Ode to a small pocket pair

I once had a small pocket pair

Who beckoned me join the affair:

"You'll flop a phat set

Or barely get wet

No starting hand can compare."


I listened and saw the flop

I missed but forgot to drop

Those chips he does sling

Might be with ace-king

Mustn't I play river cop?


"No!" said my pair, chagrined.

"You don't yet see what makes me win.

When they miss, be bold

When they hit, you fold

My power comes from being in."


Tommy

LMAO!!!


Small pocket pairs are a poker player's dirty laundry.

My pocket ace-king

Was beaten when Tommy called

With deuce-deuce, damn it.


Permission to publish is freely granted by the author.

Tommy, Oh, Tommy it's true!

A small pocket pair knows what to do,

They cry to be played,

Even when near dead

And may make a fool out of you


You'll hear them sing out "don't cower"

We'll sting e'm with much chip power

Yes and each time the flop brings a friend

You'll truly wish to see them again


So Tommy let us not dispare

When those dueces yell "hey we're here"

Just take them to the promised flop

And nee'r aginst that Ace King drop!


For you may lose a bet now and then

But you'll always keep yourself a friend

If when your small pair says "play"

You do! And almost NEVER throw them away!


Vince

. . .Auden didn't have anything on you, me and Tommy.


If this poker thing doesn't work out. . .

it was friday night at ocean's eleven,

UTG, with a hand from group seven,

what should i do, with this small pair of twos.

that won't give my bankroll the blues?


i pause and i look to my left,

and see players, they're cutting out checks,

there's mike 1. in seat two, an ray zee in seat three,

it's clear this flop will cost more than one bet.


but by far the best reason to muck,

and save my self quite a few bucks,

is the man in seat ten, it's tommy my friend,

and dang it he's got that darn puck!


well this table its just too aggressive,

to play a small pair in this spot,

implied odd are not there,

to play this small pair,

aw hell, it's the only hand that i've got.


so i limp in and just take my chances,

my opponents will suddenly turn passive.

but it's not to be, first two bets, then three,

and before it get's back to me, oh crap,

the betting, you guessed it, been capped!


so i gulp and i push in my stack,

thinking i'll never get out of this stew,

but who would have thunk, when i played this junk

the flop would come king, seven ,TWO!


well i just couldn't hide back my grin,

woohoo what a sweet spot i'm in!

but my joy it did fade as reality set in,

see i'd forgotten that i was all-in!


the turn was nine and the river a four,

and the betting was capped as before.

ni han sir, i muttered afore i hit the door,

set over set, or i'da had a big score,

yep, it was tommy, see, he hit his four!

so i gulp and i push in my stack,

thinking i'll never get out of this stew,

but who would have thunk, when i played this junk

the flop would come king, seven ,TWO!


The third line puts Dr. Seuss to shame, and the entire poem puts the rest of us to shame.


Bravo indeed!

This should be the next 2+2 book - "Poker Poetry for Advanced Players." The only poetry anthology that also dispenses extremely accurate poker strategy.

this one happened again last night,

a maniac just to my right,

hes got a beautiful grin

as he throws his chips in,

and so far ive been perfectly tight.


so the pockets are delt

on that soft green felt

and ever so pleased

he raises into my threes

and i belive its time to loosen my belt


so to get it heads up

(for i know HE won't muck)

i sing my own praise

as i toss in my raise

hey its LL, and only a buck


so now everyone folds

(they do as they're told)

and my buddy plays back again.


of course this was expected

and in no way am i dejected

or in any kind of pain


so we both see the flop

and lo, what should drop?

but my beautiful, singular three-


and he flings in his bet

preparing to pay off my set-

for this hand will be all me.


so here comes the twist

as the flick of my wrist

sends my chips a spinning,


and i prepare for the juice

as the turn brings a deuce

Oh what i can buy with my winnings


but the maniac checks

he no longer bets?

of this i did not think him able


perhaps he is learning

so ignoring this warning

my money goes out on the table.


one the river i boat

for on skill alone i do not float

and we go bet raise, re- and on

till quite a pot we've built


and i turn over my winner

and prepare to buy him dinner

when the goddam mother F****** bas*** hit his lucky ass goddam runner runner quad dueces

ohh man, im gonna kill this guy....


and please god grant me the strength not to tilt

Sredni ascertains that Tommy does overvalue his pocket pair.


"My power comes from being in."


The prosecution rests...


All of you above poets have been granted one month of honorary ferret status. This allows one to pass through the buffet line, for starters.


Sredni says it must be spring, and thankyou to all who were inspired to share.


Sredni Vashtar

Lots of fine poker words end in uck. Muck, luck, suck, buck ... but I never thought of puck before. Ditto bravo here too.


Tommy

Are you playing that small pocket pair?

(Get the rake or collect the time)

Remember: trips, or you simply aren't there

Unless your cards are higher than nine.


Over-aggressive, and you'll lose your shirt

(Get the rake or collect the time)

And then you'll have to go back to work -

Be at a desk, each morning at nine.


Take this nice hand, it's just two small fives

(Get the rake or collect the time)

But now they're gone, no third one arrived

They were once a true friend of mine.


Are you playing that small pocket pair?

(Get the rake or collect the time)

Remember: trips, or you simply aren't there

Unless your cards are higher than nine.

Lee,


Nice try.


Vince