03-17-2002, 10:07 AM
Let me preface this by saying that I'm feeling great right now. Seriously. I'm in a great mood right now. Maybe it's because I'm leading my NCAA bracket right now, maybe it's because my mom just sent me a St. Patrick's Day card with a poem entitled "Ode to Beer" on it. Maybe it's because I just got home from a friends wedding. Who knows. But I'm in a good mood. And that may be hard to believe after reading this post.
So, as I mentioned earlier, I headed out to Vegas this weekend. Well, that's not entirely true. I had Friday off of work (can I get a woo hoo?), so I decided to take Thursday off, so I could be in Vegas for the first full weekend of the NCAA tourny. Thought it would be fun.
So, I get home from work on Wednesday, grab some dinner, do some laundry, go to bed at 1:00 a.m. Get up at 3:00 a.m., and hit the road, Figured I'd beat traffic and get to vegas by the time the first games started. And I did... I arrived at about 8:00, pulled straight into the Bellagio, and meandered on back to the poker room. The place was dead.
Dead.
All the way, dead. One 15-30 game, headsup. One 30-60 game, 5 handed. One 20-40 omaha game, 4 handed. One 4-8 holdem game, 5 handed. Six handed, cuz I just grabbed a seat. Nothing too interesting.
I play some, gamble some, watch some BBall, and then go play some 8-16. Good game, most players a little weak tight. I win maybe $100 in an hour, then go grab lunch with my roommate, who was independently in Vegas, visiting his sister who goes to college in Pennsylvania, but is in Vegas on spring break. Yeah.
After lunch, my roommate and I gamble some...Let it Ride is more enjoyable when you get dealt King-King-King (I want to point something out here...I just wrote King-King-King instead of KKK, cuz I was afraid that KKK would appear slanderous. This means something later on), and the dealer turns up 6, 6. Cool.
Then, Todd shows up. Todd lives in Vegas, and is the reason I'm their this weekend...he was getting married on Saturday.
We play a little, then head over to the Mirage for the NLHE tourny.
Todd busts out when he makes his flush whilst drawing dead. Too bad we didn't have a last longer bet going.
I get shortstacked when I raise my JJ first in 2 off the button, then the cutoff reraises all in. He hasn't raised since he moved to my table. I muck, he shows me the ole' ace with an ace kicker, hand. Nice lay down, bad impact on chip stack.
Few hands later, I go all in, and three of us see the flop. 2 have QQ, one has 99. Guess who wins?
Okay, it wasn't really a bad beat...the QQ's chopped, and me with the 99 is out. Que sera sera. To the Bellagio.
Todd and I start playing 15-30. First hand to talk about.
I'm stuck maybe $100. No biggie. Even though I'm running horridly, I've always done well in Vegas, and I know I'll turn it around.
I get JJ in the BB, after two limpers (unknown...this is my first BB, yes I lost $100 on the first round, I don't really have a read on them...) L1 and L2 limp, a late position raiser raises, and the SB folds. I just call, thinking that a 3-bet won't drive out either limper, and I'm hoping to get a favorable flop.
I did.
Flop comes 3d 4d Jc. I have the Jd.
Check, Bet, Call, Raise
3-bet, Call, Fold, 4-bet
Cap, call, out, call.
Hopefully you could follow that.
Turn is a 5s. Bet, fold, call.
River is a 2h. Check, bet, I call.
Now, I'm expecting to see AA in my face.
I was wrong. I was shown AKs. He rivered the wheel, after putting in 5 bets on the flop with a J 3 4, no backdoor flushdraw flop. Crap.
I'm a little peeved, but at least I've spotted a sucker within the first half hour. matt Damon would be proud of me.
And then it happened. I started making my draws. A beloved feeling. In the next 3 hours, I made 4 flush draws. Not bad. Good.
Wait. All 4 said draws were second nut. Everytime, the nut flush was out there (to be honest, one of them was only a 1-card flush).
This is sorta interesting...I have KdQh in the BB. Three players limp, SB calls, 5 see flop.
Flop comes Jd Td 5s.
