View Full Version : Why Won't God Answer My Prayers.
I prayed for a blowjob from a vivacious red haired big breasted babe but so far - nada.
I prayed for peace in the world but so far - nada.
I prayed that political posts would disappear from the Other Topics Forum but so far - nada.
I prayed to flop a flush at NL hold'em but so far - nada.
I prayed asking God to answer my prayers but so far - nada.
I prayed that on my next fly-fishing trip I would hook and land a 3 lbs cutthroat trout but so far - nada.
I prayed to God that no one would believe in him anymore but so far – nada.
I prayed to God asking Him to send everyone to Heaven regardless of their beliefs but so far - nada.
If God provides no answers, why should Bush or Kerry?
I then prayed to God about who to vote for, Bush or Kerry, and received an answer.
Bush is Better said God.
Argue with that all you political junkies and pundits!
-Zeno, Le Misanthrope and Atheist
Because you have not sent me 10% of your income to learn the Truth and the Light and the One True Path to enlightenment. Start sending money and I'll start issuing Bulls and Edicts and Indulgences and Fatwas and the like to save your soul.
Rushmore
09-12-2004, 12:27 AM
If we may agree that God is either stupid, evil, or non-existent, what may we assume about His endorsement of a presidential candidate?
Abednego
09-12-2004, 12:32 AM
God always answers prayer. His answer may not be the one you want but listen carefully for, "Yes," "No," or "Wait."
andyfox
09-12-2004, 12:37 AM
"Bush is Better said God."
Maybe he was responding to the first thing you prayed for.
elwoodblues
09-12-2004, 12:57 AM
Just because God's answer wasn't yes, doesn't mean there wasn't an answer.
The Dude
09-12-2004, 05:02 AM
lol, Andy. good stuff.
Rick Nebiolo
09-12-2004, 05:52 AM
If you have faith (or even an uncertain faith as I do) pray to God to help you develop the strength to deal with the challenges you might face in life. In other words, don't look to God as some sort of "cellestial butler".
~ Rick
MMMMMM
09-12-2004, 06:21 AM
"If you have faith (or even an uncertain faith as I do) pray to God to help you develop the strength to deal with the challenges you might face in life. In other words, don't look to God as some sort of "cellestial butler".
~ Rick"
Good point, Rick.
On a broader note, I think people typically (and perhaps unavoidably) too narrowly define "God".
It is very easy to define God as something impossible, like a philosophical paradox. Yet if there is God, God is probably beyond our ability to define anyway.
NLSoldier
09-12-2004, 06:32 AM
[ QUOTE ]
Yet if there is God, God is probably beyond our ability to define anyway.
[/ QUOTE ]
Ive never thought about it that way before...That is a very intersting point.
[ QUOTE ]
Why Won't God Answer My Prayers.
[/ QUOTE ]
God hates you, that's what it is.
Hate him back, it works for me.
~D
[ QUOTE ]
If we may agree that God is either stupid, evil, or non-existent, what may we assume about His endorsement of a presidential candidate?
[/ QUOTE ]
Not only that, how do I know I received a correct answer or an answer at all? Isn't it all interpretation?
-Zeno
[ QUOTE ]
Because you have not sent me 10% of your income to learn the Truth and the Light and the One True Path to enlightenment. Start sending money and I'll start issuing Bulls and Edicts and Indulgences and Fatwas and the like to save your soul.
[/ QUOTE ]
The checks in the mail. /images/graemlins/smirk.gif
-Zeno
[ QUOTE ]
God always answers prayer. His answer may not be the one you want but listen carefully for, "Yes," "No," or "Wait."
[/ QUOTE ]
I will assume you are serious. Is God some rudimentary computer program? Perhaps this God was preprogrammed by a committee of other more powerful Gods to take care of all the prayers by certain entities on one planet. And there is a preprogrammed God for each planet in the universe with sentient life forms. Thus, this proposed committee of Gods would get on with other more important business and not be bothered with the pious platitudes and illogical caterwauling of worshipful beings.
-Zeno
jwvdcw
09-12-2004, 01:03 PM
[ QUOTE ]
God always answers prayer. His answer may not be the one you want but listen carefully for, "Yes," "No," or "Wait."
