Terrorist Alert in France!

[tek]

AP and UPI reported that the French Government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "run" to "hide." The only two higher levels in France are "surrender" and "collaborate." The raise was precipitated by the recent fire which destroyed one of Frances' white flag factories, disabling their military.

[Edge34]

This is great /images/graemlins/cool.gif

[Dr Wogga]

.....then this [post is right up my alley /images/graemlins/wink.gif PS - expect any second for schlong-face cyrus to remind you that france was an ally for blah-blah-blah....and blah-blah-blah....and yada-yada-yada. My advise: Pay no attention to the man under the towel /images/graemlins/shocked.gif

[wacki]

Sun says Chirac is Saddams whore!

http://www.guardian.co.uk/Iraq/Story/0,2763,919003,00.html

[Cyrus]

I bet it's more than two digits.

...Enjoy them.

[ThaSaltCracka]

very funny. /images/graemlins/laugh.gif

[lorinda]

Love it /images/graemlins/laugh.gif

Lori

[goldcowboy]

Great stuff! The only two notable French contributions to worldwide culture/cuisine are their fries and toast...

P.S. Oops, I forgot about the kiss.

[wacki]

Wrong,

Kama Sutra tells us the Hindus had perfected the technique by the fourth century.

[Cyrus]

"The only two notable French contributions to worldwide culture/cuisine are their fries and toast."

I know this is supposed to be a "joke" thread - but... are you serious?

And FWIW those "french" fries are not french in the first place! You can start ordering 'em again without feeling like a traitor. (They were originally belgian.)

(Ooops, that's another country that gave the finger to the Iraq invasion! Back to freedom fries...)

"Forgot about the kiss."

You mean you don't even know about french culture? Should go out more, man.

[goldcowboy]

OF COURSE this entire post was tongue in cheek. And I do realize that french fries are much too bourgeois for the French. Give me a little credit, man. This just reinforces my conviction that liberals were born without a humor gene.

[ThaSaltCracka]

you are entirely to stuck up Cyrus, seriously.

[wacki]

[ QUOTE ]
you are entirely to stuck up Cyrus, seriously.

[/ QUOTE ]

Aren't all Frenchmen?

[ThaSaltCracka]

well all frenchmen have something stuck up somewhere.

[InchoateHand]

winger.

[goldcowboy]

Cyrus, I never did quit ordering french fries. I like to broaden my horizons by sampling foreign foods like that when I get a chance /images/graemlins/grin.gif And if you care to broaden YOUR horizons by traveling to Western Kansas, I will treat you to a sumptuous repast of Mountain Oysters (and if you have to ask, you probably don't want to know).

[vulturesrow]

your message in the subject line. France sucks.

[ilya]

I like France and the French but this is really funny /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[InchoateHand]

Call us when distinguish between your microscopic intelligence and your microscopic penis.

As studies show, Bush supporters REALLY are stupider.

[vulturesrow]

[ QUOTE ]
Call us when distinguish between your microscopic intelligence and your microscopic penis.

As studies show, Bush supporters REALLY are stupider.

[/ QUOTE ]

Call us when you can get through a single sentence using proper English. /images/graemlins/smile.gif BTW, I like the way you put REALLY in all caps. REALLY drives the point home I must say.

[tek]

I truly hate the French. They are pompous for no reason. They lose 50,000 of their soldiers in Viet Nam in one WEEK...They wear berets, drink lattes and listen to horrible music...They like JERRY LEWIS /images/graemlins/crazy.gif

Personal anecdote. My girlfriend and I go to a French restaurant in suburban Minneapolis a few years ago. The waiter brings us our microscopic portions. Later it's time to order dessert. I ordered banana brunch cake. The waiter, obviously unimpressed with my selection sniffs "Oui Oui, banana brunch cake" as if I told him to eat shjt...

God, I hate those people /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

[InchoateHand]

I have great difficulty speaking proper English. I am so deeply offended by the man who chimed in to defend an utter misuse of the word "bourgeois."

Gee, I guess those college degrees and mammoth Federal Grants towards my graduate education are because I'm stupider.

