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View Full Version : Why men die sooner than women. OT


thomastem
08-11-2004, 10:42 AM
Do you know how tough it is being a man...?

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you're a male chauvinist.
If you stay home and do the housework, you're a pansy.

If you work too hard there is never any time for her.
If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your butt and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favoritism.
If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.

If you cry, you're a wimp.
If you don't, you're an insensitive pig.

If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist.
If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination. If she asks you, it's a favor.

If you appreciate the female form and frilly lingerie, you're a pervert. If you don't, then you can’t be straight.

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, you're sexist.
If you don't, you're unromantic.

If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain.
If you don't, you're a slob.

If you buy her flowers, you're after something. If you don't, you're not thoughtful.

If you're proud of your achievements, you're full of yourself.
If you don't, you're not ambitious enough.

If she has a headache, she's tired.
If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore.

Critters have less problems.......

Thythe
08-11-2004, 11:02 AM
[ QUOTE ]
If she has a headache, she's tired.
If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore.


[/ QUOTE ]

This is by far the best one.

Tosh
08-11-2004, 11:05 AM
Man that is quality.

playerfl
08-11-2004, 11:09 AM
I think this is why women think men are either assh*les or not good enough for them. Sometimes its better to be the assh*le.

Gator
08-11-2004, 12:33 PM
I always heard the line -- Why do men die before women - answer: because they want to.

drewjustdrew
08-11-2004, 12:36 PM
Henny Youngman

At least that is who said it in "Amazon Women on the Moon."

AAmaz0n
08-11-2004, 02:24 PM
[ QUOTE ]
Henny Youngman

At least that is who said it in "Amazon Women on the Moon."

[/ QUOTE ]

Funny, I don't remember ever being on the moon. /images/graemlins/cool.gif

I think that you guys are overexagerating how critical women are. We are very understanding of mens..........shortcomings.

BTW, do these jeans make me look fat?

Shauna

drewjustdrew
08-11-2004, 02:45 PM
Reminds me of one of my favorite jokes, Aamazon. Here is the short version:

Wife wants bigger boobs and asks husband if she should get breast implants.
Husband says "I have a natural solution. Once or twice a day, rub your breasts with toilet paper."

Wife - "Will that really work?"

Husband - "Well, it did for your butt!!!"

Bubbagump
08-11-2004, 04:06 PM
[ QUOTE ]
Sometimes its better to be the assh*le.

[/ QUOTE ]

Or single.... Oh, how I miss being single. /images/graemlins/frown.gif

Bubbagump

CCass
08-11-2004, 04:18 PM
They look fine from here.