling and is worried that I will lose my life savings or something like that. The oddest part is that I have built my role from zero dollars, yet she still seems concerned about me losing my money.

How have other people dealt with a situation like this ? I have considered having her watch me play poker, but I think she might just think that was really boring. Any ideas, don't mean to hijack the thread here, but would be interesting to hear how other people have dealt with their family poker adversities.

[MelchyBeau]

My dad thinks it is good, he only ask that I keep good records. My mom thinks I'll end up in the gutter. I tried to compare it to investing in stocks, which she sees a legitimate, but didn't work.

Wall St:

I think it would be a bad idea to have her watch you play cards. What if you have a bad session? That could be very detrimental in your quest to prove poker is a good thing. Your game my change from grinding out a winning, to proving yourself the best. Fancy Play Syndrome is bad.

I don't think you will be able to convince her personally. My one suggestion is records. If you can show her using records of your experience i.e. pokertracker, and statistically, i.e. confidence levels, that you are a winner, it will be your best shot.

Melch

[Jdanz]

i'm a sophmore in college, and my parents were really scared when i picked poker seriously in the spring of my senior year of highschool. But i played with money i'd made caddying/tutoring so they couldn't say much. They were more worried once i dropped about a thousand dollars over my first 6-8 months. They are less concerned since i haven't asked them for a cent since i've been in college (in nyc) and put about 8k in the stock market.

Family is reasonably worried about things as dangerous as gambling addiction. Show 'em you're serious and can show consitent results and they come around.

Now my "amazing" poker stories are the first thing my dad talks about when he's asked "how are the kids".

[Evan]

My parents really didn't like it at first (I'm 19 btw). Once they saw that I was taking it seriously and winning they kinda decided it was okay, but they still often remind me not to devote so much time to poker that I can't do schoolwork.

My grandparents know that I play too and they hate it. They think that it is not possible to win money in the long run at any type of gambling. I've tried to explain thigns to them but they just hear what they want to hear; which is fine with me, I just don't talk to them about it.

Some of my friends play poker and i don't talk about it much with the ones that don't so that's not much of an issue.

I've also gotten some really weird reactions from girls when they found out I played. Its ranged from thinking it was the coolest thing ever to the dumbest thing ever. Nothing has ever really come of any of those opinions, but I thought they were interesting.

Overall I have no real opostion to poker in my life. Even if I did though, I'm not going to quite doing this to make 10% as much money working some sh[/i]itty part time job while I'm in college.

[Evan]

Where do you go to school?

[invast]

My parents are fine with it, as long as I'm not stupid about it and play with money I can't afford to lose.

[ddss6_99]

It's funny that most peoples fathers are the one's who approve of it while the mothers disapprove. For me it's the other way around. My mother approves of my poker play and can't wait until I'm 21 so we can go to the casino. My father on the other hand doesn't really try to forbid me from playing(like he could even if he wanted to), but he's always telling me to be careful. He seems to think that there's a gambling gene that comes from my mother's side of the family (and he may be right) and just worries that I'll become a degenerate gambler who'll lose my house over it someday. I tell him to relax and not worry about it, but of course he responds with the typical parental answer "I'm your father, it's my job to worry"

[snowbank]

My parents are very risk averse. They thought I was playing for pennies until a few months ago. They seem to be okay with it, even though they definitely don't encourage it. I am going to surprise them when I graduate and show them the kind of money I have made from it, so they know that I'm not just "gambling." My mom is always like, "did you win today, did you lose today?" It's kind of funny.

[Megenoita]

My family, we are all conservative Christians who adhere to the Bible strictly. Although the Bible says nothing against poker (it encourages investing in a few places), my father simply considers it pure gambling and being irresponsible and wont allow me to speak about it in front of him, lol. My mother is not thrilled, but has no problem with it. My other siblings are fine with it. I've found in talking to other conservative Christians that under scrutiny, you really can defend it as a legitimate investment opportunity, much like stocks and (I was told) day trading.

I think that with smaller sums of money, there is no better investment. For larger sums, there are obviously better investments.

