Prison Vs Work (Those that don't have a sense of Humor don't open)

[thomastem]

I'm sure this will offend the usual suspects but here is a little something to get the week started.


IN PRISON...you spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell.
AT WORK...you spend the majority of your time in a 6X8 cubicle.

IN PRISON...you get three meals a day.
AT WORK...you only get a break for one meal and you pay for it.

IN PRISON...you get time off for good behavior.
AT WORK...you get more work for good behavior.

IN PRISON...the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK...you must carry around a security card and open all the doors for yourself.

IN PRISON...you can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK...you get fired for watching TV and playing games.

IN PRISON...you get your own toilet.
AT WORK... you have to share with some idiot who pees on the toilet.

IN PRISON...they allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK...you can't speak to your family.

IN PRISON...all expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required.
AT WORK...you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.

IN PRISON...you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out.
AT WORK...you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.

IN PRISON...you must deal with sadistic wardens.
AT WORK...they are called managers.

[Warik]

Do they have some type of Monday-Friday 9-5 type deal for prison?

[daryn]

yeah for the guards

[BreakEvenPlayer]

Hey TT where's all the stuff about butt sex? You can't make this post funny without delving into the hilarious world of prison butt sex.

[jagoff]

Hey TT where's all the stuff about butt sex?

Time to put back the shower curtain, the baby oil and put on my clothes. I was anxiously awaiting some butt sex comparisons like...

PRISON: You get corn holed by a guy named Leroy.
WORK: You get corn holed by your boss because you have no spine.

[Warik]

[ QUOTE ]
yeah for the guards

[/ QUOTE ]

That doesn't count... technically, they're at "WORK:"

[Warik]

[ QUOTE ]
You can't make this post funny without delving into the hilarious world of prison butt sex.

[/ QUOTE ]

PRISON: You get reamed a few times a week by a scary man named "Bubba."
WORK: You get reamed a few times a day by a scary man named "Boss."

[Yeknom58]

woa, woa, woa,

Your cube is 6x8!! My crappy cube is like 6x6 and I don't even have 3 full height walls.

[Big Mo]

[ QUOTE ]
Hey TT where's all the stuff about butt sex? You can't make this post funny without delving into the hilarious world of prison butt sex.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'll give you some baby. Come to Big Mo.

[LondonBroil]

[ QUOTE ]
IN PRISON...you spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell.
AT WORK...you spend the majority of your time in a 6X8 cubicle.

[/ QUOTE ]

My office is 12x30.

[GrannyMae]

My office is 12x30.

oh my, that IS a big office you have there!!

got your own toilet?

http://smilies.sofrayt.com/%5E/i0/kloguck.gif

[Blarg]

That's pretty funny.

But you know, in some prisons they have cable t.v. I don't have cable t.v.

In some prisons they have basketball courts, baseball diamonds, even rodeos. My apartment complex doesn't have anything like that.

In some prisons they have tennis courts. I don't have a tennis court.

But I guess being without some things in the outside world isn't too bad. If I can't find the soap, there's no reason to panic.

[ilya]

I once spent 3 days in prison (jail, technically) and it made me want to never work again. So, I became a poker player. True story.

[wdbaker]

[ QUOTE ]
I once spent 3 days in prison (jail, technically) and it made me want to never work again. So, I became a poker player. True story.

[/ QUOTE ]

I feel a story coming on, please do tell...

One Street at a Time
wdbaker Denver, Co

[Warik]

[ QUOTE ]
Your cube is 6x8!! My crappy cube is like 6x6 and I don't even have 3 full height walls.

[/ QUOTE ]

Our employees' cubicles are 4x3. The walls are full height, but that doesn't really matter because unless their chairs are completely pushed in and their faces are buried in their monitors, they have no privacy whatsoever.

My office, however, is nice and big... and the A/C is strongest in here. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

[FlFishOn]

Fish, poker, sleep - repeat.

[LinusKS]

IN PRISON...you spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell.
AT WORK...it's illegal for them to lock you up.

IN PRISON...you get three meals a day.
AT WORK...you eat food that doesn't give you diarhea, or cramps, or worms.

IN PRISON...you get time off for good behavior.
AT WORK...you get paid.

IN PRISON...the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK...you're free to leave, if you want.

IN PRISON...you can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK...you can go to the bowling alley, instead of spending every night with "Bubba," playing spades.

IN PRISON...you get your own toilet, which you share with "Bubba," who sometimes shoves your head in the water.
AT WORK... you have to share with some idiot who pees on the toilet.

IN PRISON...they allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK...you get to go home to your family, and spend evenings and weekends with your friends.

IN PRISON...all expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required, except for the work you're required to do every day, scrubbing toilets, for .11 cents an hour.
AT WORK...you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.

IN PRISON...you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out.
AT WORK...you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars, which you get to do, every day, when the small hand touches five.

IN PRISON...you must deal with sadistic wardens.
AT WORK...managers aren't allowed to carry stun guns or nightsticks in case you get out of line.

[na4bart]

Very enjoyable! lol! This is so even though I spent many years inside one. By the way, your celly shares the toilet with you. They are not called cells, it is your 'house' and the guy in there with you is not your roommate, he's your celly. Go figure.

[Warik]

lol - nice counter-prison humor /images/graemlins/smile.gif

[Fat Bottomed Girls]

You better not drop your soap in the shower

[Steven Chunk]

[ QUOTE ]
In some prisons they have basketball courts, baseball diamonds, even rodeos. My apartment complex doesn't have anything like that.


[/ QUOTE ]

Practice makes perfect.

[Fat Bottomed Girls]

I was in prison for 3 days (jail technically), and the guards strip searched me. A guard did a body cavity search on me and she fell in!!

[Fat Bottomed Girls]

/images/graemlins/smirk.gif

[Yeknom58]

"My office, however, is nice and big... and the A/C is strongest in here"

Oh lord please put some salt in this man's morning coffee.