GummyWorm is worthless

So I've been thinking... a lot.


Let me digress. I am (used to be) GummyWorm. Once upon a time, many moons ago, I posted here. Vince responded to one of my posts, and said that it was the first of my posts he had read, because of my name. Shallow or not, I realized that a name means something...so I changed my posting name to that of my real name, sorta. GummyWorm is a worthless name. Yeah, it has some historical significance, but man, GummyWorm was a losing poker player. It's not good to be littering this forum with tales of loss, and that's what GummyWorm was doing.


So I took some time off. Really, I did. Sorta.


See, a bunch of friends started playing online, so I decided to take a stab. Mostly, I was playing in tournies on Paradise. Let me tell you, there is oodles of money to be made there. Heck, if I can (and, yes, I can), then anybody can.


And I was doing a little reading. When last we spoke, I vowed to get through HPFAP. I'm trying, really I am. But it's a slow process. I'm still reading it, and someday I may even finish it. But not yet.


Then something funny happened. I was at work today, and man, I just got the bug. You know the one...the one that says "Go play some cards". And who am I to argue with the bug? So I went.


Of course, I didn't really have any money on me, so I swing by the ATM, pull out $300, head up to Commerce, and get in a 9-18 game. Yeah, I'm shortstacked. So I'll just play really tight.


I know most of the players in my game, which is good. I doubt many of them know me, since they haven't seen me recently, and many of them don't care a lick about their opponents, they only care about their 2 cards.


The first hand I play I have 44 in the SB. Two limpers, a very loose raiser raises, I call, BB calls, 5 see flop of J 5 4, two clubs. I checkraise the turn (the bettor was not the preflop raiser, so I got him trapped in there), and viola, I'm up about 160. Cool beans.


And I immediately started questioning myself...."Josh, it was only 5 handed, and you basically coldcalled a raise w/ a small pocket pair out of position". "Josh, you know to never slowplay bottom set, and you waited until the turn to raise". "Josh, are you sure you are ready for this?"


I got up and walked around, made a phone call or two, then sat back down.


I get QTo in the BB, and there are 3 limpers. Flop comes Q88, two spades. I bet, and a player in early position calls, though it looks like he wants to raise. He used to be fairly tight, and I fear the worst. All others fold.


Turn is a 3, check, check. River is the 2s. I check, he checks. He has Q5c, I win. Hmmm, I swear he used to be tight.


And I thought to myself "Well done...you didn't push a weak hand out of position". But then I thought about the fruitplate left out there on the turn.


I got up again, took a deep breath or four, and sat back down. I don't know what happened then.


Loose raiser raises, first in in middle position. I call in the BB w/ AJo. heads up. Flop comes all rags, turn is Kc, putting two clubs up there. I check, he bets, and I call without hesitation. River is a blank, check check. He shows QTc, and I win. It just felt right. But again, I questioned myself "Josh, why did you call the turn...you coulda been drawing dead, and there was no money in the pot".


Then, I'm threebetting an openended straight on the flop 3handed, with no backdoor draw. That's gotta be a sin, right?


So many questions, so much uncertainty. Then I lose KK when I flop a set.


Then I raise 3 limpers w/ QQ on the button. FLop comes AT4, rainbow. Checked to me, and I check. I know, many will advocate betting here, but I figured that there wasn't much of a chance of any card really scaring me on the turn.


Turn is a Jh, putting two hearts out there. Checked to me, I bet, two call (obviously gutshots w/ a pair, maybe one has a H draw), and I get checkraised by a tricky player whom respects me greatly. I fold, feeling he has AJ at the very least. We know each other very well.


Well, he had AK (why'd he limp? it was sooted, and a very loose table, so I guess he prescribes to the Mike Caro school of thought), river a Q, and he had to chop w/ KTo.


I don't think I misplayed it, but all of the sudden, I'm only up $50. I then win a huge pot w/ AA in the BB capped 5 ways preflop. Two hands later, I have AA on the button, win another decent pot. THen I lose a huge pot w/ AKh.


But all in all, I'm doing well, and slowly the questions fade from my brain.


