choose your own adventure: dr. klopek

[dr. klopek]

I need you to make a decision for me.

I am going to quit smoking on christmas. Starting the morning of the 24th, I will no longer smoke. I decided on this date because I will be in a situation in which smoking is easily avoidable. I have wanted to do this for a while and settled on doing it then.

Problem is, I sometimes lose my focus when I do these things (not a cop-out or a disclaimer, just the truth). So I have been trying to figure out an incentive plan. I think I have a good one: the ball-swear.

This would be an agreement between myself and 1-several of my friends whereby, should I ever be caught smoking by one of them, I would be contractually obligated to submit to ballkicks from all parties.

So, it is up to you to decide. I want to quit smoking real bad, bad enough not to need this, but I think I need insurance. On the other hand, I would have them do it on camera so that I could make it my avatar. Please do not let this influence your decision.

[Lazymeatball]

Your balls are much more important than your lungs. Where are your priorites?

Let thim give you a charlie horse or something.

[namknils]

I say do the ball-swear but make it permissable to wear a cup.

[dr. klopek]

Are you joking? This is smoking we're talking about. I would take a charlie-horse and a ballkick with a cup right now for a cigarette. And I just smoked one 5 minutes ago.

[jakethebake]

What's the big deal? If you're really worried about this then you obviously have no real intention to quit smoking. Swear the swear and quit. End of story.

[Alobar]

I voted yes, but only because I want to see a .mpg of you getting kicked in the nads /images/graemlins/smile.gif

seriously tho, no [censored] way in hell would i want to get kicked in the balls. So unless you REALLY can quit then I wouldnt do it.

[BusterStacks]

you guys and your quitting smoking. you sound liek a bunch of fags. Am I really going to be the only one left smoking when I go over there? You'll be back to mother nicotine, just wait. On a side note, I plan to smoke tons of cigarettes throughout the winter.

[deacsoft]

[ QUOTE ]
Am I really going to be the only one left smoking when I go over there?

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm with you! /images/graemlins/smile.gif

[deacsoft]

Doc, baby, listen o me here. If you need that kind of incentive or insurance to quit smoking it's not going to happen. You'll only find new and improved ways to hide it from te obligated ball-kickers. As funny as I think it would be to have a ball shot (no pun intended) as your avatar I voted no. My advice is to quit smoking on your own when you feel ready to. Don't force it. I've seen tons of people try and they fail every time. The ones that make it are the ones that just quit and tell no one. They are the ones who don't need to look to others for support of any kind. They have the will. And, plus, by not telling anyone they quit they don't get those assholes waving lit cigs in their faces just to tease them. Just quit when you're ready to.

[ThaSaltCracka]

this is the worst choose your own adventure, ever.

[SomethingClever]

Why don't you just downgrade it to a facepunch from everyone?

When you're a huge baller, you still want to be able to bang supermodels, don't you?

Don't go for the ballkicks. Facepunch is the way to go.

[ThaSaltCracka]

face punch would hurt hella bad. I would say, let them open hand flap you on the face. It both stings and is demeaning.

[SomethingClever]

[ QUOTE ]
face punch would hurt hella bad. I would say, let them open hand flap you on the face. It both stings and is demeaning.

[/ QUOTE ]

There you go. Even better.

Getting bitchslapped for smoking would be both hilarious and educational.

[ThaSaltCracka]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
face punch would hurt hella bad. I would say, let them open hand flap you on the face. It both stings and is demeaning.

[/ QUOTE ]

There you go. Even better.

Getting bitchslapped for smoking would be both hilarious and educational.

[/ QUOTE ] so embarrasing too, plus atleast this way his balls are safe. Thats very important.

[elwoodblues]

bitchslap must be in public with slapee wearing a sign explaining why he's being slapped. That would work wonderfully.

Please film and post pictures of all bitchslaps/ballkicks

[ThaSaltCracka]

I concur.

IT IS SETTLED!

[Rick Diesel]

i voted no. Nobody should ever mess with the family jewels like that. i have a friend from high school that I played baseball with who didn't want to wear a cup, and now he can not have children. YOUR BALLS ARE NOT WORTH MESSING WITH!

I would just go with a punch to the face, rather than the kick to the nuts.

Good luck quitting!

Rick Diesel

[Diplomat]

Smoking is Kool, right?

-Diplomat

[Piz0wn0reD!!!!!!]

The risk-reward ratio is out of whack here.....

Ballkicks are extremely sucky.

Smoking rules big time.

You, learn science.

[Non_Comformist]

Christ man what are you [censored] nuts? Because you won't have any afer this little experiment.

[dr. klopek]

OK look, the importance of my balls is whe whole point. In 10 months, after I haven't smoked and all is well, I want it to stay that way. Over time I may have many reasons to smoke again, this is a permanent and very good reason not to.

Buster and piz0wnor3d, You do know that I will request that both of you partake in this agreement right? But you have to have the balls to kick me in the nuts.

[Non_Comformist]

You are not allowed to post anything until you put up part three of the Vegas trip report.

[dr. klopek]

BIGGER SAMPLE-SIZE!!!!!!!!!

[Sponger15SB]

[ QUOTE ]
you guys and your quitting smoking. you sound liek a bunch of fags. Am I really going to be the only one left smoking when I go over there? You'll be back to mother nicotine, just wait. On a side note, I plan to smoke tons of cigarettes throughout the winter.

[/ QUOTE ]

lol nice post.

[SomethingClever]

[ QUOTE ]
OK look, the importance of my balls is whe whole point. In 10 months, after I haven't smoked and all is well, I want it to stay that way. Over time I may have many reasons to smoke again, this is a permanent and very good reason not to.

Buster and piz0wnor3d, You do know that I will request that both of you partake in this agreement right? But you have to have the balls to kick me in the nuts.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm telling you man... go with bitchslaps.

I will bitchslap you if you don't go with bitchslaps, how's that?