Schneids
07-16-2004, 06:56 PM
Day Sixty (July 14) and Conclusion -- 07.16.04, 14:30
Sixty days already – my how time flies when you're having fun. Ok, hopefully that'll be the last cliché to be a part of my journals. Before continuing, I'd like to note that in my last journal I listed $31,946.08, when really it should have said $31,346.08.
My final day found me playing 10/20 six-max for a little under two hours and finishing down $88, and then I played in a 30+3 NL multi table tournament that had 1550 people in it. In the multi I ended up finishing 61st place, leaving me a net +$20 on the day. I feel like I'm really getting the hang of these multis and as soon as I start focusing more extensively on them I'm due for a big finish. What hurt me this time around was getting all in preflop against people twice in coin flip scenarios and losing both times – once with JJ against a small stack's KQ (costing me T12,000), and once with 99 against a larger stack's JTd, which knocked me out of the tournament (circumstances of this hand were as follows: 1000/2000 blinds, opponent has roughly T40,000 in chips, average is T28,000, I have around T21,000. Opponent open raises to T4,000 from MP. I push all in right after him. He calls, and makes a flush to knock me out).
After the tournament (so about 1:45am), I went to Perkins with a friend and got some mozzarella cheese sticks there. I brought along HPFAP since he plays a lot of cards too and we were going to be discussing poker, and when the hostess saw me with the book she started asking more about poker since her son plays it a lot and watches it on television and she was "surprised there were also books available on texas hold em." It's shocking to consider the extent at which poker has permeated our society in the past year or two. It is one of the top fads (or mainstays, it remains to be seen...) of the 21st century, without a doubt.
Sticking to a turn plan: UTG limps, CO raises, button calls, I 3-bet from my SB with AsAd, UTG calls, CO caps, all call. 2s2d9c flop; I bet, all call. Turn Jd; I check, UTG checks, CO bets, button raises, I 3-bet, 2 folds, button caps, I call. Ok, now what? Can someone guess his hand? River 4s; I check, CO bets, I call, and button shows Js9s and I take the pot. I wonder if betting the river was the right play or if it's close enough that it doesn't matter. I didn't think he had a 2, but 99 (and to an extent, JJ) are both possibilities as well.
Here is a hand from the misplayed department: 1 fold, Stripsqueez raises, I 3-bet from the button with 9s9c, BB calls, Strip caps, both call. Flop Kc9d4h; check, Strip bets, I raise, BB calls, Strip calls. 7h; checked to me, I bet, BB calls, Strip raises, I call, BB calls. River Kd; check, check, I bet, both call, and I win against BB's KhQs and Strip's AsAc. I suppose in fairness, if BB has a hand such as 98 and the river is an 8, then calling the turn check raise makes me look rosey (assuming the BB folds on the turn to a 3-bet), but the simple fact is I should have gotten as much into the pot while I could, since as it turned out this hand, the board pairing king killed my action from Strip (I assume had the card been safer the river action would have had Strip betting, me raising, BB cold calling, Strip calling).
The final poker hand I'm going to ever talk about in these journals actually occurred November 22nd, 2003 -- close to 8 months ago. If I remember correctly I believe this was the second night I had ever played in 10/20 6-max. In the hand, I raised AsAc UTG, was cold called by UTG+1, and defended by a BB named akshawnd. Flop of Qd5sJd; check, I bet, call, call. Turn 5c; check, I bet, call, BB raises, I 3-bet, fold, BB caps, I call. River 8h; check, and I check. Wow, what a weak check. It's so easy now to see my hand is good. At that time, all I knew was that akshawnd was a 2+2er. I had no idea he was Ulysses. He knew who I was since I had made a post asking about the 10/20 6-max games and in the table chat he asked me how it was going. More to a point though: My game has taken immense strides between then and now. I believe with the right amount of dedication, anybody's game can make huge strides in 8 months, and I hope eight months from now I feel my game has taken huge strides from where it's at today.
A Conclusion
One of the first and most immediate questions on my mind is: Where did I go wrong? I know one of the ultimate causations of falling so short was that I didn't put in enough hours, but there are plenty of additional reasons for this. Some people have asked me if the goal was too ambitious. No, even to this day, I still don't believe it was. I made my goal based on a large database of numbers from 3-tabling 10/20 6-max, and even if I overestimated how much my overall win rate would increase with a fourth table, I don't want to blame my goal failure on my goal itself being too lofty.
I've really been thinking about this a lot lately, and one of the things I'm beginning to realize is when it's a competition against myself, I can only fully motivate myself to get going on the task when it's something I'm truly enjoying. For me, after a month of this, I was no longer enjoying poker nearly as much as I used to. I think that this factor, combined with some cold spells I encountered during the middle of the quest, made it difficult.