And I cashed out shortly thereafter, an $800 winner. Nice little day, I thought.


Then I was driving home. I was thinking about my thoughts. And it donned on me. So much of my previous troubles were from thinking too much. I was trying to calculate pot odds on the spot, trying to remember specific instances of players doing such and such, trying to think about how every move affected my image.


But here's the thing, and there's really no getting around this....the 9-18 at Commerce is soft. If you have a mind for the game, and you just play, you will win. You don't need to outthink anybody. You don't need to outplay a soul. You can put it on autopilot, and succeed.


I need to quit thinking again. Months ago, when I was having success, I wasn't thinking, I was just playing, just going with what I know works. I didn't question myself. I didn't try to outsmart doorstops. I didn't work at it, it just came naturally. And it felt great.


And for a few hours this afternoon, I felt the soothing calmness of what poker is. I felt it for the first time in 6 or 7 months.


And let me tell you, I missed it. I missed not being at the April 26th conference. I missed not posting on these forums. I missed not being able to shuffle chips. I missed it. For the last few months, it wasn't as much fun as it should have been.


But for a brief window this afternoon, it was again. It was awesome. It is awesome. It will be awesome again.


And I'm thankful.


Josh W.

u shouldnt play poker u should be a writer!!!

great post, glad your back!

Good luck pal.


3 2 1

Sometimes I live in the country

Sometimes I live in the town

Sometimes I get a great notion

To jump in the river and drown


---The late great Ken Keysey from his book "Sometimes a Great Notion"


Don't know why Mr. Josh, but the little ditty above seems to match the mood of your message which I enjoyed reading.


Don't you read anything into it that isn't there, mind. I just get the same sense of restrained recklessness from both your words and the song. Best of luck to you on your search. LTL


PS - You reckon the name-changing thing you mentioned helps?

Should be writin' books. Engrossing stuff!

You probably are outthinking yourself. I think you're taking every situation and in retrospect, you're trying back-fit a strategy to find the right play. "What poker theme does this hand represent," you ask. But since poker is a game of balancing opposing considerations, you will always be able to find a fault with your play.


<BLOCKQUOTE>Loose raiser raises, first in in middle position. I call in the BB w/ AJo. heads up. Flop comes all rags, turn is Kc, putting two clubs up there. I check, he bets, and I call without hesitation. River is a blank, check check. He shows QTc, and I win. It just felt right. But again, I questioned myself "Josh, why did you call the turn...you coulda been drawing dead, and there was no money in the pot". </BLOCKQUOTE>


Yes, a small pot suggest folding a marginal hand. However, headsup against a loose player suggests playing a marginal hand. Your job is to determine which is more important. You will have to violate one, so you can't discourage yourself for choosing.


FWIW, I think that on this flop, against the range of hands that your opponent could have, you are winning a fair percentage of the time. You are getting better than even odds. I would play the hand while looking to see a showdown or force the issue; I would not fold without first putting in a bet or raise somewhere.


<BLOCKQUOTE>

I get QTo in the BB, and there are 3 limpers. Flop comes Q88, two spades. I bet, and a player in early position calls, All others fold.


Turn is a 3, check, check. River is the 2s. I check, he checks. He has Q5c, I win. Hmmm, I swear he used to be tight.


And I thought to myself "Well done...you didn't push a weak hand out of position". But then I thought about the fruitplate left out there on the turn.

</BLOCKQUOTE>


Here it's push a weak hand out of position vs. not give free cards/bet your hand until you think it's no good. You can't do both.


I would be concerned about getting raised on the turn. I don't like calling because I fear a better Q, but I don't like folding since headsup this could be a semibluff or free showdown raise.


Stop second guessing yourself! Do your second guessing before you make your play, and you can call it "considering alternatives".


Dan

I also find your story telling excellent!


Just one of the hands I'll comment on:


"I get QTo in the BB, and there are 3 limpers. Flop comes Q88, two spades. I bet, and a player in early position calls, though it looks like he wants to raise."