It is a fact: Bush supporters are more uninformed about issues. Deal with it.

[InchoateHand]

<font color="white"> You are going to get skullfucked </font>

[InchoateHand]

<font color="white"> You are going to get skullfucked </font>

[vulturesrow]

[ QUOTE ]
I have great difficulty speaking proper English. I am so deeply offended by the man who chimed in to defend an utter misuse of the word "bourgeois."

Gee, I guess those college degrees and mammoth Federal Grants towards my graduate education are because I'm stupider.

It is a fact: Bush supporters are more uninformed about issues. Deal with it.

[/ QUOTE ]

I hate to break the news to you but apparently no one else has. Those "degrees" you got from that spam email aren't REALLY worth anything. And going through a welding apprenticeship after getting a 2 year certificate at your community college doesn't count as graduate education.

PS The reason I jumped in is because you are REALLY the biggest c*ck that has jumped into this forum for a while. That's no mean feat. REALLY!

[InchoateHand]

Call us when you mature a little.

It must suck being so horribly misinformed.

[ThaSaltCracka]

you put your foot in your mouth everytime you talk.

[InchoateHand]

<font color="white"> skullfuck yourself </font>

[vulturesrow]

[ QUOTE ]
Call us when you mature a little.

It must suck being so horribly misinformed.

[/ QUOTE ]

Why would I want to call a Frenchie loving assh*le like you that thinks he is better than everyone because he is in graduate school? Maybe I'll call you on the go f*ck yourself phone. REALLY! /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[ThaSaltCracka]

Skull f*ck is two words.

[InchoateHand]

I never claimed to be superior than you---its you who insist on so handily proving that.

[InchoateHand]

<font color="white"> They don't like such skullfuckers. </font>

[ThaSaltCracka]

dude, you are not funny.

[InchoateHand]

Dumbass.

[ThaSaltCracka]

[ QUOTE ]
Dumbass.

[/ QUOTE ]
touche /images/graemlins/confused.gif

[InchoateHand]

But thats okay. I'm sure vulturesrow will <font color="white"> skullfuck </font> you when he hits puberty.

[goldcowboy]

[ QUOTE ]
utter misuse of the word "bourgeois."

[/ QUOTE ]

From Webster's Dictionary: "bourgeois: relating to, or characteristic of the townsman or of the social middle class". That's exactly what I meant when I used the word, because the French all consider themselves members of the upper class (no matter how poor they may be) and would never stoop so low as to consume a "common" food such as french fries. So where, pray tell, is the misuse?

[ThaSaltCracka]

[ QUOTE ]
But thats okay. I'm sure vulturesrow will <font color="white"> skullfuck </font> you when he hits puberty.

[/ QUOTE ]

dude you are on fire..... who does your writing?

[InchoateHand]

Because the French are the originators not only of the word, but of the social conception of a middle-class. The vast majority of French view themselves, rightly, as bourgeois.

Not to mention the negative connotations associated with the word in common parlence, the implication of your original post was sourly confused.

[InchoateHand]

I just insert proper nouns.

[ThaSaltCracka]

[ QUOTE ]
I just insert proper nouns.

[/ QUOTE ]
Yeah, it is so clever and witty.

[goldcowboy]

It was your understanding of my post that was confused. Deal with it.

[InchoateHand]

<font color="white"> skullfucker </font>

[InchoateHand]

No, because "too bourgeois" simply does not mean what you wanted it to. Again, I suggest you pursue higher education, travel some, get a decent paying job, read, and you might turn out alright.

[vulturesrow]

http://www.rajuabju.com/literature/images/the_mi1.jpg

[ThaSaltCracka]

[ QUOTE ]
<font color="white"> skullfucker </font>

[/ QUOTE ]

haha, you keep on wishing I was a skull fucker, please, stop hitting on me.

[InchoateHand]

Dumbass.

I just like that you keep clicking to open things that call you names. Very bright on your part.

[InchoateHand]

Do you always let your little sister put that in the naughty places?

I'm hoping it just your little secret. Nobody has to know that she touched you in those places.