Also, another factor that I think was very important in my first half being very different from the second half was my competitive spirit with others -- Ulysses, most specifically. Not many people know this, but while the UlyQuest was going on, we were in nearly daily PM correspondence about our progress and Ulysses kept me up-to-date on how his playing was going too. Over this period of time, I knew his exact results, and in addition to competing with myself, I had his winnings and figures to compete against. Moreover, on multiple occasions he had very sage things to say along the way. Having him there almost as a mentor was undoubtedly just as beneficial to me as it is for a rookie athlete being drafted onto a savvy veteran's team. I could say a lot of the same things about James282, who agreed to partake in the challenge over a 30 day stretch but had to cut it short due to moving. While he was in it, we kept each other abreast via AIM and thanks to the competitive fire both of us likely played significantly more hours than we would have without the competition and motivation from the other player, so to speak. There's nobody to blame but myself for this, but I honestly think that knowing others were temporarily competing against me was more important in forcing me to play long hours than me simply trying to make the goal for myself. As correspondence with both these players ceased, my own playing took a similar dive. It's a personality fault of my own, and I'm man enough to admit it. When combining the lack of enjoyment, with a lack of direct outside competition down the stretch, I had the makings for some tough waters.
Furthermore, most things in life have come relatively easily for me. This goal, at all junctures of it, has been a challenge. As I sunk further from "pace," I know I got frustrated, and I know I panicked at the thought of failure. Additionally, going through a losing streak is one thing -- but doing so AND having to broadcast your struggles publicly is entirely different. Especially for someone not accustomed to failure. I believe this set of thoughts is what inspired me to play some 15/30 tables. From what I've read and heard, and even from what I've seen while playing these tables – a good player can earn far more from 15/30 fulls than 10/20 shorts. It was my perceived sense of desperation that led me to these games, in an effort to try to make up some ground -- and it was probably these games that marked the final gravestone for my challenge. I had some past experience with 15/30 fulls on Party, but definitely not enough to warrant it being a good idea to change to them in the middle of crunch time. A sense of invincibility also contributed to this sudden change of gears, as until my 15/30 fiasco I've never met a losing streak when moving up in limits.
All of this said there've been many questions asked by many people about whether I'd consider playing poker professionally. From the tone of my later journals, even if I've never directly stated an answer I think it's fairly apparent I would refuse to turn professional for anything other than a part time basis with part time hours. One of my beliefs and aspirations in life is to find a career where I enjoy waking up for it, and will continue to enjoy it day-after-day. I cannot bare the thought of doing something day-after-day, as my career, that'd I'd grow tired of. Before beginning this quest, I assumed I would probably not want to be a full-time poker professional -– yet, I wanted to know for sure since playing the game is something I've loved. I am glad I've had the chance to pursue this opportunity, and I'm glad I can complete it while knowing that for me, poker is a better "fully committed hobby" or if need be, "temporary source of income between jobs," than an actual job/career.
I liken comparing this to some of my experiences early in high school: As a few of you know (and many of you don't know), I was once the editor-in-chief (and co-owner) of a website which during its most popular phases received upwards of 250,000 visitors per month. From about 7th grade on to about the middle of 11th grade, I put hours into it nearly every day. Most days, I would get home from after school activities either at 5:30 (if I was lucky), 7:30 (typical), or even later some nights, especially on the nights when I had a baseball game both for the school team and a traveling team. Especially in the last couple years of this website project, most nights involved working on the site's content until midnightish or later, and then finally starting on homework, with a typical bedtime between 2-3:30am, before getting up at 6:30am the next day.
Around the time of my high school graduation, I learned from a counselor that along with one other kid, I had taken the most AP classes/tests in our entire graduating class (I cannot recall if that number was 10 or 11, nor do I recall care since that isn't the point). Yet somehow, despite what I think can pass as a challenging school workload, I continued to do the website work without letting it or the lack of sleep get to me. Comparatively with poker, I couldn’t. I think this experience in "journalism" (in quotes because I would only partially qualify what I did back then as pure journalism) shows what one is willing to put themselves through if they're doing something they are truly deriving enjoyment out of. With poker in the present day, I couldn't. With journalism in the past, I could. For this reason, amongst many others, I assert that if I am to devote countless hours doing "work," I would much prefer the hours being spent on something I am also enjoying.
Bringing everything I've said a little more about-circle, I think I'm plenty at fault for coming up short in my goal, yet at the same time was able to realize in the middle of this quest that some of my priorities were changing as a result of no longer enjoying poker as much as I used to (admittedly, in part due to waning results). In the end, I believe that since I had bagged a reasonable sum of money, that I placed more immediate value in maximizing my summer enjoyment EV. I guess it'll remain to be seen whether this choice of only considering the effective odds was wise, or if I should have taken more consideration into the implied odds of sticking out the quest a little harder towards the end... That'll be for me to find out when the day comes, if it ever comes. Mainly though, I presently have zero regrets about taking on this challenge, doing it publicly, and then decreasing my effort down the stretch.