Strong means weak, but even without the tell, at least bet when he checks the river to you if you don't bet the turn ( which I think is only a small mistake ).


D.

Dude,


We don't need the melodramatic post titles and the self-involved prolix soliloquys that are obviously and very transparently designed to elicit sympathy from the forum. Just post hands.


We know you think you are a very good card player and you have gone through a bad streak. I'm sure you feel like you have made a fresh start here, but if you had really turned over a new leaf would you have told everyone in the first line of your post that you used to be that poor, self-pitying wretch known as GummyWorm? Usually those who have changed their identities make it a point to conceal their old ones; you blurt yours out on line 1. Why do this? You can probably guess my answer.


Leave the didactic posts to Tommy, he's the best at them. I think he would describe your condition as "entitlement disease". Disentangle your emotions and desire for validation from the cold probablities of gambling. Just post hands.


Only my opinion,

Lance

Hold up - you played last night? When did you take off? I was there inthe 9 from about 9 until 12 or so, where running bad finally ended on a nice all-in before the turn with KK against AA.


Then the deck hit me in the head in the 6-12 I jumped in. It was bad. I played 10 hands in a row (3 were TERRIBLE calls, and 4 were marginal) and won them all, though half of them were small pots (people guessed that I was running too good to play against, I guess).


Damn. Well, I'll be there again tonight most likely, unless work kicks my ass. I'll look for you.


And I HATE walking in there with no cash, and the ATM's and their fucking $300 limit.


Oh well.


See you around.


~D

If he's such a great writer, why does he say "prescribes to the Mike Caro school" instead of the correct "subscribes?" Why does he say "donned on me" instead of "dawned on me?" Why does he say "calmness" instead of "calm?" Why does he make the totally illogical assertion that he "missed NOT posting,... missed NOT shuffling chips," etc.,when he obviously means that he missed posting, missed shuffling chips, etc.?

Just changed my name, hoping that people who refused my posts before because of a silly name are over that.

He had position on me, I checked, then he checked behind. I was first to act, so I couldn't bet after he checked.

Lance -


Thanks for the reply, sincerely.


My thought process for the post went something like this:


1.) I want to post

2.) Some very smart people won't read my post simply because of my name.

3.) I should change my name.

4.) People who are not as well-known around here don't get read as often.

5.) I want to get read, not for ego purposes, but for breadth of responses.

6.) I need to get a title that makes me seem familiar.

7.) I know, I'll include "GummyWorm" in the title, thus incorporating a psuedo-well-known name.

8.) I'll make the title brash.


So I did. And I'm not one to cast stones all that often, so I took the opening lines to tell people that I wasn't some new poster looking to cast stones at GummyWorm. Then, I'd be (rightfully) viewed as scum. See, I had a lot of goals. Doing what I did satisfied them all. Perhaps there was another way to reach the same end. I don't really care if there was. I DO care about how I should have played my QTo, or my QQ.


If you read my threads, you would know that the last thing in the world I want is sympathy. A few months ago, I started a thread who's title I cannot recall now. In that thread, a poster stated that he wanted to kick my ass for playing so stupidly. I responded to him 3 times, once for each time I read it, and once for each time I I found a new point in it. I don't post here for sympathy. I post here because there are many great poker minds who can help me become a better player. I'll be honest, I like seeing the "Nice Post *NM*" replies under my post, but I would much prefer "Here's where you screwed the Pooch".


Lastly, you say:


"Leave the didactic posts to Tommy, he's the best at them."


Well, I can't speak to intelligently towards this, as I do not know what didactic means, and I don't care to look it up. But I can surely tell that you do not seem to be any sort of fan of progress, do you?


Again, thanks for the post. I mean that sincerely, even though this post may make it appear otherwise.


Josh

I left at a little after 7:00...didn't feel like losing any money back /images/smile.gif. I may be there tonite, if I get stood up by a chica, which its starting to look like will happen...


Josh

So you snuck out of work--a least your session

a was bit less than 21 hours (lol)!


BTW, how good are the 9-18 games at the Commerce?

