Morons at Gas Stations.

[BeerMoney]

Among the worlds stupid people, where do people who smoke cigarettes at gas stations rank?

Yesterday I was at a gas station, and some bozo took his lit cigarette and laid it down outside of the minimart, right near were the mini-mart. I wanted to go over and step on it, but I didn't have the balls. I think this is something people should be arrested for.

[Nick B.]

Smokers are the least considerate people on the face of the earth, why would you think they would do anything considerate or smart.

[ricdaman]

Just below the people who leave their car running, start filling it, leave it unattended to run inside and purchase some beer, then come back out, start drinking the beer, and drive off without paying.

[eric5148]

Tough one, but I think mall security guards are stupider.

[fatmongo]

When I was working for my father, we were digging a long deep ditch to replace a drainage system, and we ripped through a gas line. No big deal, so we call the gas company out to come repair it. 2 of the guys jump in the hole to repair it with lit cigarettes in their mouths!!! I assumed they knew what they were doing so I just stood back and watched. I guess it was ok since they shut off the gas valve before they started working on it, but you know I was really hoping there was some residual gas left in the line that would ignite and blow their faces off. Anyway I think thats just as stupid as smoking at a gas station.

[smoore]

fun experiment:

1) pour gasoline into a puddle
2) light cigarette
3) drop cigarette into puddle
4) amaze as it goes out

the fumes from that puddle on a hot day may be dense enough to ignite but the liquid sure won't.

As far as the natural gas, it won't ignite from a cig either... flick your lighter once (or even turn the thermostat down) in a gas filled house and you have BIG boom.

Science is fun.

[daryn]

yeah most people don't realize that you can actually put out a fire with gasoline.

but you gotta watch out for those vapors....

the w-w-v-ch-v-the vapors.

[Kurn, son of Mogh]

Science is fun.

The only people who ignore rational logic more than the anti-smoking zealots are the anti-gun zealots.

[fatmongo]

[ QUOTE ]
but you gotta watch out for those vapors....

the w-w-v-ch-v-the vapors.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ohhhhhh... he caught the vapors!

[smoore]

[ QUOTE ]
The only people who ignore rational logic more than the anti-smoking zealots are the anti-gun zealots.


[/ QUOTE ]

Don't forget Mac users!

I'm getting one for christmas.... flame on!

[BeerMoney]

So, you're pro smoking at the gas station?

[SlyAK]

[ QUOTE ]
I think this is something people should be arrested for.

[/ QUOTE ]

Come on now, a person of this intelligence obviously needs to go home log on to party poker and make donations to 2+2er's!! /images/graemlins/grin.gif

Sly

[cnfuzzd]

"I smoke, if this bothers anyone, I recommend you looking around the world in which we live and... shutting your [censored] mouth. Either that or suffer a facial burn, your choice. After all this is America, land of freedom, so you have that option ahead of you.

I now realize I smoke for simply one reason, and that is spite. I hate you non-smokers with all of my little black [censored] heart, you obnoxious, self-righteous, whining little fucks, my biggest fear, if I quit smoking, is that I'll become one of you. Now don't take that wrong. How many non-smokers do we have here tonight? By round of applause, non-smokers. A few of you. Good, 'cause I have something to tell you. I do. I have something to tell you non-smokers, and this is for you and you only, because I know for a fact that you don't know this. And I feel it's my duty to pass on information at all times, so that we can all learn, evolve, and get the [censored] off this planet. Non-smokers, this is for you and you only, ready? Non-smokers die every day. Sleep tight. See, I know you entertain some kind of eternal life fantasy because you do not smoke cigarettes. May I be the first to pop that little [censored] bubble of yours, and send you hurtling back to the truth? You're dead too. Have a good evening. And you know what doctors say, "[censored], if only you smoked, we'd have the technology to help you! It's you people dying from nothing that are screwed." I got all sorts of neat gadgets waiting for me, man. Oxygen tent, iron lung-it's like going to Sharper Image! Major rationalizations. We live in such a weird culture, man.

