Daliman sets golf record first time out!

[Daliman]

Daliman has recently set the world record for quickest 163 strokes ever taken in his first time out on 18 holes , an amazing 230 minutes. These pros take 270 minutes just to hit 65-70. Bah on them.
As an aside, there are some naysayers out there who think 163 is BAD for 18. How is that possible? High beats low, right? Anyway, lets hear some more big #'s put up on the course.

[brassnuts]

My golf game has gone to crap. Last time out I shot a 3 over 39 on the front nine and followed it by a 48 on the back nine! Totalling a horrendous 87!

[Duke]

Hell I usually shoot about 36-39 for all 18.

That damn windmill usually gets me for a bogey.

~D

[Cubswin]

[ QUOTE ]
That damn windmill usually gets me for a bogey.

[/ QUOTE ]

the clowns mouth normally does me it

[youtalkfunny]

I took my wife out golfing one time.

She lost two golfballs. Hit one in the water. A few holes later, she hit a nice-looking shot, but it took an insane bounce, and bounded into the street.

And this was MINIATURE golf! Ever lose two balls in a round of putt-putt?

[jagoff]

True story! 1994 3 of my good friends and I decide to take on a new mini golf course. We wait in line for 20 mins just to pay the little hottie working the window. We pick up our sticks, balls and score card. However there is a disturbance at the window caused by us because noone wants the "ghey" pink ball. I told everyone that I will be "ghey" and take the ball and I will beat everyone with it. First hole starts very sour. We decide to play alternate shot and if your ball gets knocked in by someone else's ball you can record a 1 for the hole. Since I have the pink ball I go first. I knock it about 6 inches from the hole. The second guy the knocks me into the corner, which as you all know, is death in mini golf. Then a 1 is recorded by a knock in. I ended up with a 4 on the first hole already 2 strokes behind everyone else. The second hole has a ramp that is about 100' from the parking lot (you see where this is going don't you). The first guy hits and lands in the flower bed that seperates the ramp from the green. The second guy does the same and the third guy lands safely. I hit my ball and it flies over the flower bed over the green and hits some guy playing with his family soundly in the back of his neck. He turns around and starts screaming "You fuckin [censored]" His wife then screams about swearing in front of the kids. Well after that he takes my ball and wings it in the parking lot. I go and look for it in the really dark parking lot meanwhile my buddies all think that this is the best time ever! I couldn't find it. So I mosey on over to the window and explain my situation to the little window hottie. Next thing I know this little punk comes out of the back and says that since I lost the ball I owe him $5. I think I looked at him first and then said "WHO THE [censored] ARE YOU?" He responds "I run this joint!" So I say "Good luck getting that money" Well then my buddies decide that I have been gone too long and come looking for me. They get there about the time the punk swings open the door and is heading out. I saw my one buddy come running full speed, now mind you he hasn't heard the exchange between us, and tackles this punk to the ground and starts beating the [censored] outta him. My other 2 buddies decide this is a good spot to start beating things with their putters. Well the police show up and all 4 of us are hauled off. The total damage was...1 broken nose by the punk, a busted ass pop machine, one cashier window broken, misc. dents to the side of the cashier shack and the best one a putter throw that broke a windshield. I saw that putter in slow motion going through the air like a boomerang. I swear that the 2 or 3 seconds that it was in the air seemed like an hour! It landed perfectly and spidered the windshield. Yeah nothing like explaining to granny why she has to drive 1/2 hour to come pick your sorry ass outta the holding tank.

THE END