It was late. That's my only excuse, and a bad one at that. Point taken, and given to King5 (which, by the way, is an NBC affiliate in Seattle).


Prescribe vs. Subscribe is one of my pet peeves when people misuse it. And now, I've succumbed. I do blame this on the hour.


What was I missing? Clearly an example of botched grammar.


Donned vs Dawned - now I'm confused. I honestly thought it was "Donned", like I would DON a hat. So I look up DON, and after all of the Spanish Titles definitions, there is "To put on, or dress in" (Random House, Websters, College Edition). I felt like I was dressing myself in this thought, that this thought and I were merging. I'm not 100% sure that I used this wrong, but if more people say I did, or somebody can better explain this, I'll admit defeat.


But thanks, King5, for explaining to people that they in no way should enjoy my posts. Perhaps I need a preface like the one in HPFAP. Only, I won't be making people money, I may make them smile. Which is better?


or is it "Which is more better?" I just don't know. I'm glad you'll straighten it out for me, though.


Josh

So I decided to look up didactic, and I come accross "Intended for Instruction" (Random House, Websters, College Edition).


Hmmm, makes you think, doesn't it. Either you also didn't know what Didactic meant (and I certainly wouldn't blame you, I didn't know), or you feel that THE ONLY POSTS OF ANY INSTRUCTIVE VALUE ON THIS FORUM are from Tommy. Now, I love Tommy's posts, and I hope he doesn't hold it against me if I say this, but I actually find instructive value in others' posts as well. I'm sorry you don't. You really are missing out. That Mason guy, that Jim Brier Guy, Clarkemeister, Bob Morgan, Dynasty, PokerBabe, mike l., Andy Fox, NateDogg, and the dozens I'm forgetting (PokerGuy, Mikelow, sundevil) (man, i shouldn't have started this list, cuz now I'll feel bad) they know a thing or two about poker as well. And I, unlike you, feel like they should continue their didactic posts.


Josh

I love 'em, slider hates 'em. You need to be willing to take bad beats, as I've seen tougher 4-8 games.


And I was at work from 7 a.m. - 1 p.m., 7:30 to 11 p.m. A good day. Too many meetings in the afternoon. It's just better for all involved if I'm not there /images/smile.gif


Josh

"Sometimes A Great Notion" - one of my favorite books of all time.

Sorry to have come across so vehemently.Actually, I often do enjoy your posts although I also tend often to find them annoyingly self-absorbed. As for dawned on vs donned on, when something suddenly becomes clear to you it's similar to the dawn dispelling the darkness of the night. So an idea dawning on you is like the sun dawning on the landscape. And while you would say that you donned some clothing, you wouldn't say that some clothing "donned on you."Anyway, I found it classy that you took time to respond politely to my ill-tempered post and I wish you luck as long as we're never at the same table.

I know for a fact that it's dawned. You would say, "I donned my hat," but you should say, "It dawned on me..." look up dawn in the dictionary and you'll see:


Dawn 1. Daybreak 2. the beginning of something 3. begin to become eveident or understood


#3 is the one ya want. Hope this helps!

My dictionary (Webster's Ninth New Collegiate) gives a definition of "intended to convey instruction and information as well as pleasure and entertainment." That seems to be the meaning that Lance had in mind.

I'm a Merriam-Webster man, myself:


didactic 1 a : designed or intended to teach b : intended to convey instruction and information as well as pleasure and entertainment


I meant that I find Tommy's poker stories more entertaining than your story-length poker lamentations and tales of heroic triumph over inner demons.


My point is that you don't see Tommy, Dynasty, Clarkmeister, 3 Bet Brett, etc. posting these syrupy tales of their noble struggle against the uncaring Poker Gods. They just re-read HPFAP, post hands, try to plug leaks, and take the whims of the gods with stoicism.


I found a post called "How much have you ever lost in a single session" on the General forum very surprising. Some regular posters responded with some very big losses. My surprise mostly stemmed from the fact I have never read a "Terrible day at 20-40" whine session from any of them on this forum, which anyone would be tempted to post given the amounts of $ they dropped. These guys exude dedication to solid play and stoicism in defeat. I guess I just don't get that from your posts.