I do have a personal goal of sending my father a healthy check in the next year-2 years with a smile, from poker /images/graemlins/smile.gif.

[1800GAMBLER]

[ QUOTE ]
I've also gotten some really weird reactions from girls when they found out I played. Its ranged from thinking it was the coolest thing ever to the dumbest thing ever. Nothing has ever really come of any of those opinions, but I thought they were interesting.

[/ QUOTE ]

I 2nd that. It's either a great reaction or an awful reaction and no matter how much i've tried to explain it to the girls who had the awful reaction they never change their minds.

My parents are fine with it. It was pretty tough when i dropped out of university though, eventually they were supportive. All my friends parents are awaiting the day i run into 'the bigger fish' by that they mean the player that is going to bust me. So in their imagination my whole br is going to somehow get onto the table and they probably imagine it to all be played out in one hand.

[Joe Tall]

I 2nd that. It's either a great reaction or an awful reaction and no matter how much i've tried to explain it to the girls who had the awful reaction they never change their minds.

I'm 100% with you on this one. My favorite line yet, "So, have you ever dated a professional gambler?"

Typical answer, "Um, no"

My reply, "Good, me neither." /images/graemlins/grin.gif

Peace,
Joe Tall

[sthief09]

[ QUOTE ]
Where do you go to school?

[/ QUOTE ]

that's a joke right? or do you not realize that you two go to the same school

[sthief09]

well, ever since I started playing poker my grades have done down the shitter. I don't think that has 100% to do with poker. I kinda got f[/i]ucked with my major and I hate all my classes so that probably has to do with it.

anyway, they think the few thousand I make is sh[/i]t compared to my 40k a year education, and they're right. still, I plan to start saving up whenever it is I get a good enough roll for PP 15/30, and I think that will come in handy for when I graduate. I have a long term girlfriend and hope to still be with her out of college, so it'll be useful to have some money to start off with.

in general though, they don't have a problem with it, as logn as it's not getting in the way of my work.

[NLSoldier]

[ QUOTE ]
well, ever since I started playing poker my grades have done down the shitter.

[/ QUOTE ]

Same here and that is the main reason my parents aren't a big fan of it.

They also don't like that I have gotten my 15 yr old brother into online poker. (He posts on here as Ogre) Just cause its illeagal and they think he's too young but he is winning so its hard to argue.

Basically I think my parents see it as a good alternative to getting smashed every weekend but don't want it interfering with school.

My mom's whole side of the family gambles quite a bit and plays bridge a ton so I guess cards and gambling are just in my blood and thats why my mom doesn't mind it too much. My dad likes skill and mathmatical parts of the game so thats why he puts up with it I guess.

The biggest complaint my dad has when I talk about my ambitions of playing proffessionally is that he says it doesn't contribute anything to society. I've tried to use some of the standard arguments but haven't made much ground on that issue.

[AncientPC]

My family doesn't know.

I live with my gf and she's cool with it. In her eyes, it's a +EV hobby.

My mother is particularly anti-gambling because her husband and her father were both addicted gamblers (mahjonng). I do keep very detailed records of my poker money / bankroll progress for that one day I'm going to have to explain exactly how I actually pay rent and bills with no job.

My grades went down the shitter more than two years ago, I've only started playing poker for about 4 months.

I'm also teaching my little brother (17) how to play. He's been playing in a friendly home tourney for chump change anyway with his friends, and they all learned how to play by watching WSOP / WPT.

[Evan]

Couldn't you two go to the same school too?

[MarkL444]

my immediate family is real cool with me about it.
i actually just told my extended family. i never wanted to make a big deal about it. i dont make that much, although i do fully support myself with it. thing is, my aunts/uncles always would ask me [censored] like hows school going? got a job? i had to lie and make up a job that i was working. basically my grandpa is old-school and thinks that being a full time student isnt enough (which is debatable i guess), so i HAD to have a job. plus he hates gambling. either way ive decided i should probably tell him, just because lying is lame. i think i might do when i go home friday.

[Nightwish]

[ QUOTE ]

My parents are fine with it. It was pretty tough when i dropped out of university though, eventually they were supportive.