I know in my last set of journals there were plenty of debates about topics similar to what I've discussed a little in this conclusion. Both sides have solid merits, and I have nothing new or exciting to add to either. Instead, I'd like to close out my journals with three quotes that vary in relevance towards each side of the debate that occurred, since there are smarter people than me who can say so much more by saying so little. I cannot think of any better way to conclude than by trying to apply these philosophies to both life and poker playing:
"If two teams are the same in physical ability and mental ability, it's the team with pride that wins." – Vince Lombardi (yes, it pains me to quote a Packer. Silence please!)
"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead, where there is no path and leave a trail." – Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever." – Gandhi
Thank you all for reading and commenting along the way!
Total for Day 60: $20
Grand Total: $31,366.08/$60,000, in approximately 235.6 hours of logged playing hours
All Past Journals, Linked
Intro and Day 1 (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=holdem&Number=684580&Forum =,,,,,,All_Forums,,,,,,&Words=&Searchpage=5&Limit= 25&Main=684580&Search=true&where=&Name=4677&datera nge=&newerval=&newertype=&olderval=&oldertype=&bod yprev=#Post684580)
Day 2 and Day 3 (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=holdem&Number=687924&Forum =,,,,,,,All_Forums,,,,,,,&Words=&Searchpage=4&Limi t=25&Main=687924&Search=true&where=&Name=4677&date range=&newerval=&newertype=&olderval=&oldertype=&b odyprev=#Post687924)
Day 4 and Day 5 (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=holdem&Number=691638&Forum =,,,,,,,All_Forums,,,,,,,&Words=&Searchpage=4&Limi t=25&Main=691638&Search=true&where=&Name=4677&date range=&newerval=&newertype=&olderval=&oldertype=&b odyprev=#Post691638)
Day 6 and Day 7 (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=holdem&Number=696812&Forum =,,,,,,,,All_Forums,,,,,,,,&Words=&Searchpage=3&Li mit=25&Main=696812&Search=true&where=&Name=4677&da terange=&newerval=&newertype=&olderval=&oldertype= &bodyprev=#Post696812)
Day 8 and Day 9 (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=holdem&Number=701251&Forum =,,,,,,,,,All_Forums,,,,,,,,,&Words=&Searchpage=2& Limit=25&Main=701251&Search=true&where=&Name=4677& daterange=&newerval=&newertype=&olderval=&oldertyp e=&bodyprev=#Post701251)
Day 10 and Day 11 (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=holdem&Number=704321&Forum =,,,,,,,,,All_Forums,,,,,,,,,&Words=&Searchpage=2& Limit=25&Main=704321&Search=true&where=&Name=4677& daterange=&newerval=&newertype=&olderval=&oldertyp e=&bodyprev=#Post704321)
Day 12 and Day 13 (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=holdem&Number=708970&Forum =,,,,,,,,,,All_Forums,,,,,,,,,,&Words=&Searchpage= 1&Limit=25&Main=708970&Search=true&where=&Name=467 7&daterange=&newerval=&newertype=&olderval=&oldert ype=&bodyprev=#Post708970)
Day 14 and Day 15 (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=holdem&Number=714517&Forum =,,,,,,,,,,,All_Forums,,,,,,,,,,,&Words=&Searchpag e=0&Limit=25&Main=714517&Search=true&where=&Name=4 677&daterange=&newerval=&newertype=&olderval=&olde rtype=&bodyprev=#Post714517)
Day 16 and Day 17 (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=holdem&Number=718612&Forum =,,,,,,All_Forums,,,,,,&Words=&Searchpage=5&Limit= 25&Main=718612&Search=true&where=&Name=4677&datera nge=&newerval=&newertype=&olderval=&oldertype=&bod yprev=#Post718612)
Day 18 and Day 19 (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=holdem&Number=722051&Forum =,,,,,,All_Forums,,,,,,&Words=&Searchpage=5&Limit= 25&Main=722051&Search=true&where=&Name=4677&datera nge=&newerval=&newertype=&olderval=&oldertype=&bod yprev=#Post722051)
Day 20 and Day 21 (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=holdem&Number=726950&Forum =,,,,,,All_Forums,,,,,,&Words=&Searchpage=5&Limit= 25&Main=726950&Search=true&where=&Name=4677&datera nge=&newerval=&newertype=&olderval=&oldertype=&bod yprev=#Post726950)
Day 22 and Day 23 (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=holdem&Number=732145&Forum =,,,,,All_Forums,,,,,&Words=&Searchpage=4&Limit=25 &Main=732145&Search=true&where=&Name=4677&daterang e=&newerval=&newertype=&olderval=&oldertype=&bodyp rev=#Post732145)
Day 24 and Day 25 (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=holdem&Number=735351&Forum =,,,,All_Forums,,,,&Words=&Searchpage=3&Limit=25&M ain=735351&Search=true&where=&Name=4677&daterange= &newerval=&newertype=&olderval=&oldertype=&bodypre v=#Post735351)
Day 26 and Day 27 (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=holdem&Number=741122&Forum =,,,,All_Forums,,,,&Words=&Searchpage=3&Limit=25&M ain=741122&Search=true&where=&Name=4677&daterange= &newerval=&newertype=&olderval=&oldertype=&bodypre v=#Post741122)