[/ QUOTE ]
I heard a cool sermon once that said the answer to every prayer is "God." That is that whenever you pray, God simply gives you more of Him. If you ask for something and it'll bring you closer to God, he'll give it to you. If you ask for something that isn't in God's plans, God will allow you to understand why not, thus bringing you closer to Him.
[ QUOTE ]
Just because God's answer wasn't yes, doesn't mean there wasn't an answer.
[/ QUOTE ]
How do you know what the answer is? What's the cretiera? How do you interpret an answer? Can you interpeate an answer in the wrong way. How does the answer come about?
The Bush is Better answer came to me in a vision - God came charging out of the bowels of the earth on a large Arabian stallion, a sword in one hand and a large balance in the other and the Voice of the Lord roared like a 1000 lions saying – ‘Bush is Better’.
Was this a vision from God or was it maybe from Satan or from the Archangel Gabriel? Or perhaps from some other spirit, either good, bad, or neutral, that populates the unseen world?
-Zeno
[ QUOTE ]
In other words, don't look to God as some sort of "cellestial butler".
[/ QUOTE ]
You mean God is not Jeeves? I say, this is quite a rude shock, What.
I find the metaphysical mumbo-jumbo of 'Faith' to be both vile and inimical to any thinking rational being.
-Zeno
bigpooch
09-12-2004, 01:23 PM
It's really quite simple! You are simply praying to the
wrong god. Consider the passage of 1 Ki 18:16-40. (I would
like to add that perhaps you should flap your arms and shout
as loud as you can all of your prayers to YOUR god who
obviously has no real power whatsoever! /images/graemlins/smile.gif )
[ QUOTE ]
It is very easy to define God as something impossible, like a philosophical paradox. Yet if there is God, God is probably beyond our ability to define anyway.
[/ QUOTE ]
So, It may make as much sense to nail a Sears Vacumn Cleaner to my bedroom wall and pray to it as to pray to some undefiniable 'thing'.
-Zeno
bigpooch
09-12-2004, 01:32 PM
At least a Sears Vacuum Cleaner uses some power; some gods
that are prayed to have none! /images/graemlins/smile.gif
[ QUOTE ]
God hates you, that's what it is.
Hate him back, it works for me.
[/ QUOTE ]
Hate is a waste of time and energy in my opinion, especially on some undefiniable 'thing' that I am quite sure does not exist. So I think indifference is a better approach.
-Zeno
I remember that story well. It is a Sunday School Standard. My God (The Lord) is bigger and better [or exists while your god does not] than your God (Baal) - something that children can easily relate to and, unfortuntely, the majority of adults also.
Elijah becomes very sarcastic and I love his teaseing of the Baal Prophets: [v. 27, Good News Bible translation]
At noon Elijah started making fun of them: "Pray louder! He is a God! Maybe he is day-dreaming or relieving himself, or perhaps he's gone off on a trip! Or maybe he's sleeping, and you've got to wake him up!"
Elijah was a salty old prophet. He persoanlly killed, down by Kishon Brook, all the prophets of Baal, after they lost the fire and flame contest.
-Zeno
Ok, Mr. Smith. How's the farming in Nevada coming?
benfranklin
09-12-2004, 02:53 PM
[ QUOTE ]
And there is a preprogrammed God for each planet in the universe with sentient life forms.
-Zeno
[/ QUOTE ]
I think you are shaky grounds to begin with if you are assuming this applies to our planet.
benfranklin
09-12-2004, 02:55 PM
[ QUOTE ]
Bush is Better said God.
-Zeno, Le Misanthrope and Atheist
[/ QUOTE ]
Are you sure he wasn't talking about canned beans /images/graemlins/confused.gif
MMMMMM
09-12-2004, 02:55 PM
It may, but not necessarily.
Rushmore
09-12-2004, 03:02 PM
[ QUOTE ]
Not only that, how do I know I received a correct answer or an answer at all? Isn't it all interpretation?
[/ QUOTE ]
Of course. But when you use the term "God," you set certain ground rules.