Checked to middle position player who bets. She bets draws occassionaly, but never seems to bluff.
All fold to me, so I just call with my open-ender, backdoor flush, two overcards.
Turn is 7d, putting the flush out there, and I have the Kd. Check, Bet, Call. If i don't have the Kd, I think that this is a very tough call. But, what the heck, I call with the Kd.
River is another diamond...2d. Check, bet, call.
She shows me A8d, I was drawing dead on the turn. Should I have mucked? thoughts?
So yeah, 4 second-nut flushes, and everytime i lost. It happens. I'm stuck. Players checks on table 15 (or whatever table).
And now I'm stuck. And I'm sick. It's about 2:00 a.m. now, another friend (Joseph) is in town for the wedding, so he, Todd, and I keep playing. I get QQ, lose to KT and Kx. It happens. I get KK in the SB, but I chop, and so the the BB. Drat.
UTG limps, Joseph in the SB calls, I raise with AA (red) in the BB. both call. Flop comes 9d 8d 8s. Joe bets, I raise, UTG calls 2, Joe 3-bets.
I've played with Joseph more than Packers have played with the Bears throughout time. he has an 8. I call his 3-bet because I have the backdoor diamond draw, and the 2-outer. Maybe not a mathematically correct call, but I call.
Turn is Qh. Bet, I fold, UTG calls. River is a T, Joseph bets, UTG mucks. Joe told me later he had T8. I believe him
I end up losing $800. Fortunately, tomorrow is another day. I go to bed at 3:00, 24 hours after I got up, 2 hours after I went to bed.
And man, am I sick. I'm coughing like a chainsmoker in a flour factory. I have the chills and I can't wait to sleep until August.
I get up at 11:00 when Joseph (who I'm staying with) has decided to pick my brain on the Maryland-Siena Line. My official thought was something like "I don't give a damn. I want to sleep".
Joe and I head over to the Bellagio. Todd is there, and he says that there is this great 30-60 game. So, I decide to sit in it. I played horribly.
I raise a UTG limper with QQ. BB calls, UTG calls. Flop comes J 8 4, rainbow. check, check, bet, call call.
Turn paired the 4. The BB checked in this big, dramatic way. You know, raises his hand high, drops it, and lightly checks the felt. It's as if he was saying "That card COULD NOT HAVE POSSIBLY helped me", clearly meaning that he has a 4.
I knew he did. I was hosed. I need a Q. But after UTG checked, I decided to bet. I guess my thought was "he couldn't have a 4, this is 30-60 game". Bad thoughts.
Even worse, I call his checkraise, and his river bet. Stupid. Plain and simple. When you have that certain of a read, why don't you go with it in the future, Josh? Good question. Very.
After missing on two successive open-ended straight flushes, I am shortstacked.
Then, maybe I may have played with Ray Zee. I don't know. I think I heard them say the seat was locked for Ray Zee. I was in the 2 seat, and they were referring to the 1 seat. Ray, if you're reading this, was that you? You remember the kid who was clearly overmatched and short stacked?
All fold to "ray" in mid/late position, and he raises. I 3-bet with 77. Heads up.
Flop comes Ah Qc 5c. Check, bet, call. Turn is 6s. Check, bet, call (but he acted like he wanted to checkraise). I had 4 chips left at this point. River is a 9d (or some other sufficient blank). check, check. He shows K6c, for a pair of sixes, and I win. Cool.
but it put a poisonous thought in my head. it said that when 'ray' raised in late position, he had rags. not always true, josh, not always true (I just went mike l. with the shift key).
ray raises, I threebet with AhTc. Flop comes all hearts, Jack high. Check, Bet, call. Turn is a black King. Check, Bet, raise, and I 3-bet with my ace high. I'm a pro. I can do this stuff. Wait, no, I'm not a pro. And never will be with such shenanigans. I 3-bet with my overcard, nut flush draw, and gutshot straight thinking that the checkraise was a pure attempt to knock me off of my possible-medium-pocket-pair.
River is a blank. check, check. ray shows KK. Woops.
