do men try to intimidate women?

[lady4luck]

a tourney in vegas 50 players
$55& $5 and it was down to me and another guy.
he wanted to chop the pot, but said he should get more % out of my pot, because he had more chips, was a better player and played high limit regularly. he only had $1000.00 more than me. at first i was just happy to win. (my first)but when he tried to bully me. i said forget lets play..i won..but the ? is would he of tried this bully tactic with a man?

[zaxx19]

No he did it bc all negotions should start like this. I always start negotiations by asking for terms advantageous to me. This is only logical bc even if it happens very infrequently there are times when opponents might agree to said terms.

[Pepsquad]

[ QUOTE ]
No he did it bc all negotions should start like this. I always start negotiations by asking for terms advantageous to me. This is only logical bc even if it happens very infrequently there are times when opponents might agree to said terms.

[/ QUOTE ]

Wrong.

[zaxx19]

OK not ALL ....but informal, im never gonna ever see you again and i really dont need to deal bc I can just play this out with a bigger stack and more perceived skill one should...feeling better now??

[JaBlue]

Give more info on the situation. What were the chip stacks? What was he asking for? What was the payout if you played on? How do you think you play compared to him?

Paint a better picture please. But otherwise, at the table, men seem to be overly passive/nice to women rather than overly aggressive towards them.

[Pepsquad]

[ QUOTE ]
OK not ALL ....but informal, im never gonna ever see you again and i really dont need to deal bc I can just play this out with a bigger stack and more perceived skill one should...feeling better now??

[/ QUOTE ]

MUCH better.

[xTopdogx]

no, i just think ur overreacting. Lots of people try to make deals at the end. And im sure the guy thought he deserved the bigger share. If i was chip leader, I would.

[lady4luck]

i figure we were playing fairly even poker. he was ahead of me 1000.00 in chips. second place paid:480.00, first paid like 620.00? i was already ahead i figured so even if i took second i would be winners. it wasn't like he was way ahead. i think he knew i was playing well and tried to lower my confidence level. you think?

[lady4luck]

i know that people make deals, i chopped with 3 others in tuniica, but it was a more freindly discussion if we wanted to or not. he was a bully and he wasn't ahead alot, as i proved to go on and beat him. usually men are very nice to pretty lady's at the table, i know. maybe i did overreact huh? but it still ticked me off. lol

[ZootMurph]

zaxx... how many tournaments have you been in where you had the opportunity to make a deal?

lady4luck... some people are just jerks, man or woman. This particular individual MAY have a prejudice against women, or may really believe he is that great...

In general terms, poker isn't about male or female, it is about ability to play the game, so I believe most men would not think that way. Personally, I play against several women who are regulars at a tourney I play most weeks. I've seen one at the final table several times. I don't think that women, in general, are weaker players. I DO, however, have reads on them... some of which indicate weak players. But that does not make all women weak players, just like a bad male players doesn't make all men weak players.

[KenProspero]

How many TChips did you start with.

If it's 1000, so that at this stage you have 24,500 and he has 25,500, you're fundamentally even. Even if I were inclined to chop, I don't think I'd pay a great deal, if anything in this situation.

As to his comment that he's a better player than you are, yeah he was trying to intimidate you. But I don't think it's a Male/Female thing, just trying to get you to give up more of the pot than you should.

Overall, I think you did the right thing. You said that there's about $140 difference between first and second. So, the difference between chopping and losing is $70 even if he offers an even deal. The experience of playing heads up with a touney on the line is probably worth that, win or lose.

Also, I'd think the chance to win your first tournament outright would be worth more than $70. And I'm sure that the satisfaction you got was worth it, especially since you won. Well done.

[StacysMom]

I find it hard to beleive that he was trying to imtimidate you on the basis that you're a woman. Men will generally be more generous and/or soft play a woman a bit because they love flirty relations that make them feel good about their chances with women in general.

This was just probably his standard "m.o." for trying to ger more money.

[lady4luck]

thank you very much. it was well worth it, like you said in experience, being my first time. i learned that i could stick up for myself in a sticky situation, which i hope someday will be worth more than this win..lol

[Rick Diesel]

I hate to give the most popular answer on the forum for this one, but it depends.

Personally, I have a intimidating table image, due mostly to my size (6'2", 225) and the voice context (I speak loud). Therefore, when in any position such as the one described, I would try to intimidate 95% of my opponents into giving me a more favorable deal.

It is completely fine to do this, as long as there is not even a slight perception of physical threat. I will use tactics such as talking down on my opponents play, if it will benefit me.

However, since I generally don't make deals, particularly during live tournament play, this would never come to be.

Congratulations on the win, keep up the good play.

Rick Diesel

[lady4luck]

thank you, you only have one first.lol
i do apperciate how being intimidating could be an advantage. how can i work on that? does it help you considerably? again ty

[kalooki45]

i think you dont get as much respect initially--but when you've got all their money, you do /images/graemlins/wink.gif
one advantage is that men think women don't bluff--and top women players use this bit of lore to their advantage quite often .

[FeliciaLee]

I'm also on the "it depends" bandwagon. I have seen men do things solely because I am a woman, and I have seen men do things in any endgame situation.

Usually I pull the Jim Meehan trick and whip out my calculator, while calling over the floor and asking for a chip count deal and all kinds of other official sounding crap. That quickly puts an end to all of their bullying, because they don't want to look like a jerk in front of several witnesses, nor in front of someone who knows what they are up to.

I've been bullied for being a woman, and I've been bullied regardless of gender. The last thing that the nominal chip lead (or even the 2:1 chip lead) wants to do is play it out. He hates that scenario, if he's a wheeler and dealer. He especially hates that scenario in front of a crowd, against a woman. I use this to my advantage, and insist on a better deal for me, or either playing it out. I haven't met a man yet who wants to play it out, and yes, that IS most definitely a gender thing. It can work well to our advantage.

I just wrote a long journal entry to a budding female player about what it is like to be a woman in the poker world. It's not my best writing, but it is candid and blunt, if you want to take a look.

Felicia /images/graemlins/smile.gif
www.felicialee.net (http://www.felicialee.net)