Short of being an ontology, simply referring to Him is cause enough for context, and the "interpretation aspect," while always prevalent, becomes fairly marginalized.
To recap:
Oh, never mind. (sigh.)
Stu Pidasso
09-12-2004, 04:03 PM
[ QUOTE ]
It is very easy to define God as something impossible, like a philosophical paradox. Yet if there is God, God is probably beyond our ability to define anyway.
[/ QUOTE ]
Coming up with a rational definition for God is pretty easy. God is simply the first cause in the cause and effect chain that we exist in today.
Stu
MMMMMM
09-12-2004, 04:26 PM
"Coming up with a rational definition for God is pretty easy. God is simply the first cause in the cause and effect chain that we exist in today.
Stu"
That is quite possible, but I would not say it is certain.
I also see no reason to presume an ultimate "beginning" as necessarily more likely than an eternal continuum.
Even now the Big Bang theory is being seriously questioned as to whether anything existed before the Big Bang. Who knows, there might have been a Bang-Bang-Bang... series stretching backwards, perhaps indefinitely.
There are myriad presumptions that people tend to make for defining God, or postulating the beginning of all things.
I don't favor a "creation" view any more or less than an "eternal" view. The process of creation and destruction and re-creation might be an eternal process.
In a smaller or more local sense, we tend to view certain events or processes in our lives, or in history, as having beginnings and ends. That is due to our arbitrary selection of cutoff points. When great changes take place, it is natural to view those points as beginnings or ends of some sort. In reality though, they are just part of a larger continuum of change, of becoming, of creation, of decay. Whether or not the universe and Creation itself follow this model on the largest scale is quite a question.
I do think there is some special undefined spark that exists in all of us and in Creation itself--and if I were to attribute anything to God, it would have to include that special spark, whatever it is.
Jimbo
09-12-2004, 04:39 PM
[ QUOTE ]
and if I were to attribute anything to God, it would have to include that special spark, whatever it is.
[/ QUOTE ]
MMMMMM,
In case you have an inside track to any qualifiying deity would you see if you could get that spark sent to Cyrus? Preferably at 10,000 volts with 20 amps of current. /images/graemlins/smile.gif /images/graemlins/smile.gif
Jimbo
I always thought God's stock answer was "it depends..."
MMMMMM
09-12-2004, 05:17 PM
[ QUOTE ]
MMMMMM,
In case you have an inside track to any qualifiying deity would you see if you could get that spark sent to Cyrus? Preferably at 10,000 volts with 20 amps of current.
Jimbo
[/ QUOTE ]
Hey Jimbo, you have spoiled the surprise!
On second thought it might be better this way, since foreknowledge certainly won't help Cyrus escape his fate and may in fact give him time to repent and reform.
Cyrus
09-12-2004, 07:33 PM
That was not The Almighty who told you to vote for Bush.
That was His secretary.
She's an old hag, a hold-over from the Old Testament days. But she is the real power in the office. You gotta start being nice to her.
Abednego
09-12-2004, 07:40 PM
I gotta give this one to you .... great reply
Abednego
09-12-2004, 07:42 PM
File this one under "The finite can not comprehend in infinite."
scalf
09-12-2004, 07:44 PM
/images/graemlins/grin.gif your problems will really intensify, if ya actually get what ya pray for...
perhaps if ya took a look at your consciousness' rather than intellect; there would be better understanding...
in all thy getting; get understanding..
gl
/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /images/graemlins/club.gif
Abednego
09-12-2004, 07:46 PM
I am serious. There is one God and he cares deeply for all His creation. Do you not know Him?
natedogg
09-12-2004, 09:06 PM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
God always answers prayer. His answer may not be the one you want but listen carefully for, "Yes," "No," or "Wait."
[/ QUOTE ]
I heard a cool sermon once that said the answer to every prayer is "God." That is that whenever you pray, God simply gives you more of Him. If you ask for something and it'll bring you closer to God, he'll give it to you. If you ask for something that isn't in God's plans, God will allow you to understand why not, thus bringing you closer to Him.