[vulturesrow]

[ QUOTE ]
Do you always let your little sister put that in the naughty places?

I'm hoping it just your little secret. Nobody has to know that she touched you in those places.

[/ QUOTE ]

Middle school humor at its finest. You must have just got your copy of World's Grossest Grossout Jokes! from the Book Fair huh?

[ThaSaltCracka]

Making fun of you is a waste of my time, although I have plenty of B game material which kills your "A" game. Stop while you are only mildly behind.

[goldcowboy]

I have two Master's degrees, am self employed and pay myself well, am well-traveled and well-read. Wait a minute... why am I trying to justify myself to such a jerk? Damn I get tired of you stuck-up condescending liberals who can't comprehend that someone with opposing views may have any redeeming qualities. You are really starting to piss me off. When Cyrus shows for Mountain Oysters he better not have you in tow, because you are not invited.

[InchoateHand]

Don't subject me to any more of your scathing wit, your cruel caustic edge, its, its, its, like, uh, fire. Fire in your pants. Diarrhea, that is. Which you probably got from your sister leaving some other goodies behind. Sucks to be you.

[InchoateHand]

You never give the guy the benefit of "mildly" behind. Thanks for conceding, asswipe.

If I turn out the lights, will you glow?

[vulturesrow]

[ QUOTE ]
Don't subject me to any more of your scathing wit, your cruel caustic edge, its, its, its, like, uh, fire. Fire in your pants. Diarrhea, that is. Which you probably got from your sister leaving some other goodies behind. Sucks to be you.

[/ QUOTE ]

Diarrhea jokes now huh? I expect any moment that you will be saying the word poopie and then giggling madly.

[InchoateHand]

Or just misusing words.

[InchoateHand]

Enjoy yourself, skullfucker.

[wacki]

[ QUOTE ]
Don't subject me to any more of your scathing wit, your cruel caustic edge, its, its, its, like, uh, fire. Fire in your pants. Diarrhea, that is. Which you probably got from your sister leaving some other goodies behind. Sucks to be you.

[/ QUOTE ]

You sound like one of those Frenchies from Monty Python!

HAHAHHAHAHHAHAA!!!!!!!

That made that movie so much funnier!

You have no idea how sad you are.

[ThaSaltCracka]

I said "mildly" to make you feel better.

As for the glowing part, nice try, but you are still not funny.

[InchoateHand]

So no matter how pathetic you are, I just don't let it get me down.

[InchoateHand]

Crinkle. Not even.

[wacki]

Ya, well guess what, we comming for you!



http://www.francesucks.com/unclesam.jpg

[InchoateHand]

Besides, vulturesrow clearly indicated that he is the finger afficienado. Just don't let his sister catch you.

[ThaSaltCracka]

[ QUOTE ]
Besides, vulturesrow clearly indicated that he is the finger afficienado. Just don't let his sister catch you.

[/ QUOTE ]


ROTFLMAO, LOL, LOL, LOL, LOL, GOD YOU KILL ME /images/graemlins/laugh.gif

[wacki]

InchoateHand you sound exactly like this

FRENCH GUARD: You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your

bottom, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called Arthur

King, you and all your silly English k-nnnnniggets. Thpppppt! Thppt!

Thppt!

GALAHAD: What a strange person.

ARTHUR: Now look here, my good man--

FRENCH GUARD: I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food

trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! You mother was a hamster

and your father smelt of elderberries!

GALAHAD: Is there someone else up there we could talk to?

FRENCH GUARD: No, now go away or I shall taunt you a second time-a!

[InchoateHand]

Rhetorical question.

[ThaSaltCracka]

[ QUOTE ]
Rhetorical question.

[/ QUOTE ]

GOD, STOP ALREADY, YOU ARE KILLING ME, LOL...LOL...LOL

CAN SOMEONE GIVE THIS MAN A CONTRACT????

[InchoateHand]

I'm really confused. A well known moron (with "two Masters Degrees...just ask him") critically misused a word, because he didn't know its definition and was ignorant of its connotations both in its native tongue and in English. What, are you saying French people are smarter? Is that how you can tell who they are? Because I would heartily disgree with that. I'm as xenophobic as the next little trailerpark monkey, but I do try to approximate correct usage of English words.