Does anyone remember this, when Yul Bryner died, and came out with that commercial after he was dead? I'm Yul Bryner and I'm dead now. What the [censored]'s this guy selling? I'm all ears. I'm Yul Bryner and I'm dead now, because I smoked cigarettes. Okay, pretty scary. But they coulda done that with anyone. They coulda done it with that Jim Fixx guy, too, remember that guy, that health nut who died while jogging? I don't remember seeing his commercial! I'm Jim Fixx and I'm dead now. And I don't know what the [censored] happened. I jogged every day, ate nothing but tofu, swam five hundred laps every morning, and I'm dead. Yul Bryner drank, smoke, and got laid every night of his life. He's dead. [censored]! Yul Bryner's smokin', drinkin', girls are sitting on his cueball noggin, every night of his life! I'm running around a dewy track at dawn. And we're both [censored] dead. Yul used to pass me on his way home in the morning, big long limousine, two girls blowing him, cigarette in one hand, drink in the other. "One day that life is going to get to you, Yul." They're both dead. Yeah, but what a healthy looking corpse you were, Jim. Look at the hamstrings on that corpse! Look at the sloppy grin on Yul's corpse! Yul Bryner lived his life. Sure, he died a 78-pound stick figure, okay. There are certain drawbacks.

People'll say the stupidest things sometimes too, "Hey, man, if you quit smoking you get your sense of smell back." I live in New York City, I got news for you-I don't want my [censored] sense of smell back. (Sniffs) Is that urine? (Sniffs) I think I smell a dead guy! Honey, look, a dead guy! Covered in urine, check this out! Someone just pee'd on this guy, that's fresh. Just think, if I'd been smoking I never would have found him! A urine-covered dead fella, what're the odds? Thank God I quit smoking, now I can enjoy the wonders of New York, honey, look!

I'm Bill Hicks and I'm dead now because I smoked cigarettes. Cigarettes didn't kill me, a bunch of non-smokers kicked the [censored] out of me one day. I tried to run, they had more energy than I. I tried to hide, they heard me wheezing. Many of them smelled me. (Sniffing sounds) "There he is, get him!" (Pants) "Oh, he's hardly [censored] moving, this is pathetic!" (Pants) "Look, he's still trying to get away, he's like a roach, step on him!" (Pants) "Squash him!" "Let's kill him and pee on him. Yeah!"
(Whistling wind)" -Bill Hicks.


peace

john nickle

[PoBoy321]

Yeah, smoking at a gas station actually isn't all that dangerous. Bad idea, yes, but it happens all the time and nothing ever happens. People think that if you smoke a cigarette within a quarter mile of a gas pump, everything within a mile is going to blow up. The problem is with fumes which generally aren't dense to ignite in open air, and certainly not from the ember on the end of a cigarette.

"The other day, I was in a bar smoking and someone asked me to put it out. She said 'Excuse me, but your smoke is bothering me.' I said 'It's bothering you? Well [censored] off, 'cause it's killing me.'"

[daryn]

sounds like he ripped off denis leary. either that or the other way around, i have never heard of the dude you are quoting. maybe he came first.

[daryn]

still seems pretty irresponsible though doesn't it? i mean, you can't wait 5 minutes to take a smoke, so you are willing to risk blowing up everything in the area and endangering the lives of innocents around you. the risk might be small, but wow, wait 5 minutes you damn addict!

[PoBoy321]

I never said that it wasn't irresponsible, I didn't say that it was a good idea to smoke at gas stations. I should have elaborated though. If you did smoke in a gas station, and let's say hypothetically, you did ignite some fumes, the gas station isn't going to blow up. The worst that would happen is that your eyebrows would get burned off. I'm sure that someone will correct me when I say this, but I'm pretty sure that gas pumps are designed so that even if you were to take a pump and ignite the gas spewing out of it, the flame wouldn't go past the nozzle so that even in that extreme case, the tanks underneath the station aren't compromised. Obviously smoking at a gas station isn't a good idea, and people shouldn't do it, but it's not going to blow up an entire city. If it could, with all the people who're apparently smoking in gas stations, don't you think we'd hear about it every now and then?

[daryn]

i'm not saying it's common or anything, but it could be a dangerous situation for the smoker and anyone near to him, that's all.

[PoBoy321]

Dangerous, yes, but more in the way that it's dangerous to hold a cup of coffee in your lap while you're driving than standing in a nuclear missile silo and seeing what the red button does. The whole point of my post wasn't to say that it's ok to smoke in gas stations, just that it's dangerous, not catastrophic.

[fatmongo]

I don't think the concern is with the flame igniting the stream of gas from the pumps and going into the underground holding tanks. I believe it is more the fear of somehow igniting the stream of gas going into your car's gas tank and that 20 or so gallons exploding. This is also the concern with static buildup at gas stations, as well as the cell-phone-while-fueling fear.
And thanks to Grand Theft Auto, I'm sure everybody has seen what happens when one car blows up. It starts a chain reaction where a minimum of 13 cars catch fire and explode, which results in you getting a 3 star wanted level and being shot at and killed by the police helicoptor before you can make it to a pay-n-spray to get a new paint job and engine so the cops won't recognize you.

