are you a folder or a buncher?

[daryn]

this refers ass wiping style

[CrazyEyez]

Folder. But I have mild to moderate OCD.

[ArchAngel71857]

The correct question is do you look or not after you wipe?

Do you look before you flush?

Do you dump on your lover's chest and does she/he like it?

-AA

[Alobar]

I wish I could remember the website, but some guy did a study on this for his thesis. Was quiet interesting. There was several different options on his poll tho. Do you fold or bunch? Do you wipe standing or sitting? Do you look at the paper after you wipe? and do you fold over and rewipe or do you get a new peice?

[PhatTBoll]

[ QUOTE ]
The correct question is do you look or not after you wipe?

[/ QUOTE ]
How else do you know when you're done?


[ QUOTE ]
Do you look before you flush?

[/ QUOTE ]
Nothing wrong with admiring your work.


[ QUOTE ]
Do you dump on your lover's chest and does she/he like it?

[/ QUOTE ]
If I'm going to all that trouble, he/she better like it.

[ThaSaltCracka]

the fold is clearly the best manuever, you are less likely to get corners of TP sticking to your ass.

[Edge34]

The fold gives you maximum working area with minimal usage. Clearly the proper play is to fold in this spot, and its not even close.

-Edge

[Justin A]

Folding takes too much time. The bunch is clearly the play for those of us who are somewhat lazy.

Justin A

[ThaSaltCracka]

have you ever folded?

[Justin A]

[ QUOTE ]
have you ever folded?

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes. And I do admit it has its benefits. I think crumpling is better, but it is close.

Justin A

[ThaSaltCracka]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
have you ever folded?

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes. And I do admit it has its benefits. I think crumpling is better, but it is close.

Justin A

[/ QUOTE ]other than time, what possible benefits do you get from the crumple? I mean, rarely when I drop a duece am I concerned about time.

[Justin A]

[ QUOTE ]


other than time, what possible benefits do you get from the crumple? I mean, rarely when I drop a duece am I concerned about time.


[/ QUOTE ]

I don't see any inherent advantage in folding. I think it actually gives you a smaller surface area to grip, and increases chance of making some unfortunate contact.

Folding saves toilet paper, but who cares? The saved time is just a bonus that comes with crumpling.

Justin A

[ThaSaltCracka]

sometimes when you bunch, you get some weak pockets that tear easily or aren't as thick as they should be. Also, the surface area is akwardly shaped. Folding gives you a nice rectangle.

[Justin A]

[ QUOTE ]
sometimes when you bunch, you get some weak pockets that tear easily or aren't as thick as they should be. Also, the surface area is akwardly shaped. Folding gives you a nice rectangle.

[/ QUOTE ]

Those are only problems if you are stingy with the amount toilet paper you use when you bunch.

Justin A

[ThaSaltCracka]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
sometimes when you bunch, you get some weak pockets that tear easily or aren't as thick as they should be. Also, the surface area is akwardly shaped. Folding gives you a nice rectangle.

[/ QUOTE ]

Those are only problems if you are stingy with the amount toilet paper you use when you bunch.

Justin A

[/ QUOTE ]If you use to much, clogging may happen. Clearly bunching has a number of risks that folding just doesn't have.

[Justin A]

[ QUOTE ]
If you use to much, clogging may happen. Clearly bunching has a number of risks that folding just doesn't have.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm assuming you're talking about clogging the toilet, in which case you bring up a good point. I think the very low frequency of extra clogging caused by extra toilet paper is not enough to make bunching a bad idea. That being said, you've definitely made me rethink my stance, and I will be testing the pros and cons of both in the next week.

There won't be any updates in case any of you sickos were wondering.

Justin A

[PhatTBoll]

[ QUOTE ]
If you use to much, clogging may happen. Clearly bunching has a number of risks that folding just doesn't have.

[/ QUOTE ]

First of all, get a toilet that isn't a weak piece of garbage.