[InchoateHand]

Maybe you were her "B" game.


You really can't let up. Have to have the last word. A glutton for skullfucking punishment.

[wacki]

Dude, your not even funny anymore.. Your lame... Goodnight troll.

[ThaSaltCracka]

the funniest thing is your mom loves this crackas johnson more than she likes your dads.

[wacki]

[ QUOTE ]
the funniest thing is your mom loves this crackas johnson more than she likes your dads.

[/ QUOTE ]


Wow.... That was good. Props salt.

[InchoateHand]

'Cause I'm laughing. At. You.

[InchoateHand]

I can see why you like Bush. Suddenly its all very clear.

[InchoateHand]

Next thing I know you will call me a looser. Oh the anticipation.

[ThaSaltCracka]

no, still the B game, because I don't need to use my A game on you. Go play with your snakes, okay, maybe one of them will fondle you. Then you can finally feel "complete", because thats the closest you will ever get, pimp juice.

[JinX11]

is that it keeps going. Find Jesus or something.

[InchoateHand]

For the most part, us herpeteculturalists don't play with our snakes. I mean, if the old lady isn't home, or your mom's gums are chaffing again, sure, but not often.

[InchoateHand]

You see, Jesus was my copilot, but I got hungry and ate him. I'm happy to stop. So long as I get the last word. And damn, I'm takin all comers.

[ThaSaltCracka]

so when you play with them, what do you do? My guess.... you stick there mouths over your tiny johnson and let them "suck" on it. How far off am I?

[wacki]

InchoateHand = Snake = Verbal only French Defender.

Coincidence? I think not. I'm cracking another rolling rock!

[InchoateHand]

Snakes don't "suck." And I used herpeteculturalists. As in, plural. As in, we play with our snakes. As in, we masturbate when your mom's mouth is bleeding bloody raw.
Understand?

And please. Don't start about the Johnson. We have the excellent wisdom of your mother in that department. She called you an "innie."

[ThaSaltCracka]

yeah I am grabbing another (better tasting) beer.

I see the connection though. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[InchoateHand]

When will you children grow up.

Thought you were leaving? Still a glutton for skullfucking punishment, eh?

[ThaSaltCracka]

[ QUOTE ]
And please. Don't start about the Johnson. We have the excellent wisdom of your mother in that department

[/ QUOTE ] I think we all know this. You are indeed the Johnson-master.

[InchoateHand]

<font color="red"> skullfuck </font>
<font color="white"> yes I know the above is in red </font>

[InchoateHand]

daughter...er...son, and his "innie."

[wacki]

Doesn't this thread deserve a flame about now?

I think I'm about to hit Pooh Bah soon.

[ThaSaltCracka]

what is with your obsession with skull [censored]?

One day you will learn pussy is so much better.

[InchoateHand]

Innie. Of course, thats why you know all about the pussy. Because you are frequently mistaken for possessing one.

[wacki]

[ QUOTE ]
what is with your obsession with skull [censored]?

One day you will learn pussy is so much better.

[/ QUOTE ]

Right now skull [censored] Inchoathand is starting look as good as the average pussy though. Only for vastly different reasons of course.

[ThaSaltCracka]

[ QUOTE ]
daughter...er...son, and his "innie."

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes, that is true, I am not a "Johnson-master", but I am proud to not be one. You on the other hand seem to be proud of it.

[InchoateHand]

As long as you guys keep doubling/tripling up on me. And yes, it heartily deserves a flame.

[InchoateHand]

Seems like it according to your bleeding chaffed mother's lips.

[InchoateHand]

If you ever encountered a vagina (and no, your father's [censored] doesn't actually count), you would be absolutely lost.

[ThaSaltCracka]

[ QUOTE ]
Innie. Of course, thats why you know all about the pussy. Because you are frequently mistaken for possessing one.

[/ QUOTE ]

two things.