Todd started to question my 3-bet preflop. I was thinking about the previous 77 hand. But I told Todd that it was justified. You know, the flop could have come 3333, or 4444, or AAT, or any other number of flops. in fact, I was dang near the favorite.
Except not.
Okay, so 30-60 ain't working out. How about nuding the decimal point, and going to play 4-8? Okay, so I do. But it's boring, cuz winning a $25 pot seems like a self-insulting maneuver. I need to lose that ego and pride. So I go play 8-16. Again, weak tight. I was playing with a guy named Adam. This is interesting. Adam and i work together in LA. We never knew each other played cards, until we ran into each other on Friday. Small World.
I win a few hundred playin 8-16, and I try to parlay it into a bigger win, so I play 15-30 that night.
After flopping a set of Q's and losing to a legit flush draw, I'm telling myself to keep my head on straight.
UTG limps, I limp with 77, black. And here, I got lucks. 2 more limp, and SB raises.
SB has raised 5 hands in a row. Two hands earlier, he raised UTG with 95o. No kidding. So, why don't you try to put him on a hand now.
Flop comes A 9 9, rainbow.
Checked around. Hmmm. Turn is 2d, putting two diamonds out there. Checked to the button who acts like he wants to bet, but just checks. I tell myself that he's on a diamond draw. If the 7d shows up on the river, I'll checkraise the sorry little sapsucker.
River, 7d. BEAUTIFUL. Time to put the play into action. Now, the SB bets out. Hmmm, did he flop a monster? Probly. I'll just call, and when the button raises, I'll just call the SB's 3-bet, or maybe I'll fold, or...whatthehell, lets just see what happens.
I call, and all, including the button fold. SB shows AA, and I lose, but only one bet.
The table starts talking about how they all would have lost more $$$ than me, and how I musta smelled a rat. I say "yep", not telling them about my (wrong) read of the button. Got away cheap. Awesome.
(Sooga, when on the phone with you, I lied about this hand because of my tilted nature) UTG limps, one more limps, I raise with QQ (my new least favorite hand. I went 0 for 1.3 million with QQ on this trip). Both blinds fold, 3-handed.
Flop comes J 4 2, two spades. Checked to me, I bet, Checkraise, call, I call. I just call here hoping to raise if a non-spade comes on the turn. Risky, I know, cuz i let 77, or any A or K get there for cheap. But such is life.
Turn is 8s. Bet, call, and i muck.
WHAT? I showed my cards to each of my neighbors (I was leaving the game very soon anyhoo, but i know it's not a wise practice), and they both look at my quizzically (my favorite word). I said "seat 4 (the second limper) has a flush". That was a lie. I wasn't worried about him, I was worried about the bettor. He wasn't afraid of the flush AT ALL, so I put him on a big hand...a set or a flush. He had 22, and won. I think I made a good laydown there.
I forgot about one other hand during this session. It was my first hand. I am posting in the cutoff, and get AKo. One raiser (no limpers) in front of me, and I just smooth called.
Stupid. I lost. Board came Q T 2; A; 6. SB had KJo. If I had 3-bet preflop, I may have lost him, and won the pot.
Why didn't I reraise before the flop? Simple. I didn't want to seem maniacal, even though I had a legit hand. This is what I was referring to with the KKK earlier. I get too worried about image. yeah, you should be conscious of it, but I'm way too conscious of it. If I'm playing about 9-18, I'm sure to constantly drop hints of when I played in the WSOP, just to I may give the image of a big-time player, so they don't know i'm playing on scared money. There was another situation where I was hyper-aware of my image, but it escapes me now.
So the losing streak continues. I'm still sick, coughing 12 times per second. Spontaneous nose bleeds. Fortunately, the projectile vomit has subsided. I'm back in LA. I'm leading me NCAA bracket (I picked a bunch of first round upsets correctly...Wyoming, Missouri, Creighton, NOT UNC Willmington, though, Kent St).
But I've started to seriously think about this whole poker thing. As you know, I am now giving up poker for a couple of weeks. I'll still be reading here, but I'm not totally sure I'll ever play again.