Day 28 and Day Mulligan (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=holdem&Number=748014&Forum =,,All_Forums,,&Words=&Searchpage=1&Limit=25&Main= 748014&Search=true&where=&Name=4677&daterange=&new erval=&newertype=&olderval=&oldertype=&bodyprev=#P ost748014)
Day 30 and Day 31 (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=holdem&Number=750764&Forum =,All_Forums,&Words=&Searchpage=0&Limit=25&Main=75 0764&Search=true&where=&Name=4677&daterange=&newer val=&newertype=&olderval=&oldertype=&bodyprev=#Pos t750764)
Day 32 and Day 33 (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=holdem&Number=755278&Forum =,,,,,,,,,,,All_Forums,,,,,,,,,,,&Words=&Searchpag e=10&Limit=25&Main=755278&Search=true&where=&Name= 4677&daterange=&newerval=&newertype=&olderval=&old ertype=&bodyprev=#Post755278)
Day 34 and Day 35 (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=holdem&Number=761146&Forum =,,,,,,,,,,,,All_Forums,,,,,,,,,,,,&Words=&Searchp age=9&Limit=25&Main=761146&Search=true&where=&Name =4677&daterange=&newerval=&newertype=&olderval=&ol dertype=&bodyprev=#Post761146)
Day 36 and Day 37 (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=holdem&Number=765977&Forum =,,,,,,,,,,,,All_Forums,,,,,,,,,,,,&Words=&Searchp age=9&Limit=25&Main=765977&Search=true&where=&Name =4677&daterange=&newerval=&newertype=&olderval=&ol dertype=&bodyprev=#Post765977)
Day 38 and Day 39 (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=holdem&Number=769294&Forum =,,,,,,,,,,,,,All_Forums,,,,,,,,,,,,,&Words=&Searc hpage=8&Limit=25&Main=769294&Search=true&where=&Na me=4677&daterange=&newerval=&newertype=&olderval=& oldertype=&bodyprev=#Post769294)
Day 40 and Day 41 (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=holdem&Number=773971&Forum =,,,,,,,,,,,,,All_Forums,,,,,,,,,,,,,&Words=&Searc hpage=8&Limit=25&Main=773971&Search=true&where=&Na me=4677&daterange=&newerval=&newertype=&olderval=& oldertype=&bodyprev=#Post773971)
Day 42 and Day 43 (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=holdem&Number=779620&Forum =,,,,,,,,,,,,,,All_Forums,,,,,,,,,,,,,,&Words=&Sea rchpage=7&Limit=25&Main=779620&Search=true&where=& Name=4677&daterange=&newerval=&newertype=&olderval =&oldertype=&bodyprev=#Post779620)
Days 44, 45, and 46 (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=holdem&Number=785387&Forum =,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,All_Forums,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,&Words=&S earchpage=6&Limit=25&Main=785387&Search=true&where =&Name=4677&daterange=&newerval=&newertype=&olderv al=&oldertype=&bodyprev=#Post785387)
Day 47 and Day 48 (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=holdem&Number=791359&Forum =,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,All_Forums,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,&Words= &Searchpage=5&Limit=25&Main=791359&Search=true&whe re=&Name=4677&daterange=&newerval=&newertype=&olde rval=&oldertype=&bodyprev=#Post791359)
Days 49, 50, 51, and 52 (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=holdem&Number=802397&Forum =,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,All_Forums,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,&Word s=&Searchpage=4&Limit=25&Main=802397&Search=true&w here=&Name=4677&daterange=&newerval=&newertype=&ol derval=&oldertype=&bodyprev=#Post802397)
Day 53 and Day 54 (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=holdem&Number=816168&Forum =,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,All_Forums,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,&Wo rds=&Searchpage=3&Limit=25&Main=816168&Search=true &where=&Name=4677&daterange=&newerval=&newertype=& olderval=&oldertype=&bodyprev=#Post816168)
Days 55, 56, and 57 (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=holdem&Number=824887&Forum =,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,All_Forums,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,&Words=&Searchpage=1&Limit=25&Main=824887&Search= true&where=&Name=4677&daterange=&newerval=&newerty pe=&olderval=&oldertype=&bodyprev=#Post824887)
Day 58 and Day 59 (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=holdem&Number=828874&Forum =,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,All_Forums,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,&Words=&Searchpage=1&Limit=25&Main=828874&Search= true&where=&Name=4677&daterange=&newerval=&newerty pe=&olderval=&oldertype=&bodyprev=#Post828874)
Sixty days already – my how time flies when you're having fun. Ok, hopefully that'll be the last cliché to be a part of my journals. Before continuing, I'd like to note that in my last journal I listed $31,946.08, when really it should have said $31,346.08.