1. My "innie" is my belly button
2. I do know a lot about pussy. Your mom schooled me on it big time, she said your pops tiny cock couldn't satisfy her, so she needed a real man. Sorry to burst your bubble, but there is a good chance you don't know your real father.

[daryn]

i'm glad i can finally side with cracka against this idiot w/ the turtle avatar.

[InchoateHand]

You really seem to have some deep-seated insecurities about this one. I'm sorry I made fun of your woeful inadequacy. Don't worry, some women prefer plaintains. Even really, really, small ones.

[InchoateHand]

And isn't.


And to think I sweated you a few months ago. No skullfucking gratitude.

[ThaSaltCracka]

[ QUOTE ]
Don't worry, some women prefer plaintains. Even really, really, small ones.

[/ QUOTE ]
Yeah, you'll find one, keep your spirits up little guy!

[ThaSaltCracka]

snake, turtle, whatever, they all equal to you being gay.

[daryn]

oops.

it does look like a turtle w/ shell though.


seriously man, it seems clear you are so upset because of the election that you are just grasping at straws and just trying to say crazy [censored].

just relax man.

[InchoateHand]

of referencing yourself in the second person will really confuse other readers of this thread. I'm awaiting your "a" game. Dumbass.

[InchoateHand]

I mean, I don't hate you cause you like to catch.

[InchoateHand]

Flaming.

[ThaSaltCracka]

[ QUOTE ]
of referencing yourself in the second person will really confuse other readers of this thread. I'm awaiting your "a" game. Dumbass.

[/ QUOTE ]
I think everyone clearly understands what I am saying. As for you waiting for my A game, the simple fact that you are STILL trying to say anything remotely funning or "cold" should make it apparent as to who is getting played. Go back to playa hatting school sucka.

[ThaSaltCracka]

[ QUOTE ]
Flaming.

[/ QUOTE ]
what flames? You are like a cheap .99 bic lighter.

[InchoateHand]

That's where I make hats for player haters like you, eh?

[ThaSaltCracka]

I am done with you man, you bore me.

[InchoateHand]

To all the other little white boys who want to play hoodlum.

[InchoateHand]

You only engaged in this communal flaggelation for two hours.

[wacki]

This post is on FIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

[vulturesrow]

[ QUOTE ]
You only engaged in this communal flaggelation for two hours.

[/ QUOTE ]

It is spelled flagellation. Ta ta!

[ThaSaltCracka]

you really aren't smart are you.

8:10 to 9:28.


done with you, simpleton.

[InchoateHand]

99% accuracy on my part. 100% retardation on yours.

[InchoateHand]

And the verdict is in.

[ThaSaltCracka]

[ QUOTE ]
99% accuracy on my part. 100% retardation on yours.

[/ QUOTE ]
http://dictionary.reference.com/search?r=2&amp;q=flagellation

[InchoateHand]

Wow, you just keep coming back for more.

[wacki]

InchoateHand, I want to thank you for bringing so much attention to the French R Pussies thread.

[InchoateHand]

should be employed correctly.

[ThaSaltCracka]

[ QUOTE ]
Wow, you just keep coming back for more.

[/ QUOTE ]
only because you are consistently wrong.

[InchoateHand]

swore in front of a bunch of witnesses. Or about people using words wrong, to which I can refer you to a little thing you already discovered this evening. (No, not your dick). A dictionary.

[wacki]

He isn't wrong about the french being pussies. Give him credit for that atleast.

[ThaSaltCracka]

my dick resembles something which you like, a python. do you want to do some tests on it?

[ThaSaltCracka]

that is common knowledge though.

[InchoateHand]

I say "game" very charitably. But I'm kind like that.

[InchoateHand]

With you 'tards.

[ThaSaltCracka]

to measure your johnson.

[InchoateHand]

for big things, you need lots of microscopes.


Whereas for you, one proves all too insufficient. SEM just aren't powerful enough to discern your subatomic particle.

[Cyrus]

Stuck up is right.

All my wagering for the month (incl. American elections) is going to hell.

And that's no joke.

