Sucker's Quest for Challenge Greatness: A 30 day Mission...

[J.A.Sucker]

All of these quests being posted have inspired me to seek greatness of my own over the next 30 days. I feel like I should describe my entire life story for you all, but I'm too lazy to do so. I also feel like I should describe my poker goals, but I don't have any, so I won't. Perhaps I can discuss what spiffy item that I'll save up for, but that's so passe, therefore, I won't do that, either. In total, you get no background information. Sorry, but I hope that this doesn't detract from my quest. Maybe Clark will help me out in this regard, but only if Bruiser asks nicely.

I know, I know, Zeno's probably wondering what my quest is going to be. I suppose that I'll attempt to do 30 quests in 30 days; I've deemed this the only ground rule. As far as what the quests shall be, here's the thing: I don't know what I'm going to do. This is where the forum comes in so handy; you all can describe my quests for the next 30 days, and maybe I'll consider doing them if I deem the suggestion (or, frankly, you) worthy of my time.

For originality, please don't include any of the following quest ideas, because they're tired:

1. I will make 43 million dollars in 12 days, playing 3/6.
2. I will try to convince David that God exists.
3. I will eat the food at Lucky Chances and live to tell about it.
4. I will play X hours of poker, for Y days.
5. I will grow my bankroll to D dollars.
6. I will convince Clark that the Cards suck.
7. I will convince El Diablo that the Nuggets are better than the Rockets.
8. I will have sex with a 15 year-old girl, because it's OK.

But who am I to dare seek out such a quest?!? Stay tuned, for in the next 30 days, we all shall find out!

[J.A.Sucker]

I have managed to get the first reply to my post! Ole!!! Too bad it was mine. Ole!!!

[Schneids]

Quest:

Convince the forum that if the world is weird enough for the Red Sox to win a WS, then this must be the Vikings year to win a SB.

[Blarg]

Don't drop a single name, or make any inside jokes or obscure references. Also, win some money.

[theBruiser500]

[ QUOTE ]
Sorry, but I hope that this doesn't detract from my quest. Maybe Clark will help me out in this regard, but only if Bruiser asks nicely.

[/ QUOTE ]

Okay, I'm not sure what you're saying here but I will ask Clark for help. Clark, please help. Goodluck on your quest JASucker.

[citanul]

Diversify:

Everyone's quests have been about one game they play. Almost all I believe have been either NL or limit holdem.

We need to see some or all of the following:

Holdem: limit, pot limit, nl, spread limit, Omaha: limit, pot limit, high, high/low, Stud: see list for Omaha, Crazy Pinapple, 2-7 lowball, A-5 lowball, Heads up games of various sorts, Razz, Blind Man's Bluff, Pai Gow, Texas Holdem Challenge, 3 card poker, ...

The list goes on, you get the point. You and we are bored of hearing about people making Xbb/hr for Y hrs for Z days.

What we really want to know is how many games of Iron Cross Holdem you can find spread, and how those go.

citanul

[lacky]

lose $10,000 in the most spectacular and original way possible. Should be a challange, comody is always good, discrace and humiliation is optional, I'll leave that one up to you.

[wuwei]

hey now...

I think Schneids is onto something here!

[NLSoldier]

[ QUOTE ]
Quest:

Convince the forum that if the world is weird enough for the Red Sox to win a WS, then this must be the Vikings year to win a SB.

[/ QUOTE ]

Holy crap, this just made my day! There really IS hope now /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[JTG51]

How about a quest to keep this thread at the top of the board for all thirty days so I don't have to go back two pages to find it?

[BreakEvenPlayer]

J.A. Sucker,

The challenge is as follows: How many hand-jobs can you get in the next 30 days? What constitutes a "hand-job" you might ask? I developed a hand-job scoring system several months ago when I was going to attempt this challenge myself, but never got around to it. Hand-job scoring is as follows.

1. A normal hand-job from a normal female counts as 1 hand-job.

2. A hand-job from a male counts as 2/5 or 0.4% of a hand-job.

3. A hand-job while playing internet poker counts as 2 hand-jobs, multiplied by 2 for every table more than one that you are playing. (For example, if you get a hand-job while 5 tabling, that would be worth: 5-1 = 4x2 = 8 hand-jobs!)

4. A hand-job while playing live poker is worth 10 hand-jobs. There may or may not be cardrooms in California where this is possible.

5. A hand-job from a fellow two-plus-twoer, regardless of gender, is worth 17 hand-jobs.


Good luck and give us daily updates please.

Edited to add hyphens to all uses of the word "hand-job."

[Lawrence Ng]

[ QUOTE ]
1. I will make 43 million dollars in 12 days, playing 3/6.

