Can anyone top my awsomeness?

[Sponger15SB]

So I just transferred to UCSB from Santa Barbaba City College (I went to a community college, shocking I know) and my transcripts got all f'ed up so I couldn't get into any upper division Political Science courses so I was stuck taking crappy classes that I hate and never want to go to.

Here is my schedule this quarter:
Sociology 152a - Human Sexuality
Western Civilization 4a
Art Surver I: Ancient - Medieval 6a
(here is how I explain my classes to people: Crap, Crap, and Crap)

So I walk into my Western Civ class yesterday after missing like 3 straight classes and also my discussion this monday and I look up on the projector and it says something like "Turn in your papers to your TA" and everyone is walking around our lecture hall and I of course think

WHAT [censored] PAPER!!!

Our test isn't for another few weeks so I assumed the paper was due in like a week, and I guessed wrong. So after class I e-mail my TA and tell him how [censored] dumb I am and he is going to let me turn in the paper on monday.

Does anyone out there have a similarly sad story during school like that? Anyone oversleep on a final or messup the day you thought it was?

[OrangeHeat]

I had one semester when I discovered the wonders of alcohol, marijuana, parties, pool, poker, and not sleeping. Needless to say I skipped alot of classes.

I went to one business class that was particulary boring a total of three times the whole semester. It was nice when the syllabus came out to find out there was only a final exam and homework was not graded. I skimmed the book and got a 4.0 as the test was common knowledge stuff.

The same semester I had a statics class that I found fairly easy so I skipped a bunch of times. After missing two weeks straight of it I went to one class where the Prof was reviewing the test from the week before - the only problem was I DIDN't TAKE IT. Oops - had to drop it as the test was 30% of the final grade and when I tried to get an exception the professor just said "your in my class??". Oh well.

I lucked out the next semester and had all my classes scheduled Tuesday through Thrusday. 4 day weekends kick butt!

Orange

[PhatTBoll]

My junior year of college I took Communications 101, widely known as the easiest, most brain-dead class on the entire campus. I took it for an easy grade, and had heard from several of my Comm major friends that all you had to do was show up for the tests, and that you never had to go otherwise.

I went to it about 3 times the entire semester.

The week before the final, I was looking through the syllabus, and noticed this little gem on the last page:
"Class participation will be worth 1/3 of your final grade. No exceptions will be allowed."

Whoops! It seems that a new professor had taken over the class and had revamped the grading policy.

The only thing worse than failing the easiest class on campus is trying to explain it to your friends and family.

[mmbt0ne]

Last semester, I went home after my first 3 finals because my last one wasn't for a few days, and I only live about 45 minutes from campus. Well, I wake up Friday morning head up to Tech about 1:00 for the final at 2:00. I get there at 1:45, and walk into the building and see someone I went to high school with about to take a Chemistry final. Random, I think, I haven't seen her in a while. Then, I see someone I'm in class with and she asks me how I think it went.
"How what went?"
"The final"
"I'll tell you in about 2 hours."
"Uhhhh, no. We just took it."
Awesome, the final was at 11, not 2. I run to the professor's office and catch him 10 minutes before he's leaving to go out of town. I try to explain myself, telling him that I even scheduled a later flight to Orlando Friday night because I thought I wouldn't get out of class til 4.
"Did you ever come to class?"
"Yes sir" (We both know this is a stretch, and only true because of the word 'ever')
"Did you read the syllabus?"
"Umm, no sir."
Luckily, he lets me take the final for -10 pts. Plenty fair, but it pissed me off because I needed a 92 for an A in the class. Of course, I got a 94, which became an 84, which gave me a B.

[Clarkmeister]

Wow, you slacked off in college and survived. No one's ever done that before.

[Sponger15SB]

[ QUOTE ]
Wow, you slacked off in college and survived. No one's ever done that before.

[/ QUOTE ]

I didn't write this to "brag" that I convinced my TA to let me turn in a late paper, everyone has talked a teacher into doing something similar.

Only to ask has anyone done something this dumb... and by "awsomeness" I meant dumbness.

[ThaSaltCracka]

Last quater I was taking Math 157, which is a business calculus class at my local CC. This class was really hard for me, but fortunately I worked my ass of for the first half of the quater so by the time the second part of the quarter(when the class was really hard) my grade was pretty good.

We had 4 tests in this class, including a non cumulative final. We also had a HW, Quiz and participation grade in the class. Out of these 7 scores, which ever one was the lowest the teacher dropped. So going into the final all I need to do was turn in my HW and leave. Yup no final for me. Well before the class I was telling one of my classmates that I wasn't taking the final and he said he wasn't either. So we go into the class, get the test(along with the rest of the class) and turn in our HW. The teacher starts the test and then me and this other guy "take" the test. This involved guessing random multiple choice questions. It took us 3 minutes to take the test and we were out. Everyone was staring at me when I walked out of the class, with a phat ass grin on my face. Great day.