[/ QUOTE ]
You dropped out of school to play poker?!?

[stinkypete]

i'm 22 and in university (you americans might wanna call it college), and like a lot of people, my dad seems to have no problem with it as long as i don't do anything stupid, while my mom seems to be a little worried.

she just called today and i told her i made almost $3000 in the past week and a half in 4 B&M sessions (yes i'm bragging, in case you care to get annoyed with me). this is a lot more than i've told her i've won in such a short time before, so instead of being happy about it, she just seemed really worried about me getting addicted. i told her i was gonna bring home ipods for my 2 brothers for christmas which seemed to make her a bit happier about it, but i doubt she'll stop worrying any time soon, especially if i keep telling her that i'm winning more and more, which i hopefully will.

i think my dad must have "bragged" to someone about what i've been doing somewhat recently because when i saw him a month or two ago he asked me if the poker sites are paying me, because he'd heard from someone that the stupid internet sites take your money in gladly but they don't pay out if you win. (that was an awesome run-on sentence.) of course i explained to him that i've cashed out a lot of money already and that i wouldn't ever consider putting money into a site that i consider the slightest bit risky.

my goal is to get through school, keeping up my grades, and without taking any loans or money from my parents (and while continuing to live very comfortably). i think if i can do that, my parents will understand that poker is a good thing for me.

[lacky]

[ QUOTE ]
All my friends parents are awaiting the day i run into 'the bigger fish' by that they mean the player that is going to bust me. So in their imagination my whole br is going to somehow get onto the table and they probably imagine it to all be played out in one hand.

[/ QUOTE ]

Course they are, they saw Rounders. That means it happened in 100% of the poker movies they've ever seen. Hell, even kinish said everyone goes bust from time to time, and he's been grinding it out for years!

Thats the sum total perspective and experience of most people.

Steve

[ojsdaman]

they dont believe for a second i am profiting
in fact
they think i am loosing my life

[iNsChris]

They say i'm going to get addicted, When i say "i wont i will play with small money,if i loose it i wont put any on for awhile" they say "well thats what the addicts used to say".

So then i say "but i dont smoke, Drink, waste cash on anything.. This is fun"

"Well soon as you start loosing dont get addicted".

then something like "blah blah blah, blab blah blah blah!"
and maybe another blah followed by a "Oh no my son is going to go bankcrupt" look.

It goes down well at the dinner table.

[Schneids]

My parents do not view it any differently than over the summer when I played semi-full time; which is to say they don't particularly like me playing.

I think now their main problem is they view it as me "wasting away my potential in life," since I think it's pretty clear to both them and myself that at least for the next couple of years, poker is probably going to remain my source of income and job.

[Schneids]

I think my dad has started to really "get it" though that I'm not going to lose every cent I have or control over the rest of my life.

Poker used to be a taboo topic in my house, but now quite often he asks me how it is going...a nice change from feeling like I could not even utter a word about it without getting frowned upon.

It was reassuring when one-time I told him I was down quite a few thousand the past couple of days and he responded, "You're not letting it get to you in the rest of your life, right? You'll win it back."

[Fabian]

My story is similiar to many others here.

When I first started to play my parents didn't like it very much, especially not my mom. Eventually she stopped protesting, but she was still worried about it since I was underage (turned 18 a few months ago). But I had a poker talk with her a few weeks ago where I told her how much I had won and explained the basics of bankroll management and variance, and I think it has calmed her down quite a bit.

[jedi]

[ QUOTE ]
My family, we are all conservative Christians who adhere to the Bible strictly. Although the Bible says nothing against poker (it encourages investing in a few places), my father simply considers it pure gambling and being irresponsible and wont allow me to speak about it in front of him, lol. My mother is not thrilled, but has no problem with it. My other siblings are fine with it. I've found in talking to other conservative Christians that under scrutiny, you really can defend it as a legitimate investment opportunity, much like stocks and (I was told) day trading.


[/ QUOTE ]

My family is in the same boat. Gambling is defintely a big vice although they preach against gambling more from an -EV standpoint than from a Biblical standpoint.