Second of all, the bunch's benefits come into play when you are faced with a dangler. If you use the fold on a dangler, what do you get? An anal region covered with deuce. The bunch, however, has many folds and crevices, increasing the friction, or grip, that your wiping apparatus has on the dangler. This increases the likelihood that the entire dangler will be captured by the TP. And truly, in life, there is no greater accomplishment than that.

[TimM]

I bunch.

I look at the paper.

I sometimes flush before and after wipe.

I wet the paper when I'm in a bathroom with easy sink access, for maximum removal.

[Michael Davis]

I hate it when I get poop on my hand.

-Michael

[Chah Ngo]

[ QUOTE ]
Folding gives you a nice rectangle.

[/ QUOTE ]
I am certain that rectum and rectangle have the same root.

[ThaSaltCracka]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Folding gives you a nice rectangle.

[/ QUOTE ]
I am certain that rectum and rectangle have the same root.

[/ QUOTE ]Brilliant!

[SlyAK]

This poll needs the option "I don't wipe".

[LondonBroil]

Bunching is clearly the best move. Do you see why?

[AncientPC]

[ QUOTE ]
The fold gives you maximum working area with minimal usage. Clearly the proper play is to fold in this spot, and its not even close.

-Edge

[/ QUOTE ]

[nothumb]

[ QUOTE ]


If you use to much, clogging may happen.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ahhh, much to learn you have. Courtesy flush you must, mmmmm.

NT

[daryn]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In risposta di:</font><hr />
Bunching is clearly the best move. Do you see why?

[/ QUOTE ]

no, i don't.

[Justin A]

[ QUOTE ]
Bunching is clearly the best move. Do you see why?


[/ QUOTE ]

I don't get it. I'm a buncher and I still don't understand your post.

Justin A

[Cyrus]

....they are on the phone already, leasing this forum to the Smithsonian.

[nothumb]

What I like about this poll, daryn, is that you were in such a desperate hurry to post it you couldn't even make it a real sentence... 'this refers ass wiping...' like some overexcited asian parents of a model on TV berating some yokel for stinking up their living room...

NT

[daryn]

yes. yes it is.

[Rick Nebiolo]

I didn't even know there was such a thing as a "buncher". /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

~ Rick

[mistrpug]

You can't win if you fold.

[A_C_Slater]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
The correct question is do you look or not after you wipe?

[/ QUOTE ]
How else do you know when you're done?


[ QUOTE ]
Do you look before you flush?

[/ QUOTE ]
Nothing wrong with admiring your work.


[ QUOTE ]
Do you dump on your lover's chest and does she/he like it?

[/ QUOTE ]
If I'm going to all that trouble, he/she better like it.

[/ QUOTE ]

I can't believe no one responded to this yet. Funniest post. Ever.

[A_C_Slater]

[ QUOTE ]
You can't win if you fold.

[/ QUOTE ]

I disagree. I feel that folding is the key to victory.

[A_C_Slater]

[ QUOTE ]
This poll needs the option "I don't wipe".

[/ QUOTE ]

Ummmmm.... Yeah... Ahem. /images/graemlins/blush.gif

[bosoxfan]

[ QUOTE ]
Second of all, the bunch's benefits come into play when you are faced with a dangler. If you use the fold on a dangler, what do you get? An anal region covered with deuce. The bunch, however, has many folds and crevices, increasing the friction, or grip, that your wiping apparatus has on the dangler. This increases the likelihood that the entire dangler will be captured by the TP. And truly, in life, there is no greater accomplishment than that.

[/ QUOTE ]

I used to be a folder but this post has enlightened me. I am a changed man!!!

[A_C_Slater]

Does folding in this situation have positive expected value? I am a buncher and I feel that bunching saves time. And we all know the saying "time is money." But maybe I'm missing out on a small edge by not folding. Can anyone convince me that by folding I am getting the best of it?

[mistrpug]

[ QUOTE ]
I wet the paper when I'm in a bathroom with easy sink access, for maximum removal.