My final day found me playing 10/20 six-max for a little under two hours and finishing down $88, and then I played in a 30+3 NL multi table tournament that had 1550 people in it. In the multi I ended up finishing 61st place, leaving me a net +$20 on the day. I feel like I'm really getting the hang of these multis and as soon as I start focusing more extensively on them I'm due for a big finish. What hurt me this time around was getting all in preflop against people twice in coin flip scenarios and losing both times – once with JJ against a small stack's KQ (costing me T12,000), and once with 99 against a larger stack's JTd, which knocked me out of the tournament (circumstances of this hand were as follows: 1000/2000 blinds, opponent has roughly T40,000 in chips, average is T28,000, I have around T21,000. Opponent open raises to T4,000 from MP. I push all in right after him. He calls, and makes a flush to knock me out).
After the tournament (so about 1:45am), I went to Perkins with a friend and got some mozzarella cheese sticks there. I brought along HPFAP since he plays a lot of cards too and we were going to be discussing poker, and when the hostess saw me with the book she started asking more about poker since her son plays it a lot and watches it on television and she was "surprised there were also books available on texas hold em." It's shocking to consider the extent at which poker has permeated our society in the past year or two. It is one of the top fads (or mainstays, it remains to be seen...) of the 21st century, without a doubt.
Sticking to a turn plan: UTG limps, CO raises, button calls, I 3-bet from my SB with AsAd, UTG calls, CO caps, all call. 2s2d9c flop; I bet, all call. Turn Jd; I check, UTG checks, CO bets, button raises, I 3-bet, 2 folds, button caps, I call. Ok, now what? Can someone guess his hand? River 4s; I check, CO bets, I call, and button shows Js9s and I take the pot. I wonder if betting the river was the right play or if it's close enough that it doesn't matter. I didn't think he had a 2, but 99 (and to an extent, JJ) are both possibilities as well.
Here is a hand from the misplayed department: 1 fold, Stripsqueez raises, I 3-bet from the button with 9s9c, BB calls, Strip caps, both call. Flop Kc9d4h; check, Strip bets, I raise, BB calls, Strip calls. 7h; checked to me, I bet, BB calls, Strip raises, I call, BB calls. River Kd; check, check, I bet, both call, and I win against BB's KhQs and Strip's AsAc. I suppose in fairness, if BB has a hand such as 98 and the river is an 8, then calling the turn check raise makes me look rosey (assuming the BB folds on the turn to a 3-bet), but the simple fact is I should have gotten as much into the pot while I could, since as it turned out this hand, the board pairing king killed my action from Strip (I assume had the card been safer the river action would have had Strip betting, me raising, BB cold calling, Strip calling).
The final poker hand I'm going to ever talk about in these journals actually occurred November 22nd, 2003 -- close to 8 months ago. If I remember correctly I believe this was the second night I had ever played in 10/20 6-max. In the hand, I raised AsAc UTG, was cold called by UTG+1, and defended by a BB named akshawnd. Flop of Qd5sJd; check, I bet, call, call. Turn 5c; check, I bet, call, BB raises, I 3-bet, fold, BB caps, I call. River 8h; check, and I check. Wow, what a weak check. It's so easy now to see my hand is good. At that time, all I knew was that akshawnd was a 2+2er. I had no idea he was Ulysses. He knew who I was since I had made a post asking about the 10/20 6-max games and in the table chat he asked me how it was going. More to a point though: My game has taken immense strides between then and now. I believe with the right amount of dedication, anybody's game can make huge strides in 8 months, and I hope eight months from now I feel my game has taken huge strides from where it's at today.
A Conclusion
One of the first and most immediate questions on my mind is: Where did I go wrong? I know one of the ultimate causations of falling so short was that I didn't put in enough hours, but there are plenty of additional reasons for this. Some people have asked me if the goal was too ambitious. No, even to this day, I still don't believe it was. I made my goal based on a large database of numbers from 3-tabling 10/20 6-max, and even if I overestimated how much my overall win rate would increase with a fourth table, I don't want to blame my goal failure on my goal itself being too lofty.
I've really been thinking about this a lot lately, and one of the things I'm beginning to realize is when it's a competition against myself, I can only fully motivate myself to get going on the task when it's something I'm truly enjoying. For me, after a month of this, I was no longer enjoying poker nearly as much as I used to. I think that this factor, combined with some cold spells I encountered during the middle of the quest, made it difficult.