That having been said, poker is a different monster. The first question my Dad asked me when I told him I was playing poker was "Is there any skill involved?" Bingo. He's an engineer so I was able to explain some of the math involved. I think he gets it now.

[Perseus]

Yeah, my dad's an IT person so once he understood there was skill involved, and probability, he went from understanding to excited.

[Boltsfan1992]

Hiya -

My wife has determined that she's a poker widow, but not with the negative connotations that being a poker widow brings. She likes the fact that I play - win or lose - she'll sit through a "bad beat story (wouldn't ever share that here)" and is very encouraging. She wants me to play the tournaments on televsion (to which I just go, "yeah right"). Anyway, she is supportive because I have been completely open and honest with her. She has access to my Pokertracker stats and knows how much up (or as is the case right now) or down I am. She knows the odds, in fact, when I complain she is the first to say, "Just because something is 22:1...there is still a chance they will make that hand. Just shut up and deal with it....or play Boggle."

My parents bought me a poker table for my birthday...so I guess they're okay that I play for money.

Her parents, well...they don't know...my sisters and brother in laws I just told last night. (Then they proceed to tell me that their high school and college aged kids are playing, live and online, except my nephew who is too cheap to buy in for money, but will pay for prizes...I guess Poker is big right now...)

I'm lucky...now if I could get my cards to match, that would be a good thing. /images/graemlins/wink.gif

PB

[sfer]

I don't care.

[STLantny]

Im catholic, Im Italian, if i didnt play poker I'd be the outcast. Its my dad an uncles who taught me how to play when I was young.

[Megenoita]

[ QUOTE ]
Im catholic, Im Italian, if i didnt play poker I'd be the outcast. Its my dad an uncles who taught me how to play when I was young.

[/ QUOTE ]

Hahaha...the only thing my Italian blood does for me is help me put holes in the wall when my aces full gets cracked by quad 2's.

[mosch]

My friends and family get it.

I did Thanksgiving with my girlfriends extended family, and I got far more questions about my poker playing than about every other aspect of my life combined.

[SmileyEH]

I think my mom doesn't really understand how little luck there is involved (long run anyway) with poker, and up until recently she kept telling me not to get "over my head". I've only been serious since the start of school this year and my biweekly updates about poker have mainly pacified my parents.

A sick pleasure I have is actually telling my parents when I'm on a big downsing just to prove to them how little the swings can affect me anymore. My dad is big into investing (he began his career late and thus has to aquire wealth very quickly for his retirement), and that is the justification I usually argue. To me there is no difference in buying a stock and buying into a poker game - risk/reward, expectation, variance--its all there and I think my father can understand that.

Also, the fact that I've got half of next semester's tuition in the bank is probably a big plus as well /images/graemlins/smile.gif.

-SmileyEH

[Sponger15SB]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
well, ever since I started playing poker my grades have done down the shitter.

[/ QUOTE ]

Same here and that is the main reason my parents aren't a big fan of it.

[/ QUOTE ]

Add my name to this list.

First 3 semesters of college = 3.0 GPA

Last 2 = 2.0

[Art Vandelay]

I was turned onto poker by my brother 5 years ago (I'm 28 and he's the youngest in the fam at 26) and now we've expanded to where my dad and sister also play. My family is a gaming/gambling type family so it's really cool for us. I'm sure we'll play at home over the holidays when everyone comes into town.

Granted I play as a supplemental income to my job, but if I were making good money I don't think anyone in my family would object if I did it for a living (not planning on crossing that bridge anytime soon though). It's nice in that it gives us something to do and discuss and we're pretty competitive so we've all tried to improve our game and win the family title.

I really feel for people whose family disapprove so vehemently. That's a tough road and I'm really thankful my family is so cool when it comes to poker.

[Gravy (Gravy Smoothie)]

My parents know my bankroll is profit, and they know that I still have a life, and so they are fine with it. I think it still bugs my mom just a little, but as my dad said when I called him upstairs to show him my monster-killing straight flush against my opponent's A-high flush, "take those sons of bitches for every cent they have."