[Cyrus]

"Personal anecdote. My girlfriend and I go to a French restaurant in suburban Minneapolis a few years ago. The waiter brings us our microscopic portions. Later it's time to order dessert. I ordered banana brunch cake. The waiter, obviously unimpressed with my selection sniffs "Oui Oui, banana brunch cake" as if I told him to eat shjt...I truly hate the French."

Strictly between us: How much did you pay? /images/graemlins/cool.gif

I bet you paid a lot. Right? So. Who's the sucker in the story, tell me, you or the phoney-French waiter?

"[The French] lose 50,000 of their soldiers in Viet Nam in one WEEK."

Yeah, which is evidence of cowardice, I guess. Any time an army loses 50,000 men in battle, it's evidence of ...cowardice.

So losing ten times as much is evidence of ten times more cowardice! Right? Go up to some Vietnam Vets and tell 'em the news.

"They wear berets, drink lattes and listen to horrible music."

What movie are you watching? French wear berets much less than Americans wear cowboy hats. Of all the silly cliches! And the music they listen to is mostly American and English pop, so you have a point there -- it's mostly horrible!

As to their coffee, you should know that French and Italian coffees are the best in the world. But you're free to stick to yer Starbucks slop. (Oh and how much do you pay for coffee in Starbucks? ...How much is it again? ROTFLMAO)

"..They like JERRY LEWIS."

What's the matter with you, you don't like Jerry Lewis?? Not even with Dean Martin? /images/graemlins/cool.gif Jerry Lewis had brilliant moments - he was the archetype for Jim Carey. And he never made a banana brunch cake joke in his life.

[Cyrus]

"From Webster's Dictionary: "bourgeois: relating to, or characteristic of the townsman or of the social middle class". That's exactly what I meant when I used the word, because the French all consider themselves members of the upper class (no matter how poor they may be)"

OK, Inchoate Hand is clearly drunk out of his skull but you are not exactly walking a straight line here!..

I mean, the upper class is entirely different from the middle class, so what are you going on about?

And you should also realize that "bourgeois" designates mores more than anything else (i.e. Someone can be rich or a baron and still be deemed to be like a "bourgeois" in his thinking, which means to be conservative, a little reactionary, a prude, suspicious of innovations, artists and scientists, etc. Ring a bell? /images/graemlins/smile.gif And "petit bourgeois" is worse.)

[Dr Wogga]

....agree with me. So, how'd your guy do yesterday, hmmm? Too bad the rest o the American public doesn't have all the answers like you do. NOT!!!!! ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,..............foe' mo' yo'

[goldcowboy]

OK that does it. You are much too mean-spirited and condescending. Just for that, I'm not going to share my french fries with you. And the invitation to a mountain oyster feast is hereby rescinded.

[Cyrus]

"That does it. You are much too mean-spirited and condescending. Just for that, the invitation to a mountain oyster feast is hereby rescinded."

You can always invite Wogga.

/images/graemlins/cool.gif

[Cyrus]

You gloat because this is one of the two modes of thinking you are capable of. (The other is being angry mad outta yer skull.)

It is so easy to get to you and to manipulate you, that it starts feeling like child abuse.

So, for a week or so, enjoy your chosen idiot at the White House. I'll be back after that and put you in that other mode.

/images/graemlins/cool.gif

[nicky g]

This is the worst thread ever. This forum is getting crappier by the second.

[Cyrus]

...and pronto

[tek]

[ QUOTE ]
"Personal anecdote. My girlfriend and I go to a French restaurant in suburban Minneapolis a few years ago. The waiter brings us our microscopic portions. Later it's time to order dessert. I ordered banana brunch cake. The waiter, obviously unimpressed with my selection sniffs "Oui Oui, banana brunch cake" as if I told him to eat shjt...I truly hate the French."

Strictly between us: How much did you pay? /images/graemlins/cool.gif

I bet you paid a lot. Right? So. Who's the sucker in the story, tell me, you or the phoney-French waiter?

[/ QUOTE ]

Actually, it was on an expense account of a friend. The waiter was French, but I think the restaurant was phoney, because it was in the Embassy Suites in Bloomington /images/graemlins/laugh.gif