Friday, when Joseph woke me up, we watched the tail end of the Creighton-Florida Game. After Terrell Taylor made that final 3-pointer with 0.2 seconds left, he was ecstatic, as well he should be. And I got to thinking...poker will never make me as happy as that one shot made him. I could with "the big one". I could blow Ted Forrest away as the best hi-limit ring game player. And I wouldn't be happy.
See, money just doesn't matter to me. That's why I've questioned people like Mason for always talking about the bottom line. That's why I told the guy with the 89 that I had AKd on the Qd Jd Th flop. Cuz it's not about the money for me.
When the L.A. poker classic was ongoing, I would always walk through the high limit section and drool. Yeah, it'd be nice to have $20,000 or more on the table, that I could afford to lsoe. But I don't, and that's fine. But I really want to play in those games. not because of the money, but because I want to match wits with the biggest and best. That week, I saw Huck Seed playing 4-8 holdem. No kidding. I told the floor man to let me know if a seat opened in his game. I wanted to play with him. I didn't necessarily want to beat him (ala Damon putting a move on Chan), cuz I know that Huck Seed playing 4-8 is not in the same league as Chan playing 300-600, but I just wanted to play with him.
But even if I'm playing 300-600 with Juanda, Cunningham, Ivey, Whomever, I still wouldn't be that happy. Sure, I'd enjoy it, but I wouldn't be happy.
Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not looking down my nose at poker players for any reason...I am one, or at least i used to be.
Awww, hell. Who am I kidding? Nobody. I'll be back. And I still play my "A" game. The real problem here is that poker started to consume me. When I was winning, I couldn't wait to play again. When I was losing, I couldn't wait to play again, to snap the streak. I ate, drank, slept, thought poker.
That's the problem. I talk about poker not being able to make me happy. So? That's no big deal. Do it for enjoyment, maybe a little spending cash. It doesn't need to actualize my existence, right? Right. I just need to step back, and then step into it again. I just need to not step so far into it. It was too all consuming. I didn't allow myself chances to find other avenues of "happiness". that was the problem.
Moderation, Josh. Man, I'm a genius.
That, and this morning, before Todd's wedding, his grandmother passed away.
And poker doesn't seem to matter.
I need to keep it that way.
Josh
So, as I mentioned earlier, I headed out to Vegas this weekend. Well, that's not entirely true. I had Friday off of work (can I get a woo hoo?), so I decided to take Thursday off, so I could be in Vegas for the first full weekend of the NCAA tourny. Thought it would be fun.
So, I get home from work on Wednesday, grab some dinner, do some laundry, go to bed at 1:00 a.m. Get up at 3:00 a.m., and hit the road, Figured I'd beat traffic and get to vegas by the time the first games started. And I did... I arrived at about 8:00, pulled straight into the Bellagio, and meandered on back to the poker room. The place was dead.
Dead.
All the way, dead. One 15-30 game, headsup. One 30-60 game, 5 handed. One 20-40 omaha game, 4 handed. One 4-8 holdem game, 5 handed. Six handed, cuz I just grabbed a seat. Nothing too interesting.
I play some, gamble some, watch some BBall, and then go play some 8-16. Good game, most players a little weak tight. I win maybe $100 in an hour, then go grab lunch with my roommate, who was independently in Vegas, visiting his sister who goes to college in Pennsylvania, but is in Vegas on spring break. Yeah.
After lunch, my roommate and I gamble some...Let it Ride is more enjoyable when you get dealt King-King-King (I want to point something out here...I just wrote King-King-King instead of KKK, cuz I was afraid that KKK would appear slanderous. This means something later on), and the dealer turns up 6, 6. Cool.
Then, Todd shows up. Todd lives in Vegas, and is the reason I'm their this weekend...he was getting married on Saturday.
We play a little, then head over to the Mirage for the NLHE tourny.
Todd busts out when he makes his flush whilst drawing dead. Too bad we didn't have a last longer bet going.
I get shortstacked when I raise my JJ first in 2 off the button, then the cutoff reraises all in. He hasn't raised since he moved to my table. I muck, he shows me the ole' ace with an ace kicker, hand. Nice lay down, bad impact on chip stack.