[Sponger15SB]

Back in high school my World History teacher screwed up and assigned way to many points for all the HW/quizzes/test and so the final ended up being something insignificant to me because I had like an 84% in the class. He handed out the scantrons and I had filled out all C's and gave it back to him before he had a chance to give me the actual test. We hated eachother anyways.

[ThaSaltCracka]

yeah my Math teacher was pissed too, but [censored] him, he is only a math teacher /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[wayabvpar]

I had a poli sci course my freshman year- big lecture hall, giant class. I bought the books, grabbed the syllabus, and missed most of the classes (I was too busy sleeping and partying).

I showed up the day of the first test with my blue book, ready and raring to go after my cramming session. A 1 page quiz was handed out, which I quickly finished. I then realized that everyone else around me had already filled in their blue books- the professor had given out the essay questions the night before (a dirty trick that was not on the syllabus!). After nearly vomiting, I wrote the following in my blue book- "I missed class when the essay questions were handed out. Sorry for wasting your time."

I marched out of the lecture hall directly to the registrar's office and dropped the class.

[WDC]

I went to collage before computers were popular. All my history papers had to be typed and I can't type. I found a typist in town about 20 minutes away that would type my parers. I deliver the paper to the typist the afternoon before it was due and she tells me that it will be ready the next morning. I get there the next morning and she has the paper on the kitchen table. As soon as I ring the door bell and she turns around to answer it her son spills a gallon of milk on the table and it is all over the paper. Next her dog wants to have some milk and as he is lapping up someof the paper gets chewed.

Bottom line: I had to tell my professotr that my typist'd dog ate my homework. I was able to show him my handwritten paper and a letter from the typist and he accepted my handwritten paper.

On a complete tangent, I used to have a recurring dream while in college that I missed my Spanish final. I have never taken Spanish so I was never sure why my subconscious picked that course.

[ThaSaltCracka]

[ QUOTE ]
I marched out of the lecture hall directly to the registrar's office and dropped the class.

[/ QUOTE ] Been there done that. It's actually one of my favorite moves.

[GuyOnTilt]

The one year I did go to school, I missed a ton of class. My second semester I knew what profs didn't care about attendance and who was easy and so on, so I rarely went to classes. One week I decided to go to my Lit class 'cause I thought he was going over what the final was all about that evening. I show up and everybody's turning in their final projects that I completely forgot about and hadn't even started yet. I was so freaking panicked I literally ran back to my dorm room. The class was one and a half hours long and the paper had to be 3000 words. I hadn't done any of research, put any thouht into what I was going to write on, etc, but I'm a pretty good writer, a fast typer, and a 5-star procrastinator so I figured I might be able to pull it off. An hour and a half later I had myself a 10 page paper and turned it in just as class was getting out. I was very happy with my B+ on it.

GoT

[ThaSaltCracka]

that is awesome.

[wayabvpar]

Heh. I did something similar (although not quite so rushed). In my Ancient History class, we had all semester to read Plato's Republic and write a 5 page paper using at least 3 quotes from the text. My lazy ass waited until the night before the paper was due to start. I skimmed the book, picked out 3 quotes, and wrote the entire paper on an electric typewriter (this was the late 80s before everyone had computers). At 5 am I collapsed into bed, headed to my 9 AM class a few hours later, and turned my paper in.

105/108 points. "Best paper I've read in several quarters" in red ink at the top.

Another fav- I took 2.5 years of Spanish in high school (straight As), and decided to take Spanish my first quarter in college. I get a hardass prof who demands that I be in class every day. I ace (95% and above) every quiz and test, complete every assignment, and get a D for non-class participation. ARRGH.

I decide to retake the class the next quarter with a different prof. First Friday we get a quiz. I finish it before the TA gets done passing them out. I turn it in, head out the back door, and run into the prof enjoying a cigar. "You know this stuff pretty well, don't you?" I nod. "Took several years in high school". He says "This first quarter is pretty elementary. Why don't you just show up on test days?"

I nearly kissed him. Turned the D on my record into an A.

[Senor Choppy]

I took a month long vacation from school once, in what I thought was a slow period with nothing of major importance happening. On my first day back, I walked into my meteorology class to discover that was the day of the first of 3 exams.

Using my 3rd grade/common sense knowledge of the subject, I did my best to answer the essay questions, despite the fact that the only real meteorological terms I knew were cumulus, cirrus, jet stream, and El Nino.

I got a 12%.

[daryn]

that story is weak. i know i have missed whole final exams.

