why can't i properly manage my bankroll?

[erfinator]

*sigh*
I made the final table of two pokerstars tournaments last week, building my bankroll from $2,000 to $5,000 in the process. Then, I moved up limits from 3-6 to 5-10, and did fairly well there, building it up to $6,000. From there, things went downhill. I was multi-tabling 5-10 and 10-20, and I couldn't seem to win a pot. Instead of exercising some sort of discretion and moving down limits, I decided to recoup my losses immediately and (let the badgering begin) play 30-60 short-handed and heads up. Needless to say, I lost my entire bankroll that night and now
I'm left with nothing. I'm a college student, so fortunately I don't have too many expenses, but it disgusts me that I've thrown away $6,000. That's more money than I've ever dealt with... period. I've ruined my
bankroll like this before (though not to such an extreme degree), but I've always built it back up. This time, though, I know it's going to be much tougher since I grew accustomed to the 5-10 game, and moving to 2-4 or 1-2
would be a very humbling and somewhat boring experience for me. My problem has never been playing the game; it has been managing my money. I have too much difficulty accepting the natural fluctuations of the game,and I invest too much importance in recouping my losses immediately.
These are all obvious indications of compulsive gambling, which scares me a lot. I've decided to take a break from online poker and I've had my pokerstars account temporarily suspended. This isn't meant to be a cry for pity; I'm just wondering if someone here could give me advice on how
to avoid these self-destructive fits and to manage and preserve my bankroll. Or... maybe poker isn't for me?

[DalaiLama]

Discipline is the key. How long have you been playing? The two good multi finishes likely boosted your confidence higher than your ability. I would take some time off. You need to make an honest self assessment. Know your strengths and weaknesses, and use the knowledge to your advantage.

[Rushmore]

You know the way you feel right now? Disappointed, discouraged, disgusted, angry, and confused?

Get used to it, because you're going to feel this way for the rest of your life.

If you would prefer not to feel this way for the rest of your life, try the following:

Don't ever permit yourself to say that you are "bored" playing poker again. Who cares? You play poker to win money, not to feel excited or satisfy some need to feel like you're something you're not. You want "bored?" Try an office JOB. Any office JOB.

I have had the exact same problem you describe. You know when I fixed it? When I quit my JOB, and began to play poker to pay the bills and feed myself. All of a sudden, I wasn't so cavalier about my bankroll. All of a sudden, my ego wasn't involved. All of a sudden, I passed on the Stars $100/$200 game, and multitabled Party $15/$30. No more UB $25/$50 NL--it's time for two $5/$10 NL tables instead.

I don't usually respond to this sort of post, but I can tell you're sincere about this, and I definitely have been where you are.

It's simple: You have to learn to respect your bankroll. You can justify going bust because Joey Knish says everyone goes bust, or because T.J says it in his book, or because you heard many "pros" are bust, or else you can resolve not to go bust.

There's only two things you have to do to avoid going bust. Play well, and play within your bankroll.

There is PLENTY of information here on bankroll requirement. Use it.

Or get used to this feeling.

[Fitz]

Rushmore gave you some excellent advice in his post below; I would suggest you read it, re-read it, print it and keep it in sight for any future sessions. I would add a couple of things. For our purposes, I'm going to assume this was an error in judjment and it is not a compulsive gambling issue. If you really think it is a compulsive gambling problem get some help right away.

Most of us who have played for any length of time have done something similar. This doesn't excuse it, but it does show you are not alone. We either learn to control it, or we eventually bust out and have to leave the game. My most sickening bust out was similar to yours. I was bonus whoring one of the casinos. I had met my requirements, and I was just fooling around. I hit a couple of big hands at let it ride, and I had almost $7000 from a $200 start. I went starry eyed, and after a session of $500 a hand blackjack, I was down to a $1000 bucks. I cashed out, but I was sick for days. I still get queasy when I think about it.

I don't play professionally, but I approach poker as a business. My bankroll is my lifeline; I have to protect it at all costs. Also, you have to accept the concept that it is all one long poker session. This is easier if you keep proper records and know you are beating the game. Over almost 4000 hours of online play, I am beating the game for between 2 and 3 BB's per hour(multi-tableing on Party). If I dig a 100 BB hole, I know I'll work my way out eventually. You have to fight the urge to break one of the cardinal rules of gambling: NEVER RAISE YOUR BETS WHEN LOSING!!! Over and over again people much smarter than you and I have proven this doesn't work.

I love to play MTT's too. A high placed big money finish is a great feeling. It can cause two problems. First, it can make us think we are much better players than we really are, and two, the adrenaline can really start pumping and make us do things we might never consider otherwise. I suspect this is part of what happened to you.

Taking a break is a good idea. Relax and think about why you play the game, MONEY. It's fun, and we enjoy it, but the bottom line is the bottom line. When I finally understood this, it helped my game tremendously. Never forget how you felt when you flushed you bankroll. When you rebuild it, protect it at all costs. It's all that stands between you and the rail.

Good luck,

Fitz

[drewjustdrew]

That story almost makes me feel better about my $7000 christmas day last year. Why my results aren't as bad? I made better choices:
1. Did not play extemely bad, but was extremely unlucky and played a little bad.
2. Did not play outside my bankroll. Lost it playing 30-60.
3. Therefore, did not destroy my bankroll. Still had enough to play 10-20 comfortably and get it back up to where it was previously.

I have always tried to manage my money wisely. Every once in a long while, I do go on a major tilt though. Only happened once this year, and only for $2000. Again taking a shot at 30-60. If I never played that game I would have a lot more money. Maybe there's a lesson there...

[zaxx19]

You say you never had problems with "playing the game", but that begs a ?? doesnt it. If managing limits and which games are profitable arent considered part of "playing the game" to you there is a serious problem.

[schroedy]

I don't exactly know how to put this . . . .

The reason you can't manage your bankroll . . . is because you are young.

Whether poker players or civil servants, many people have to go broke, often more than once, before they understand the nature of risk, and risk of going broke in particular.

Somehow, it just doesn't seem "worth it" unless there is a risk of ruin, does it? Count on this, however, the casinos never allow the players to bet so much that the casinos risk ruin. If you ran your poker business like a casino runs their business, you would need something like a $10,000 bankroll to play $.50/$1 poker. Virtually every poker player I know is playing over their bankroll. Especially the young ones.

[deacsoft]

[ QUOTE ]

Instead of exercising some sort of discretion and moving down limits, I decided to recoup my losses immediately and...

[/ QUOTE ]

Looks like you've answered your own question.

[TPR]

You have to learn to protect yourself from yourself. It takes discipline and remember that most people have to learn the hard way and some people never learn. When you have a good run, like when you went from 2k to 7k, you should have immediately gone to the cashier and withdrawn $5,000. It usually takes a few days to get your money, depending on the method. This gives you time to realize that it was a positive fluctuation, and not the fact that you are a great player and should be playing much higher. The money is no longer in your account and available to be used. Somehow, either by check or cash, get the money in your hands and out of an easily accessable account, where it could be put back into your poker account. When I started doing this, I quit losing good sized wins.

[johnnybeef]

there is no get rich quick answer to your problem. If you can beat the 5 10 game at a consistant level you obvioulsly have some discipline. Use it in your bankroll management. One final note: Take this experience and learn from it.

good luck
johnny