Few hands later, I go all in, and three of us see the flop. 2 have QQ, one has 99. Guess who wins?
Okay, it wasn't really a bad beat...the QQ's chopped, and me with the 99 is out. Que sera sera. To the Bellagio.
Todd and I start playing 15-30. First hand to talk about.
I'm stuck maybe $100. No biggie. Even though I'm running horridly, I've always done well in Vegas, and I know I'll turn it around.
I get JJ in the BB, after two limpers (unknown...this is my first BB, yes I lost $100 on the first round, I don't really have a read on them...) L1 and L2 limp, a late position raiser raises, and the SB folds. I just call, thinking that a 3-bet won't drive out either limper, and I'm hoping to get a favorable flop.
I did.
Flop comes 3d 4d Jc. I have the Jd.
Check, Bet, Call, Raise
3-bet, Call, Fold, 4-bet
Cap, call, out, call.
Hopefully you could follow that.
Turn is a 5s. Bet, fold, call.
River is a 2h. Check, bet, I call.
Now, I'm expecting to see AA in my face.
I was wrong. I was shown AKs. He rivered the wheel, after putting in 5 bets on the flop with a J 3 4, no backdoor flushdraw flop. Crap.
I'm a little peeved, but at least I've spotted a sucker within the first half hour. matt Damon would be proud of me.
And then it happened. I started making my draws. A beloved feeling. In the next 3 hours, I made 4 flush draws. Not bad. Good.
Wait. All 4 said draws were second nut. Everytime, the nut flush was out there (to be honest, one of them was only a 1-card flush).
This is sorta interesting...I have KdQh in the BB. Three players limp, SB calls, 5 see flop.
Flop comes Jd Td 5s.
Checked to middle position player who bets. She bets draws occassionaly, but never seems to bluff.
All fold to me, so I just call with my open-ender, backdoor flush, two overcards.
Turn is 7d, putting the flush out there, and I have the Kd. Check, Bet, Call. If i don't have the Kd, I think that this is a very tough call. But, what the heck, I call with the Kd.
River is another diamond...2d. Check, bet, call.
She shows me A8d, I was drawing dead on the turn. Should I have mucked? thoughts?
So yeah, 4 second-nut flushes, and everytime i lost. It happens. I'm stuck. Players checks on table 15 (or whatever table).
And now I'm stuck. And I'm sick. It's about 2:00 a.m. now, another friend (Joseph) is in town for the wedding, so he, Todd, and I keep playing. I get QQ, lose to KT and Kx. It happens. I get KK in the SB, but I chop, and so the the BB. Drat.
UTG limps, Joseph in the SB calls, I raise with AA (red) in the BB. both call. Flop comes 9d 8d 8s. Joe bets, I raise, UTG calls 2, Joe 3-bets.
I've played with Joseph more than Packers have played with the Bears throughout time. he has an 8. I call his 3-bet because I have the backdoor diamond draw, and the 2-outer. Maybe not a mathematically correct call, but I call.
Turn is Qh. Bet, I fold, UTG calls. River is a T, Joseph bets, UTG mucks. Joe told me later he had T8. I believe him
I end up losing $800. Fortunately, tomorrow is another day. I go to bed at 3:00, 24 hours after I got up, 2 hours after I went to bed.
And man, am I sick. I'm coughing like a chainsmoker in a flour factory. I have the chills and I can't wait to sleep until August.
I get up at 11:00 when Joseph (who I'm staying with) has decided to pick my brain on the Maryland-Siena Line. My official thought was something like "I don't give a damn. I want to sleep".
Joe and I head over to the Bellagio. Todd is there, and he says that there is this great 30-60 game. So, I decide to sit in it. I played horribly.
I raise a UTG limper with QQ. BB calls, UTG calls. Flop comes J 8 4, rainbow. check, check, bet, call call.
Turn paired the 4. The BB checked in this big, dramatic way. You know, raises his hand high, drops it, and lightly checks the felt. It's as if he was saying "That card COULD NOT HAVE POSSIBLY helped me", clearly meaning that he has a 4.