Also, another factor that I think was very important in my first half being very different from the second half was my competitive spirit with others -- Ulysses, most specifically. Not many people know this, but while the UlyQuest was going on, we were in nearly daily PM correspondence about our progress and Ulysses kept me up-to-date on how his playing was going too. Over this period of time, I knew his exact results, and in addition to competing with myself, I had his winnings and figures to compete against. Moreover, on multiple occasions he had very sage things to say along the way. Having him there almost as a mentor was undoubtedly just as beneficial to me as it is for a rookie athlete being drafted onto a savvy veteran's team. I could say a lot of the same things about James282, who agreed to partake in the challenge over a 30 day stretch but had to cut it short due to moving. While he was in it, we kept each other abreast via AIM and thanks to the competitive fire both of us likely played significantly more hours than we would have without the competition and motivation from the other player, so to speak. There's nobody to blame but myself for this, but I honestly think that knowing others were temporarily competing against me was more important in forcing me to play long hours than me simply trying to make the goal for myself. As correspondence with both these players ceased, my own playing took a similar dive. It's a personality fault of my own, and I'm man enough to admit it. When combining the lack of enjoyment, with a lack of direct outside competition down the stretch, I had the makings for some tough waters.
Furthermore, most things in life have come relatively easily for me. This goal, at all junctures of it, has been a challenge. As I sunk further from "pace," I know I got frustrated, and I know I panicked at the thought of failure. Additionally, going through a losing streak is one thing -- but doing so AND having to broadcast your struggles publicly is entirely different. Especially for someone not accustomed to failure. I believe this set of thoughts is what inspired me to play some 15/30 tables. From what I've read and heard, and even from what I've seen while playing these tables – a good player can earn far more from 15/30 fulls than 10/20 shorts. It was my perceived sense of desperation that led me to these games, in an effort to try to make up some ground -- and it was probably these games that marked the final gravestone for my challenge. I had some past experience with 15/30 fulls on Party, but definitely not enough to warrant it being a good idea to change to them in the middle of crunch time. A sense of invincibility also contributed to this sudden change of gears, as until my 15/30 fiasco I've never met a losing streak when moving up in limits.
All of this said there've been many questions asked by many people about whether I'd consider playing poker professionally. From the tone of my later journals, even if I've never directly stated an answer I think it's fairly apparent I would refuse to turn professional for anything other than a part time basis with part time hours. One of my beliefs and aspirations in life is to find a career where I enjoy waking up for it, and will continue to enjoy it day-after-day. I cannot bare the thought of doing something day-after-day, as my career, that'd I'd grow tired of. Before beginning this quest, I assumed I would probably not want to be a full-time poker professional -– yet, I wanted to know for sure since playing the game is something I've loved. I am glad I've had the chance to pursue this opportunity, and I'm glad I can complete it while knowing that for me, poker is a better "fully committed hobby" or if need be, "temporary source of income between jobs," than an actual job/career.
I liken comparing this to some of my experiences early in high school: As a few of you know (and many of you don't know), I was once the editor-in-chief (and co-owner) of a website which during its most popular phases received upwards of 250,000 visitors per month. From about 7th grade on to about the middle of 11th grade, I put hours into it nearly every day. Most days, I would get home from after school activities either at 5:30 (if I was lucky), 7:30 (typical), or even later some nights, especially on the nights when I had a baseball game both for the school team and a traveling team. Especially in the last couple years of this website project, most nights involved working on the site's content until midnightish or later, and then finally starting on homework, with a typical bedtime between 2-3:30am, before getting up at 6:30am the next day.
Around the time of my high school graduation, I learned from a counselor that along with one other kid, I had taken the most AP classes/tests in our entire graduating class (I cannot recall if that number was 10 or 11, nor do I recall care since that isn't the point). Yet somehow, despite what I think can pass as a challenging school workload, I continued to do the website work without letting it or the lack of sleep get to me. Comparatively with poker, I couldn’t. I think this experience in "journalism" (in quotes because I would only partially qualify what I did back then as pure journalism) shows what one is willing to put themselves through if they're doing something they are truly deriving enjoyment out of. With poker in the present day, I couldn't. With journalism in the past, I could. For this reason, amongst many others, I assert that if I am to devote countless hours doing "work," I would much prefer the hours being spent on something I am also enjoying.
Bringing everything I've said a little more about-circle, I think I'm plenty at fault for coming up short in my goal, yet at the same time was able to realize in the middle of this quest that some of my priorities were changing as a result of no longer enjoying poker as much as I used to (admittedly, in part due to waning results). In the end, I believe that since I had bagged a reasonable sum of money, that I placed more immediate value in maximizing my summer enjoyment EV. I guess it'll remain to be seen whether this choice of only considering the effective odds was wise, or if I should have taken more consideration into the implied odds of sticking out the quest a little harder towards the end... That'll be for me to find out when the day comes, if it ever comes. Mainly though, I presently have zero regrets about taking on this challenge, doing it publicly, and then decreasing my effort down the stretch.