[Toro]

Although I was a Civil Engineering major, Thermodynamics an ME course was required. In years past, they dumbed it down for us simple civils but the year I had it we were throw right in with the ME's.

I hated it from the very first class and just stopped going. Then I did a stupid thing. I showed up for the final exam. After staring at it for 2 minutes and knowing the only question I was going to get right was my name, I got up and handed the professor a blank test.

Man, did I get a lot of funny looks as I walked to the front of the room.

[Sponger15SB]

[ QUOTE ]
that story is weak. i know i have missed whole final exams.

[/ QUOTE ]

So you win! or lose.... I'm not really sure.

[daryn]

both

[Michael Davis]

This stuff happens all the time. Thank God most people at non-hardcore institutions are nice and kind and don't want to fail their students.

I don't know what you're looking for, but I just turned in a paper that was due almost a year ago. I turned it in three weeks after the deadline for getting kicked out of school/not being able to teach. The teacher didn't turn my grade in immediately, so I was actually teaching a class for a week while I was technically academically ineligible to be in school.

-Michael

[cnfuzzd]

I went to an econ final once during a two-day party. Reeked of weed and stale beer. Had my sports bottle filled with gatorade. And vodka. Dont remember the last ten minutes of the test. Passed.

It was the fourth time i took the freshman level econ class.


Also funny, but not nearly as extreme. We had a stupid intro to college life class that one had to pass to do something or other. I took it five times. the fifth time i told the prof, who was fairly cool, that i probably wouldnt show up for most of the first couple of months. He asked why. I respond "Well, the other four times ive taken this class, thats how long it takes me to get bored and drop it. So i know that part really well." He looked at me, and said try to show up once a week at least.

I didnt.

peace

john nickle

[SomethingClever]

OT, but is that Neal Stephenson in front of a Mariners banner in your avatar?

[ThaSaltCracka]

That is the Mariners GM Bill Bavasi.

[ThaSaltCracka]

I remember my freshman year I had an intro to business test to take, and instead of studying for it, My buddy and I killed a rack and a half of Key Ice. Needless to say, zero studying was done, and I woke up 15 minutes before the class started. Somehow, still drunk and hung over I passed with a B+. Man, I have dozens of stories like that.

[SomethingClever]

[ QUOTE ]
That is the Mariners GM Bill Bavasi.

[/ QUOTE ]

My second guess was John Malkovich, but he doesn't live in Seattle, so that didn't make sense.

[ThaSaltCracka]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
That is the Mariners GM Bill Bavasi.

[/ QUOTE ]

My second guess was John Malkovich, but he doesn't live in Seattle, so that didn't make sense.

[/ QUOTE ]

well Bavasi is even uglier. I take you noticed my location?

[Dominic]

All I can say is that I'm 41 and everyday I STILL thank god I no longer have to worry about tests, term papers, theses, etc.

Wait until you've been out of school awhile and you have dreams like the one I always do:

It's the end of the semester and I've completely forgotten to go to a certain class all damn year! AHHHHHHHHHHH!

Do others have these stupid dreams?? Maybe it has something to do with how far you went with your education - I stopped at an MFA...thought about a PhD but why? I make porn. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[daryn]

ya i had one dream where i had this big project due for a marine biology class. it wasn't just like a report though, i actually had to go out on the ocean and collect live samples, and do actual research. how weird!!

by the way i was a physics major.

[Sponger15SB]

Do you watch a lot of seinfeld?

I like this thread. It makes me glad that I'm not the only [censored] up.

[AJo Go All In]

let me get this straight, your interesting story is that you didn't write your paper and so you asked for an extension and got it?

do you know anybody else at college? this is not that uncommon.

[EdSchurr]

So it's the first semester of my first year of college, and final exams are approaching. I head up to the math building where the times are posted, and see something along the lines of ``CHIN 100 S2 Wednesday 13th'', and then on the other side of the board ``ENGL 115 S4 Friday 15th'' and my other classes by coincidence right below it: MATH 121 (Calculus), MATH 151 (Algebra). Elsewhere, my comp. sci. exam is very soon.

Well my friend had gotten me some rum and coke for my 19th birthday. The day before my comp. sci. test I get drunk for the 2nd time ever--the first was fun and I was fine afterwards. I must have had too much though, because this time I spent the morning puking. And this was the day of my exam. So I walk the 2km up to school, extremely dehydrated (I didn't know alcohol was a diuretic), and take my exam. The entire time I'm trying not to pass out; my head is down, and I'm scribbling code as fast as I can (Edit: I remember now that I skipped one of the larger questions, losing me probably from 5 to 10%). I manage a B on the test, and an A overall.

So days pass and it's Tuesday now, and I go online to check the exact exam times. But I notice that I have two exams in the same 13:00 block! I look a little more closely... [censored], Algebra was actually last week! And I check Calculus and it's the same thing. Apparantly back in the Math building they didn't group exams together by date.