[youtalkfunny]

[ QUOTE ]
sounds like he ripped off denis leary. either that or the other way around...

[/ QUOTE ]

I've been hearing for years that Leary ripped off Hicks. The post above was the first Hicks I've heard. They both do the "I love smoking, the rest of you f*** off" routine, but unless there was some bold plagurism of which I'm not aware, I wouldn't say "ripped off".

Hell, Dice was doing smoking bits 20 years ago. "I've been smoking for years, my lung feels great!"

[daryn]

yeah, seemed like there was some bold plagiarism. esp. the whole jim fixx thing.

[Kurn, son of Mogh]

I work for a company that uses all Macs. /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

[Kurn, son of Mogh]

No. Just anti hysterical comments about it.

[AngryCola]

Bill Hicks was the man. If Dennis Leary ripped him off, he did a horrible job of it.

Hicks was a really funny guy who never caught on because most of his material was really cutting edge and controversial. Still, I'm not sure that he would condone cfuzzd's ramblings. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

Hicks actually tried to quit smoking many times. He really wanted to do it, but could never really kick the habit.

Oh... and I highly recommend purchasing or downloading any Bill Hicks specials or CDs. Good stuff.

[cnfuzzd]

oh boy, all kinds of hicks quoting i can do. here ya go daryn:

"I have a scoop for you. I stole his act. I camouflaged it with punchlines, and to really throw people off, I did it before he did."
(On the similarity of Denis Leary's act with his own)

Hicks was definitly first. Also, if you look at the jacket for "No Cure for Cancer" Hicks gets a writing credit, since he did write 99% of the material for that damn cd.

Bill Hicks is possibly the best stand up comedian, ever. Well worth looking into. Sample:

"See, I think drugs have done some good things for us, I really do. And if you don't believe drugs have done good things for us, do me a favor, go home tonight and take all your albums, all your tapes and all your CD's and burn them. Because, you know what, the musicians who made all that great music that's enhanced your lives throughout the years... rrrrrrrreal [censored] high on drugs. Man, the Beatles were so high, they let Ringo sing a couple of tunes. Tell me they weren't partying. (singing) "We all live in a yellow submarine, yellow submarine." We all live in a-do you know how [censored] high they were when they wrote that? They had to pull Ringo off the ceiling with a rake to sing that [censored] song. (Beatle voices) John, get Ringo, he's in the corner. Ooh, look at him scoot, grab him! Hook his bellbottom, hook his bellbottom! He's got a song he wants to sing us. Something about living in a yellow tambourine or something. Ringo, Yoko's gone, come down, we can party again! They were real high, they wrote great music, drugs did have a positive effect.

Okay, I'll tell you what else. I'm gonna extend the theory to our generation, now, so it's more plicable. The musicians today, who don't do drugs, and in fact speak out against it-"We're rockers against drugs"-boy, they suck. Suck. Ball-less, soul-less, spirit-less, corporate little bitches, suckers of Satan's cock, each and every one of them. (sucking noises into the microphone). Suckin' Satan's pecker, suck it! Put that big scaly pecker down your gullet! "We're rock against drugs, because that's what George Bush wants!" (sucking noises) That's what we want, isn't it? Government approved rock n' roll? Don't you want to be at a concert one night, look to your right and see Dan [censored] Quayle right next to you, man? You know you're partying then, you know you're on the edge! "[censored] it, the Quayle-Monster's here, there ain't no going back! We might be up to eleven tonight, [censored] this!" "We're rock stars who do Pepsi-Cola commercials!" (sucking) Luckily, Satan's dick has many heads, so all these little demon piglets can nuzzle up and suckle all at once. "Here comes a fella named Vanilla Ice!" (sucking) "Here comes M.C. Hammer!" (sucking) "Here's Madonna, with two heads!" (sucking) Suckin' Satan's pecker, suck it! It's only your dignity, suck it! It's only your dignity, suck it! M.C. Hammer - oh, I'm sorry, it's 'Hammer', he dropped the M.C. I can't wait till he drops the Hammer too. How about this, drop it all. Good."


peace

john nickle

[daryn]

yeah.. i always cover the bases. in my original post i realized that leary might have ripped hicks off, and made mention of that /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[cnfuzzd]

i wasnt getting pissy, i was just letting you know. Seriously, from all the personality assessment i can make from your posts, i really think it would behoove you to download or purchase some hicks stuff. True Classics.

peace

john nickle

[daryn]

i will def. check it out.

ty for recommendation