I know in my last set of journals there were plenty of debates about topics similar to what I've discussed a little in this conclusion. Both sides have solid merits, and I have nothing new or exciting to add to either. Instead, I'd like to close out my journals with three quotes that vary in relevance towards each side of the debate that occurred, since there are smarter people than me who can say so much more by saying so little. I cannot think of any better way to conclude than by trying to apply these philosophies to both life and poker playing:
"If two teams are the same in physical ability and mental ability, it's the team with pride that wins." – Vince Lombardi (yes, it pains me to quote a Packer. Silence please!)
"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead, where there is no path and leave a trail." – Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever." – Gandhi
Thank you all for reading and commenting along the way!
Total for Day 60: $20
Grand Total: $31,366.08/$60,000, in approximately 235.6 hours of logged playing hours
All Past Journals, Linked
Intro and Day 1 (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=holdem&Number=684580&Forum =,,,,,,All_Forums,,,,,,&Words=&Searchpage=5&Limit= 25&Main=684580&Search=true&where=&Name=4677&datera nge=&newerval=&newertype=&olderval=&oldertype=&bod yprev=#Post684580)
Day 2 and Day 3 (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=holdem&Number=687924&Forum =,,,,,,,All_Forums,,,,,,,&Words=&Searchpage=4&Limi t=25&Main=687924&Search=true&where=&Name=4677&date range=&newerval=&newertype=&olderval=&oldertype=&b odyprev=#Post687924)
Day 4 and Day 5 (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=holdem&Number=691638&Forum =,,,,,,,All_Forums,,,,,,,&Words=&Searchpage=4&Limi t=25&Main=691638&Search=true&where=&Name=4677&date range=&newerval=&newertype=&olderval=&oldertype=&b odyprev=#Post691638)
Day 6 and Day 7 (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=holdem&Number=696812&Forum =,,,,,,,,All_Forums,,,,,,,,&Words=&Searchpage=3&Li mit=25&Main=696812&Search=true&where=&Name=4677&da terange=&newerval=&newertype=&olderval=&oldertype= &bodyprev=#Post696812)
Day 8 and Day 9 (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=holdem&Number=701251&Forum =,,,,,,,,,All_Forums,,,,,,,,,&Words=&Searchpage=2& Limit=25&Main=701251&Search=true&where=&Name=4677& daterange=&newerval=&newertype=&olderval=&oldertyp e=&bodyprev=#Post701251)
Day 10 and Day 11 (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=holdem&Number=704321&Forum =,,,,,,,,,All_Forums,,,,,,,,,&Words=&Searchpage=2& Limit=25&Main=704321&Search=true&where=&Name=4677& daterange=&newerval=&newertype=&olderval=&oldertyp e=&bodyprev=#Post704321)
Day 12 and Day 13 (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=holdem&Number=708970&Forum =,,,,,,,,,,All_Forums,,,,,,,,,,&Words=&Searchpage= 1&Limit=25&Main=708970&Search=true&where=&Name=467 7&daterange=&newerval=&newertype=&olderval=&oldert ype=&bodyprev=#Post708970)
Day 14 and Day 15 (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=holdem&Number=714517&Forum =,,,,,,,,,,,All_Forums,,,,,,,,,,,&Words=&Searchpag e=0&Limit=25&Main=714517&Search=true&where=&Name=4 677&daterange=&newerval=&newertype=&olderval=&olde rtype=&bodyprev=#Post714517)
Day 16 and Day 17 (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=holdem&Number=718612&Forum =,,,,,,All_Forums,,,,,,&Words=&Searchpage=5&Limit= 25&Main=718612&Search=true&where=&Name=4677&datera nge=&newerval=&newertype=&olderval=&oldertype=&bod yprev=#Post718612)
Day 18 and Day 19 (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=holdem&Number=722051&Forum =,,,,,,All_Forums,,,,,,&Words=&Searchpage=5&Limit= 25&Main=722051&Search=true&where=&Name=4677&datera nge=&newerval=&newertype=&olderval=&oldertype=&bod yprev=#Post722051)
Day 20 and Day 21 (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=holdem&Number=726950&Forum =,,,,,,All_Forums,,,,,,&Words=&Searchpage=5&Limit= 25&Main=726950&Search=true&where=&Name=4677&datera nge=&newerval=&newertype=&olderval=&oldertype=&bod yprev=#Post726950)
Day 22 and Day 23 (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=holdem&Number=732145&Forum =,,,,,All_Forums,,,,,&Words=&Searchpage=4&Limit=25 &Main=732145&Search=true&where=&Name=4677&daterang e=&newerval=&newertype=&olderval=&oldertype=&bodyp rev=#Post732145)
Day 24 and Day 25 (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=holdem&Number=735351&Forum =,,,,All_Forums,,,,&Words=&Searchpage=3&Limit=25&M ain=735351&Search=true&where=&Name=4677&daterange= &newerval=&newertype=&olderval=&oldertype=&bodypre v=#Post735351)