[/ QUOTE ]


What do you need a sink for? There's a whole bowl of liquid right below you.

[YourFoxyGrandma]

I used to bunch. Now I fold. I'm never going back.

[ThaSaltCracka]

[ QUOTE ]
I used to bunch. Now I fold. I'm never going back.

[/ QUOTE ]seriously, who fuc[/b]ling bunches, wtf!!!!

[Topflight]

When you guys fold, do you actually tear of a piece and then fold it.

My method is the king of all. The roll cannot be on the little holder. You hold the roll in one hand and grab then end of the paper with the other.

From there you rotate your hands as quickly as possible in a bike pedaling motion.

This wraps the paper around one of your hands. You can now slide this paper off and it is prefolded in a perfect cushiony rectangle.

I challenge any folder to a race. I can create perfect cushiony rectangles at blazing speeds this way.

--------------

I cannot even comprehend bunching the paper. It seems like after you wipe, the crazy wad of paper is free to spring about in whatever direction it wants. You must get poo all over your as$ like this.

It also seems harder to guage how much poo is left by bunching. With a rectangle cushion you can get a very close estimate about how many more wipes it is going to take.

[mistrpug]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I used to bunch. Now I fold. I'm never going back.

[/ QUOTE ]seriously, who fuc[/b]ling bunches, wtf!!!!

[/ QUOTE ]

Salt, you're not my favorite poster anymore.

[Edge34]

Hey AC,

A good folder can do it in only slightly more time than a buncher. The bunch, while quick, is unwieldy and not symmetrically pleasing.

The fold presents a much more standard surface area for the task at, er, hand. The last thing we want is the potential for hand-to-[censored] contact.

Proper technique for maximized EV: 4 squares of 2-ply, folded over twice. Should take no more than 2 attempts.

Someone said you can't win by folding, but you're losing a lot of EV if you aren't folding as much as you should.

-Edge

[A_C_Slater]

[ QUOTE ]
When you guys fold, do you actually tear of a piece and then fold it.

My method is the king of all. The roll cannot be on the little holder. You hold the roll in one hand and grab then end of the paper with the other.

From there you rotate your hands as quickly as possible in a bike pedaling motion.

This wraps the paper around one of your hands. You can now slide this paper off and it is prefolded in a perfect cushiony rectangle.

I challenge any folder to a race. I can create perfect cushiony rectangles at blazing speeds this way.

--------------

I cannot even comprehend bunching the paper. It seems like after you wipe, the crazy wad of paper is free to spring about in whatever direction it wants. You must get poo all over your as$ like this.

It also seems harder to guage how much poo is left by bunching. With a rectangle cushion you can get a very close estimate about how many more wipes it is going to take.

[/ QUOTE ]


Hmmmm... You make a compelling argument. If I've been wrong about about how to properly wipe my ass after all these years, then I have to face the unthinkable possibility that I've been wrong regarding everything I have ever believed in. /images/graemlins/confused.gif

[OrangeHeat]

You are a wise man.

Bunching is clearly the best technique for the hangers.

However in normal drop and plop circumstances folding has to be the way to go.

Orange

[daryn]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In risposta di:</font><hr />
When you guys fold, do you actually tear of a piece and then fold it.

My method is the king of all. The roll cannot be on the little holder. You hold the roll in one hand and grab then end of the paper with the other.

From there you rotate your hands as quickly as possible in a bike pedaling motion.

This wraps the paper around one of your hands. You can now slide this paper off and it is prefolded in a perfect cushiony rectangle.

I challenge any folder to a race. I can create perfect cushiony rectangles at blazing speeds this way.

--------------

I cannot even comprehend bunching the paper. It seems like after you wipe, the crazy wad of paper is free to spring about in whatever direction it wants. You must get poo all over your as$ like this.

It also seems harder to guage how much poo is left by bunching. With a rectangle cushion you can get a very close estimate about how many more wipes it is going to take.