Well, I talk to my math professors and the Algebra one will give me a C+, because I was doing well in the course (multiple 100% midterms in fact) and so I can get into the higher classes, and the Calculus professor will take my grade before the final and apply some multiplier that depends on how well people tend to do in the final versus their before-grades. So I end up with C+ and C (I was hoping to improve my grade to at least a B on the test!).

Chinese and English were uneventful, and I got A/A- in them.

[Sponger15SB]

AJ-

Let me take this time to give you my sincerest apologies for wasting your time. I feel terrible. Really.

Will you forgive me? You matter oh so much to me.

Sincerely,
Sponger15SB

[CCass]

Political Science Class (elective). 3 hours every Wednesday night. The previous semester, the professor had decided to give only a mid-term (40%) and a final (60%). Both tests were to be 50 question multiple choice.

My room-mate had the class the previous semester, and the professor had mentioned that there were study questions available on computer at the library. Turns out, all of the midterm and final questions were straight from the computer database and my room-mate makes a easy A.

So I go to class the first night, professor mentions same deal with the computer database. So thinking I am set, I do not attend another class until the mid-term. I had memoriaed every question from the database, and sure enough, I score a 98 on the mid-term. I do not attend another class until the final, again having the database committed to memory. Professor passes out the test, I turn it over and none of the questions on the 1st page look familiar, so I go to the 2nd page, same thing. It then dawns on me that these questions aren't from the database. Apparently, the professor realized that his questions were to predictable, so he changed the final. I muddle thru the test and scored just high enough to get a B in the class.

[swimfan]

That's interesting. I'm 28, and recently started having that same dream repeatedly. It really sucks. No idea what it means, though.

[billyjex]

My story's not really cool, but it worked out for me.

Freshman year, 2nd semester, I took a class called color theory. My major at the time was graphic design because I thought I would just design stuff on computer. But no, the major actually was mostly drawing and painting. This way my first class and it was a painting class based on color (you would have to paint something like the outline of a picture in one color, just different tones of it.)

So I absolutely SUCKED at this. I completely hated it. 4 weeks in, I just couldn't stand it after not being able to complete the first assignment while the rest of the class was already on the second. I just stopped going.

A month later I show up to ask the teacher if I could drop the class. She knew I struggled with it but she told me it was too late. I said f' it and I would take the F.

Low and behold, the report card comes midsummer. C in color theory. Never took one exam or completed one assignment. I guess she felt sorry for me.

[B00T]

I had an Econ final that I completely forgot about my sophmore year of college. It was the end of finals week and realized that I missed the test by 4 days. Some chick said that he had already graded them and she emailed him for her score. I decided to email him too and ask what I got. He emailed me back later that day and said, I don't have your test. I play the role like, what are you talking about I took the test and said how the 3rd essay confused me after finding out what was on the test from the girl I knew. The next day I got an email back from the professor saying..."I found your test, you got a B"

I wonder what he would of said if I asked him to see it /images/graemlins/cool.gif

[sfer]

There's a good chance he didn't read the paper. A year after school, I went back to see a friend graduate. The winner of the Department Citation (because of size, Cal has department specific graduation ceremonies) was being introduced by her advisor. He said, "Her Honors Thesis is called 'Insert Way Overblown Title Here.' It's a great sounding paper. Maybe I'll even read it; I already gave her an A." Everyone who had a class with him knew that was not a joke.

[Sponger15SB]

[ QUOTE ]
I had an Econ final that I completely forgot about my sophmore year of college. It was the end of finals week and realized that I missed the test by 4 days. Some chick said that he had already graded them and she emailed him for her score. I decided to email him too and ask what I got. He emailed me back later that day and said, I don't have your test. I play the role like, what are you talking about I took the test and said how the 3rd essay confused me after finding out what was on the test from the girl I knew. The next day I got an email back from the professor saying..."I found your test, you got a B"

I wonder what he would of said if I asked him to see it /images/graemlins/cool.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

We have a winner!

[ftball0000]

freshman year at univ at buffalo, I had an english class that I absolutely hated. We had a final paper we had to write that we could turn in by e-mail. I also had a final paper due in a western civ class. Needless to say, I procrastinated and only had time to do 1 before the due date. So I did the western civ paper and sent that paper to both teachers. My thinking was that I would be ok, w/ western civ, and then my english prof would e-mail me saying I turned in the wrong paper to him, which would in turn give me time to type my english paper. Well, I decided to procrastinate again and not type my english paper, waiting for my teacher to e-mail me, before I started writing it. Good news for me is that I never got that e-mail, and I never had to write that paper and I got my B+ and had a great summer

-Ftball