Day 26 and Day 27 (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=holdem&Number=741122&Forum =,,,,All_Forums,,,,&Words=&Searchpage=3&Limit=25&M ain=741122&Search=true&where=&Name=4677&daterange= &newerval=&newertype=&olderval=&oldertype=&bodypre v=#Post741122)
Day 28 and Day Mulligan (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=holdem&Number=748014&Forum =,,All_Forums,,&Words=&Searchpage=1&Limit=25&Main= 748014&Search=true&where=&Name=4677&daterange=&new erval=&newertype=&olderval=&oldertype=&bodyprev=#P ost748014)
Day 30 and Day 31 (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=holdem&Number=750764&Forum =,All_Forums,&Words=&Searchpage=0&Limit=25&Main=75 0764&Search=true&where=&Name=4677&daterange=&newer val=&newertype=&olderval=&oldertype=&bodyprev=#Pos t750764)
Day 32 and Day 33 (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=holdem&Number=755278&Forum =,,,,,,,,,,,All_Forums,,,,,,,,,,,&Words=&Searchpag e=10&Limit=25&Main=755278&Search=true&where=&Name= 4677&daterange=&newerval=&newertype=&olderval=&old ertype=&bodyprev=#Post755278)
Day 34 and Day 35 (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=holdem&Number=761146&Forum =,,,,,,,,,,,,All_Forums,,,,,,,,,,,,&Words=&Searchp age=9&Limit=25&Main=761146&Search=true&where=&Name =4677&daterange=&newerval=&newertype=&olderval=&ol dertype=&bodyprev=#Post761146)
Day 36 and Day 37 (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=holdem&Number=765977&Forum =,,,,,,,,,,,,All_Forums,,,,,,,,,,,,&Words=&Searchp age=9&Limit=25&Main=765977&Search=true&where=&Name =4677&daterange=&newerval=&newertype=&olderval=&ol dertype=&bodyprev=#Post765977)
Day 38 and Day 39 (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=holdem&Number=769294&Forum =,,,,,,,,,,,,,All_Forums,,,,,,,,,,,,,&Words=&Searc hpage=8&Limit=25&Main=769294&Search=true&where=&Na me=4677&daterange=&newerval=&newertype=&olderval=& oldertype=&bodyprev=#Post769294)
Day 40 and Day 41 (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=holdem&Number=773971&Forum =,,,,,,,,,,,,,All_Forums,,,,,,,,,,,,,&Words=&Searc hpage=8&Limit=25&Main=773971&Search=true&where=&Na me=4677&daterange=&newerval=&newertype=&olderval=& oldertype=&bodyprev=#Post773971)
Day 42 and Day 43 (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=holdem&Number=779620&Forum =,,,,,,,,,,,,,,All_Forums,,,,,,,,,,,,,,&Words=&Sea rchpage=7&Limit=25&Main=779620&Search=true&where=& Name=4677&daterange=&newerval=&newertype=&olderval =&oldertype=&bodyprev=#Post779620)
Days 44, 45, and 46 (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=holdem&Number=785387&Forum =,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,All_Forums,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,&Words=&S earchpage=6&Limit=25&Main=785387&Search=true&where =&Name=4677&daterange=&newerval=&newertype=&olderv al=&oldertype=&bodyprev=#Post785387)
Day 47 and Day 48 (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=holdem&Number=791359&Forum =,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,All_Forums,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,&Words= &Searchpage=5&Limit=25&Main=791359&Search=true&whe re=&Name=4677&daterange=&newerval=&newertype=&olde rval=&oldertype=&bodyprev=#Post791359)
Days 49, 50, 51, and 52 (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=holdem&Number=802397&Forum =,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,All_Forums,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,&Word s=&Searchpage=4&Limit=25&Main=802397&Search=true&w here=&Name=4677&daterange=&newerval=&newertype=&ol derval=&oldertype=&bodyprev=#Post802397)
Day 53 and Day 54 (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=holdem&Number=816168&Forum =,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,All_Forums,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,&Wo rds=&Searchpage=3&Limit=25&Main=816168&Search=true &where=&Name=4677&daterange=&newerval=&newertype=& olderval=&oldertype=&bodyprev=#Post816168)
Days 55, 56, and 57 (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=holdem&Number=824887&Forum =,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,All_Forums,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,&Words=&Searchpage=1&Limit=25&Main=824887&Search= true&where=&Name=4677&daterange=&newerval=&newerty pe=&olderval=&oldertype=&bodyprev=#Post824887)
Day 58 and Day 59 (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=holdem&Number=828874&Forum =,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,All_Forums,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,&Words=&Searchpage=1&Limit=25&Main=828874&Search= true&where=&Name=4677&daterange=&newerval=&newerty pe=&olderval=&oldertype=&bodyprev=#Post828874)