[/ QUOTE ]


yeah, i use your method exactly when the roll is off the spool or whatever.

[jakethebake]

Looked through all my poker books. Lots of instances of "folding" but nothing on "bunching". Did you get that from "Play Poker Like the Pros"? That piece of crap.

[mistrpug]

[ QUOTE ]
Looked through all my poker books. Lots of instances of "folding" but nothing on "bunching". Did you get that from "Play Poker Like the Pros"? That piece of crap.

[/ QUOTE ]

Play Poker Like the Pros was the first poker book I ever bought. I didn't know any better. I have since bunched each page one by one as needed.

[daryn]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In risposta di:</font><hr />
Looked through all my poker books. Lots of instances of "folding" but nothing on "bunching". Did you get that from "Play Poker Like the Pros"? That piece of crap.

[/ QUOTE ]


actually some morons do talk about bunching, when they are talking about the effect that somehow late position players are more likely to have aces and kings and stuff.

[Jezebel]

This thread has got me thinking. Both techniques have advantages and a combination of both would be the ultimate answer.

I'm envisioning a technique where the wiper wraps his hand in TP forming a protective barrier between the hand and fecal matter. This wrap would be several wraps thick, much like a catchers mit. This provides the protection afforded by folding. However, as we know while folding does offer better protection it still is inferior to bunching when we analyze the slip differential between the two techniques. Folding just doesn't have the gripping power and can lose traction in the heat of battle.

This brings us to the second step in our prototype. The bunch. After wrapping the hand the folder then takes the tail of the TP and forms a large bunch in the center of our catchers mit. THis bunch when completed correctly should look like a large head of cauliflower. Now the bunch not only offers increased protection of the palm area of the hand, but also increases the slip coefficient and allows for superior cleaning power.

[ThaSaltCracka]

the clogging potetial is far to great.

[Jezebel]

[ QUOTE ]
the clogging potetial is far to great.

[/ QUOTE ]

Actually, I have some experience in this area since I own one of those water efficient crappers that use only a quart of water per flush. These are known to clog if your piss is too yellow.

one way to prevent clogging is to allow the bunch to fall into the bowl and then flush. Now as the TP starts to go down the drain you allow the wrap to spiral off of your hand. This prevents clogs since we no longer are trying to get too much paper through such a narrow opening. Courtesy flushes also help in this area.

[deacsoft]

This thread is hilarious!

I must admit that I'm a buncher. I feel it goes against my personality. I am a clean freak and very well organized. When in the bathroom I like to get in there, do what I came to do, and get out. So, I think I bunch to save time. For me I guess it's all about efficiency.

[dr. klopek]

A latex glove and 3 squares of TP.

[Justin A]

[ QUOTE ]
actually some morons do talk about bunching, when they are talking about the effect that somehow late position players are more likely to have aces and kings and stuff.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm pretty sure this concept is what makes Tom McEvoy so good at poker.

Justin A

[PhatTBoll]

[ QUOTE ]
This thread has got me thinking. Both techniques have advantages and a combination of both would be the ultimate answer.

I'm envisioning a technique where the wiper wraps his hand in TP forming a protective barrier between the hand and fecal matter. This wrap would be several wraps thick, much like a catchers mit. This provides the protection afforded by folding. However, as we know while folding does offer better protection it still is inferior to bunching when we analyze the slip differential between the two techniques. Folding just doesn't have the gripping power and can lose traction in the heat of battle.

This brings us to the second step in our prototype. The bunch. After wrapping the hand the folder then takes the tail of the TP and forms a large bunch in the center of our catchers mit. THis bunch when completed correctly should look like a large head of cauliflower. Now the bunch not only offers increased protection of the palm area of the hand, but also increases the slip coefficient and allows for superior cleaning power.

[/ QUOTE ]

I see you also take a clinical, logical approach to ass-wiping. I admire your style and innovative nature.

This may be my favorite thread ever.