[/ QUOTE ]
What a load of nonsense. Typical stuff from purveyors of religion.
natedogg
Stu Pidasso
09-13-2004, 04:08 AM
[ QUOTE ]
I also see no reason to presume an ultimate "beginning" as necessarily more likely than an eternal continuum.
Even now the Big Bang theory is being seriously questioned as to whether anything existed before the Big Bang. Who knows, there might have been a Bang-Bang-Bang... series stretching backwards, perhaps indefinitely.
[/ QUOTE ]
Interesting.
Suppose the nature of the universe is such that there is a big bang, the universe expands for a while but ultimately collapses in upon itself until there is another big bang and thus the universe is reborn. A process which has been going on for a contiuum (or eternity).
If matter and energy is finite then perhaps the number of ways it could be ordered is finite as well. If matter and energy can only be ordered in a finite number of ways then in a sense everything that has existed has already existed an infinite number or times. In this sense everything is eternal.
Stu
http://members.optusnet.com.au/longi1/kneemail.jpg
NotReady
09-13-2004, 07:02 AM
Primary reason:
Zeno, Le Misanthrope and Atheist
Other reasons:
James 4:3
You ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives ...
Hebrews 11:6
And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him.
As in:
Philippians 4:19
And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.
NotReady
09-13-2004, 07:08 AM
[ QUOTE ]
I find the metaphysical mumbo-jumbo of 'Faith' to be both vile and inimical to any thinking rational being.
[/ QUOTE ]
It isn't the act of faith that matters, everyone lives by faith. It is the object of faith that counts.
NotReady
09-13-2004, 07:27 AM
[ QUOTE ]
That is quite possible, but I would not say it is certain.
I also see no reason to presume an ultimate "beginning" as necessarily more likely than an eternal continuum.
Even now the Big Bang theory is being seriously questioned as to whether anything existed before the Big Bang. Who knows, there might have been a Bang-Bang-Bang... series stretching backwards, perhaps indefinitely.
There are myriad presumptions that people tend to make for defining God, or postulating the beginning of all things.
I don't favor a "creation" view any more or less than an "eternal" view. The process of creation and destruction and re-creation might be an eternal process.
[/ QUOTE ]
This describes much of the difficulty for finite minds. To a time-bound creature who can only think in terms of cause and effect, and to whom no immanentistic answer is truly satisfying, the notion of eternal cause and effect is hardly any better. Man wants meaning and purpose. A random beginning from nothing for no reason no less than an unceasing recycling of brute fact provides no fundamental meaning, nor even the possibility of meaning.
jagoff
09-13-2004, 11:05 AM
God hates you, that's what it is.
Hate him back, it works for me.
Yep! I got 15 years of proof to back that up!
jagoff
09-13-2004, 11:07 AM
I prayed for a blowjob from a vivacious red haired big breasted babe but so far - nada.
The reason this was not answered is simply...big breasted, red heads DO NOT exist! Have you ever seen one? I bet she had implants!
ArchAngel71857
09-13-2004, 11:08 AM
Why Won't God Answer My Prayers.
Because you touch yourself at night.
-AA
[ QUOTE ]
Why Won't God Answer My Prayers.
Because you touch yourself at night.
-AA
[/ QUOTE ]
Only my toes ArchAngel71857.
But thanks for the response.
-Zeno
I have two bibles, a KJV and a more modern translation, and read and know 'Gods Word' quite well. I also dabble in theology, an interesting and twisting road to travel.
I appreciate the bible quotes but really there is no need for all this.
-Zeno
NotReady
09-13-2004, 12:18 PM
Glad to hear it, point taken.
pokerjo22
09-13-2004, 04:42 PM
Because she tends to get pissed off when you keep referring to Her as a Him.
/images/graemlins/grin.gif
[ QUOTE ]
Because she tends to get pissed off when you keep referring to Her as a Him.
[/ QUOTE ]
Amusing, but this quip is a bit frayed from overuse. God is a noun and gender neutral in English Grammar, but with obvious emotive and historical baggage.
It is always interesting to observe that the projected personality of God is, more often than not, nothing more than that of an overblown human, male or female.
In the long and illustrious history of Godism on this planet the sexual concept of God or Gods only points strongly to the anthropomorphism of this human invention.
-Zeno
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