The Dangers Of Illegal Card Rooms

I can't believe my wife didn't tell me about this until today. Her firm has a case where this guy wanted to open an illegal card room in the basement of his bar. The bar is just a beer bar, but it's a real dump. I've never been in there, and I don't intend to go. It is a place where old drunks go and sign their social security check over and drink until that runs out. Then they go collect cans or something to drink on. Out front is half bikes, half trucks from between '68 and '72. I have read the occasional police report from there. Anyway, owner decides that the IV beer business isn't enough, a card room is needed. So he starts cutting and stuff between walls into the basement. Puts a trap door or hidden passage or something in. I don't have the architectural details. Needless to say, he does not apply for building permits, etc...


Now, the owner rented part of his place to a restaurant that failed at another location. A customer of that restaurant had to go to the bathroom. Somehow, he managed to fall through this homemade trapdoor or passage between the bathrooms and land in the basement. On his head. He has a bad brain injury and is in rehab with cognitive impairments, can't function, etc... The bar owner only carried 500K for premises liability, so that should be forked over to the wife's firm. But the owner is married to a rich professional (see how smart some guys are) so he may not be out of the woods even if his insurance pays.


Anyway, what I'm thinking is that my wife's firm could end up owning a bar and a partially completed cardroom. She thought I was kidding when I said I could stick a .45 in my waistband, a sap in my back pocket, don latex gloves and pour some beer for the wrecks. I figure with a $2 rake in 15-30 or 20-40 we could get some 2+2ers in. The cardroom was almost done after all. Just need better flooring and more insurance right? I could give out my card and get some DUI defense work too. One stop shopping. /images/smile.gif

Deal me in. I'll show up with my 9mm Beretta. I've also got my eye on a another Beretta, a 40 caliber. God gave me two hands so I figure I need at least two guns. You my need the back up.


Also, you will need a 12 gauge behind the bar and the cashiers cage for the heavy duty work. Remember, No carpet in the card room and have at least two floormen that could be defensive linebackers for the steelers. The dealers should be relatively attactive women to help kept the suckers coming back (and everyone else). Serve food that is cheap and quick; the food will not have to make you much money - the rake and booze should do that for you. Oh yea - one more thing, you will have to pay off the cops. Your on your own on that one.


Good Luck -- Zeno

now that's some positive thinking...might be a challenge to the commerce...but you'll probably get censored when they figger out you are legit..and not advertising...also spm will show up..just a vacation..no card rooms in the area..lol..gl

Finally, a decent place to play! I'm sick of all the dumps I go to. You could have Greyhound run excursions from LA and really clean up.


One thing, though. I think you may have the format wrong. Try playing no limit, 2&5 blinds with a $25 buy-in. That'll really get the juices flowing.

Guns, booze and illegal gambling. Yeah, baby!

I think the Greyhound stop is nearby actually.

Don't forget the rich wife part. Pity PokerBabe, Jennifer Harman, & Annie Duke ain't single.

The general guideline for guns is to have enough that the woman in your life refers to them as "all those guns." Once you hit that number, you have a chance of adding to your collection without her noticing. If you only have one, you have a ways to go. 4 or 5 pistols and several long guns should get you about there.