[/ QUOTE ]

Only? /images/graemlins/smirk.gif

[ QUOTE ]
8. I will have sex with a 15 year-old girl, because it's OK.

[/ QUOTE ]

Maybe over in Southeast Asia...

[Michael Davis]

This is way more disturbing than anything Erostratus ever posted.

-Michael

[DanS]

[ QUOTE ]
lose $10,000 in the most spectacular and original way possible. Should be a challange, comody is always good, discrace and humiliation is optional, I'll leave that one up to you.

[/ QUOTE ]

What the hell is this? Brewster's Millions part II?

Dan

[Tosh]

* Do Ted Forrest's Heineken challenge.
* Take 4 different class A's in the same evening.

[SomethingClever]

How much is a hand-job from James Woods worth?

[citanul]

And does a self administered hand-job count for any hand jobs at all?
I think it should count for negative, for the purposes of scoring.

citanul

[J.A.Sucker]

No good quests from you guys yesterday, so I went out on my own. Actually, the Gun Forum's Ghost (or was it Zee's...) told me to ditch out of the lab and blow off some steam at the gun range. My buddy and I shot the S&W 500 Magnum. It went pop. Really loud. It shoots amazingly well, and we were keeping everything tight from 25 yards. I couldn't believe how easy this gun was to shoot. Now I know which gun to use the next time I want to kill a bear who's standing in front of my car... through the engine compartment.

Then, I ate sushi. It was delicious. In all, it was a good day, and likely better than yours. I didn't play any internet poker, and I shot the biggest hand-cannon in the world. I also managed to remember to pay my rent on time, a feat in itself. Quest 1 complete.

[J.A.Sucker]

How many points would I get from a BJ from your sister while playing 10000 tables of online poker? Thanks.

[astroglide]

awesome

[J.A.Sucker]

The 10K challenge is hardly newsworthy. I may end up playing cards tonight, and I suspect this will occur at that time. Par for the course, if you will. As for the humiliation, you guys have no idea how difficult it is for me to leave the house looking as stupid as I do. Difficult, indeed.

[J.A.Sucker]

This is actually a good point, though a little tough out here. We don't have any stud games over 4-8 (boo), and the Omaha hi/lo is similarly small. We do have NL, the spread limit, and the limit games (I don't know if the PLO game in Hayward goes anymore). I could also play Pai Gow (tiles), Double Hand Poker, "21st Century" Blackjack, Super Pan 9, and Pan. I've played Pan once, though I didn't know the rules. Maybe I will sit down in the biggest Pan game I can find and give a trip report. I think that the old ladies play on Saturday mornings, and it's $5 condition... whatever that means, but I think that 100 bucks could last me an hour, which likely exceeds how long my patience would last for those geriatric card-squeezers.

[J.A.Sucker]

The rent thing was pretty cool, huh.

[BreakEvenPlayer]

What's a "BJ" ???

[astroglide]

yeah that was why i responded

[joker122]

Worst quest ever.

[sfer]

Was this at Jackson Arms? I love that place.

[J.A.Sucker]

I think you are missing something very fundamental to this quest. Do you see why? I'll let others elaborate.

[J.A.Sucker]

Jackson won't let you shoot these guns - the range is too small. This was at Reed's in Santa Clara. I recommend going down there and trying it out.

[ILL34GL3]

Wow! Tight groups at 25 yards? You guys must be professional match shooters. I'm impressed. /images/graemlins/wink.gif

[Chris Daddy Cool]

[ QUOTE ]
Then, I ate sushi. It was delicious.

[/ QUOTE ]

What's your favorite sushi?

[Diplomat]

BreakEvenPlayer's sister.

-Diplomat

[citanul]

New Quest?

As many ethicities of food as possible in 30 days?
Bonus for preparing food yourself that doesn't make you ill.
Negative points for any ethic foods consumed in a cafeteria, or mall food court.

citanul

[sfer]

You mean CDC's sister.

[sfer]

You should go to Harry's Hofbrau and see how many times you can cycle between eating to exhaustion and puking everything out in one night. It's the Karen Carpenter quest.

If you're sweaty and feel totally bloated and disgusting, you're in perfect condition to play at Garden City.

[CrackerZack]

Sucker, you acheived greatness the day you referred to SobeDude as your whipping boy. All this other stuff is just icing.

The Nuggets are better than the Rockets, even if 'Melo's friends keep him well "stocked".

[CrackerZack]

I confused you and snakehead. blah. me be dumb.

[Diplomat]

[ QUOTE ]
You mean CDC's sister.

[/ QUOTE ]

Thanks for the correction. I meant yo mama.

-Diplomat

[joker122]

[ QUOTE ]
Do you see why?

[/ QUOTE ]

This hasn't been funny for months. And I don't see why. Since the others didn't elaborate can you?