I knew he did. I was hosed. I need a Q. But after UTG checked, I decided to bet. I guess my thought was "he couldn't have a 4, this is 30-60 game". Bad thoughts.
Even worse, I call his checkraise, and his river bet. Stupid. Plain and simple. When you have that certain of a read, why don't you go with it in the future, Josh? Good question. Very.
After missing on two successive open-ended straight flushes, I am shortstacked.
Then, maybe I may have played with Ray Zee. I don't know. I think I heard them say the seat was locked for Ray Zee. I was in the 2 seat, and they were referring to the 1 seat. Ray, if you're reading this, was that you? You remember the kid who was clearly overmatched and short stacked?
All fold to "ray" in mid/late position, and he raises. I 3-bet with 77. Heads up.
Flop comes Ah Qc 5c. Check, bet, call. Turn is 6s. Check, bet, call (but he acted like he wanted to checkraise). I had 4 chips left at this point. River is a 9d (or some other sufficient blank). check, check. He shows K6c, for a pair of sixes, and I win. Cool.
but it put a poisonous thought in my head. it said that when 'ray' raised in late position, he had rags. not always true, josh, not always true (I just went mike l. with the shift key).
ray raises, I threebet with AhTc. Flop comes all hearts, Jack high. Check, Bet, call. Turn is a black King. Check, Bet, raise, and I 3-bet with my ace high. I'm a pro. I can do this stuff. Wait, no, I'm not a pro. And never will be with such shenanigans. I 3-bet with my overcard, nut flush draw, and gutshot straight thinking that the checkraise was a pure attempt to knock me off of my possible-medium-pocket-pair.
River is a blank. check, check. ray shows KK. Woops.
Todd started to question my 3-bet preflop. I was thinking about the previous 77 hand. But I told Todd that it was justified. You know, the flop could have come 3333, or 4444, or AAT, or any other number of flops. in fact, I was dang near the favorite.
Except not.
Okay, so 30-60 ain't working out. How about nuding the decimal point, and going to play 4-8? Okay, so I do. But it's boring, cuz winning a $25 pot seems like a self-insulting maneuver. I need to lose that ego and pride. So I go play 8-16. Again, weak tight. I was playing with a guy named Adam. This is interesting. Adam and i work together in LA. We never knew each other played cards, until we ran into each other on Friday. Small World.
I win a few hundred playin 8-16, and I try to parlay it into a bigger win, so I play 15-30 that night.
After flopping a set of Q's and losing to a legit flush draw, I'm telling myself to keep my head on straight.
UTG limps, I limp with 77, black. And here, I got lucks. 2 more limp, and SB raises.
SB has raised 5 hands in a row. Two hands earlier, he raised UTG with 95o. No kidding. So, why don't you try to put him on a hand now.
Flop comes A 9 9, rainbow.
Checked around. Hmmm. Turn is 2d, putting two diamonds out there. Checked to the button who acts like he wants to bet, but just checks. I tell myself that he's on a diamond draw. If the 7d shows up on the river, I'll checkraise the sorry little sapsucker.
River, 7d. BEAUTIFUL. Time to put the play into action. Now, the SB bets out. Hmmm, did he flop a monster? Probly. I'll just call, and when the button raises, I'll just call the SB's 3-bet, or maybe I'll fold, or...whatthehell, lets just see what happens.
I call, and all, including the button fold. SB shows AA, and I lose, but only one bet.
The table starts talking about how they all would have lost more $$$ than me, and how I musta smelled a rat. I say "yep", not telling them about my (wrong) read of the button. Got away cheap. Awesome.
(Sooga, when on the phone with you, I lied about this hand because of my tilted nature) UTG limps, one more limps, I raise with QQ (my new least favorite hand. I went 0 for 1.3 million with QQ on this trip). Both blinds fold, 3-handed.
Flop comes J 4 2, two spades. Checked to me, I bet, Checkraise, call, I call. I just call here hoping to raise if a non-spade comes on the turn. Risky, I know, cuz i let 77, or any A or K get there for cheap. But such is life.