Anyway, this was never meant to be a personal attack or an "I'm better than you" thing. You may be a better player than me; you definitely play higher limits. I hope you improve your game (I hope I improve mine, too). I personally think you need to fixate less on your emotional response to poker and more on reading HPFAP if you really are sincere about winning. Until then, I'll avoid any of your posts that look like novellas.


Good luck,

Lance

Thanks Josh!

Josh,


You mean you didn't look up "prolix"?


Just kidding, but don't let Lance's rather snooty response bother you. Sure, he knew a word you had to look up, but he used it without quite understanding its connotations. I don't mean to sound didactic here, but those writers Lance mentioned might not appreciate having their names associated with the term "didactic."


Funny thing about language, though. "Didactic" has now lost most of its positive connotations, and "prolix" has begun to lose its negative connotation.


John

Yes, yes I do. But I don't want to sit in a 15-30 with only a rack in front of me, and I've been running a little light recently.


~D

Don't worry about the diction, Josh. Worry about the ADdiction.


You were at work and got the "itch" huh? Scratch that itch enough and you will be scratching Lotto tickets soon instead of reporting for work.


In another life I was a suffering compulsive gambler. Not to fret, I survived it, and now use poker as a sort of Methadone--but very sparingly.


Everything in your post (thinking too much, self-deprecating whimsy, even your choice of games) tells me you MAY have a problem. I am not God or your Mommy, just a friendly voice which has sung its share of the blues. It's a tune worth hearing, but painful if replayed ad nauseam. Think more about why you play poker and not how you play--the introspection may help a little.

Bruce -


I greatly appreciate the post. If I thought that there was a 5% chance I couldn't quit, I'd be seeking help. I love the game, more than anybody I've ever met. I put in 20+ hour sessions because I love playing the game.


The whole bit about being at work and getting the itch is only partially true. I was supposed to meet some friends up there, as well.


My job will always have priority in my life over poker. I just posted on "News views and gossip", that if I had to choose between my girlfriend and poker, she'd win. I love poker, but I won't let it control me.


I'm fully convinced that I'm not addicted. That sounds cliche', but it's the truth.


But again, thanks for the post. It is something I do and will continue to keep in the forefront of my mind.


Josh

What girlfriend? Oh wait, do I know her brother?


But seriously, I think you do need to look at if you can or cannot live with poker. We (I and all our mutual friends) have heard your multiple claims of quitting poker, only to see you go back in a couple of days, maybe a week max. We all end up getting a big laugh out of how long your latest poker hiatus ended up lasting, but to be honest sometimes it does bother me. I don't know if you go back to playing poker because you didn't really want to quit in the first place, or if you did want to quit, but you somehow rationalized your way back into playing.


Now I'm definitely not saying (to you or anyone else) that you should stop doing something that you enjoy. Personally, I love to bowl, and I couldn't imagine myself not bowling for an extended period of time. But the difference is, I've never gotten to the point where I felt I should stop bowling for a while, only to find myself back at the alley in a couple of days. You, on the other hand, frequently resolve to quit poker completly, or until til such and such happens, and every single time you end up back at the cardroom in a week.


I guess to sum it up, it's not the poker playing that worries me, but the fact that you can't seem to stay away, even when you decide that taking a break would be the best thing for you.

Sooga -


I don't think I've ever resolved to quit playing poker. Sure, I've said that I was going to, but i never intended on actually doing it.


Dave and I had an interesting talk about addiction once when we were in college. I told him then that I love poker (and, pool at the time), but I'd quit in a heartbeat if it started to affect other areas of my life.


If you and other friends were to come up to me and say "Josh, we're concerned about you. We think you should not play, read, or discuss poker for 'x' number of days (be it 1 week, or 2 months)", I would do it no problem. Discussing it may be the hardest part to quit, but I could give it an honest shot. I'm dead serious about this.


Josh

[Clarkmeister]

Josh,

Thought you may want to reread a few thoughts you wrote once upon a time when you went through a similar run.

gl