[Mobed]

My wife is slightly nervous about it (I just started). In the middle of a 10+1 tournament, she started talking about drama at work, I said "Come on honey? I'm playin poker. Can we talk about this some other time?"....that didn't help the situation.

[HesseJam]

I had/have a big problem with this. My father's family line always has been big in gambling with

my father being the biggest gambler of them all. His life is more than less ruined by it.

I am now 40+ and always liked playing cards for money and horses but only for entertainment.

I was always interested in odds and mathematics and statistics of gambling. I learned card

counting in Black Jack but decided it is a waste of time and my energy spent is rewarded

better somewhere else.

However, I almost never went into the casino until a year ago when I started gambling on

slots (I knew they could not be beaten). I didn't tell my wife. I lost 10 grands over the

course of 6 months and pulled the safety line, told my wife and sought counselling.

Counselling found out that I did that because of my father, to feel how it is when you are a

looser, to avenge him, etc., etc.

During this episode, I played Holdem in an Austrian casino and was immediately intrigued.

After the counselling I investigated a bit on the Internet about Holdem and decided that I

will give it a shot. After a month of playing secretly I decided to tell my wife about it.

There were a couple of threads about that issue maybe three weeks ago and they were

extremely helpful for me.

Well, my wife was scared to death. But I put my foot down and told her that this will be my

hobby whenever she watches tv or goes out with girlfriends. I put in only 200$ and cashed

that money out again which left me with 500$ of winnings. I promised to never put in money

again and she has access to my bank and poker accounts to monitor if she wants to. I am now

up to $1000 playing only 0.5/1. She still does not really approve of it but she is getting

used to more and more. Yesterday, she asked the first time how I was doing in poker. A nice

change from "you're going broke like your father, you will gamble away all our money like

your father, etc. etc.

The rest of my family does not know yet but I will tell them as soon as I have my wife

convinced. This is going to be tough but there is no way around it.

[1800GAMBLER]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

My parents are fine with it. It was pretty tough when i dropped out of university though, eventually they were supportive.

[/ QUOTE ]
You dropped out of school to play poker?!?

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes.

[johnnybeef]

even though ive pulled in about 7k this month alone, my parents hate it. this probably has a lot to do with the fact that my brother lives at their house and plays about 12 hrs a day online and barely breaks even

[stripsqueez]

my great grandfather was a very successful bookmaker in london as was his son so my blood family seem to think its not so unusual

when pushed she who must be obeyed still refers to it as a "quasi criminal activity" but she isnt troubled cashing the cheques so generally remains silent and a bit grumpy (which is typical)

some of my freinds told me i was mad when i stopped working in a well paid professional job to play poker full time for a while - now that i've been doing it a while and dont appear to have lost all moral centre they generally think its fine

for many years i have been an addicted bridge player - most people think thats a bizarre thing for a youngish man to do - i found the best way to handle that was to simply not talk about it unless someone asked

stripsqueez - chickenhawk

[FUpaymee]

I'm 20 and a sophomore in college, and my family started out sort of skeptical. Then last summer I got in a large weekly home game and was bringing home $200-$300 each week, so they kind of backed off. My dad actually didn't need much convincing...in fact he's offered to stake me at the WSOP hahaha. My mom has been harder to convince but she's really come around, since my bank statements come to my parents' house and she sees these huge deposits from Firepay going into my account every week. She even bought me a set of Chipco's for Christmas.

[BradL]

Buy her something really nice that you never could afford without poker. I'm still a college student (therefore there is a lot that I otherwise couldn't afford) and thats what I do whenever my girlfriend used to get upset about the amount of time I play poker. Needless to say she doesnt get upset often anymore (though I suppose if she was really thinking about it she would get upset MORE often to get more stuff).

-Brad

[BradL]

[ QUOTE ]
in their imagination my whole br is going to somehow get onto the table and they probably imagine it to all be played out in one hand.

[/ QUOTE ]

blame rounders. everybody's mother loves matt damon.

[sk8rdude12000]

my mom understands its more of a social thing for me but my dad is starting to be dumb about it. saying its getting to be a problem but i dont think im even close to that stage