Turn is 8s. Bet, call, and i muck.
WHAT? I showed my cards to each of my neighbors (I was leaving the game very soon anyhoo, but i know it's not a wise practice), and they both look at my quizzically (my favorite word). I said "seat 4 (the second limper) has a flush". That was a lie. I wasn't worried about him, I was worried about the bettor. He wasn't afraid of the flush AT ALL, so I put him on a big hand...a set or a flush. He had 22, and won. I think I made a good laydown there.
I forgot about one other hand during this session. It was my first hand. I am posting in the cutoff, and get AKo. One raiser (no limpers) in front of me, and I just smooth called.
Stupid. I lost. Board came Q T 2; A; 6. SB had KJo. If I had 3-bet preflop, I may have lost him, and won the pot.
Why didn't I reraise before the flop? Simple. I didn't want to seem maniacal, even though I had a legit hand. This is what I was referring to with the KKK earlier. I get too worried about image. yeah, you should be conscious of it, but I'm way too conscious of it. If I'm playing about 9-18, I'm sure to constantly drop hints of when I played in the WSOP, just to I may give the image of a big-time player, so they don't know i'm playing on scared money. There was another situation where I was hyper-aware of my image, but it escapes me now.
So the losing streak continues. I'm still sick, coughing 12 times per second. Spontaneous nose bleeds. Fortunately, the projectile vomit has subsided. I'm back in LA. I'm leading me NCAA bracket (I picked a bunch of first round upsets correctly...Wyoming, Missouri, Creighton, NOT UNC Willmington, though, Kent St).
But I've started to seriously think about this whole poker thing. As you know, I am now giving up poker for a couple of weeks. I'll still be reading here, but I'm not totally sure I'll ever play again.
Friday, when Joseph woke me up, we watched the tail end of the Creighton-Florida Game. After Terrell Taylor made that final 3-pointer with 0.2 seconds left, he was ecstatic, as well he should be. And I got to thinking...poker will never make me as happy as that one shot made him. I could with "the big one". I could blow Ted Forrest away as the best hi-limit ring game player. And I wouldn't be happy.
See, money just doesn't matter to me. That's why I've questioned people like Mason for always talking about the bottom line. That's why I told the guy with the 89 that I had AKd on the Qd Jd Th flop. Cuz it's not about the money for me.
When the L.A. poker classic was ongoing, I would always walk through the high limit section and drool. Yeah, it'd be nice to have $20,000 or more on the table, that I could afford to lsoe. But I don't, and that's fine. But I really want to play in those games. not because of the money, but because I want to match wits with the biggest and best. That week, I saw Huck Seed playing 4-8 holdem. No kidding. I told the floor man to let me know if a seat opened in his game. I wanted to play with him. I didn't necessarily want to beat him (ala Damon putting a move on Chan), cuz I know that Huck Seed playing 4-8 is not in the same league as Chan playing 300-600, but I just wanted to play with him.
But even if I'm playing 300-600 with Juanda, Cunningham, Ivey, Whomever, I still wouldn't be that happy. Sure, I'd enjoy it, but I wouldn't be happy.
Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not looking down my nose at poker players for any reason...I am one, or at least i used to be.
Awww, hell. Who am I kidding? Nobody. I'll be back. And I still play my "A" game. The real problem here is that poker started to consume me. When I was winning, I couldn't wait to play again. When I was losing, I couldn't wait to play again, to snap the streak. I ate, drank, slept, thought poker.
That's the problem. I talk about poker not being able to make me happy. So? That's no big deal. Do it for enjoyment, maybe a little spending cash. It doesn't need to actualize my existence, right? Right. I just need to step back, and then step into it again. I just need to not step so far into it. It was too all consuming. I didn't allow myself chances to find other avenues of "happiness". that was the problem.
Moderation, Josh. Man, I'm a genius.
That, and this morning, before Todd's wedding, his grandmother passed away.
And poker doesn't seem to matter.
I need to keep it that way.
Josh